Anyone Else But You
by ThinksInWords
Summary: Tony manages to get himself some sort of stalker, and of course he would ask Kate for help. If she could just come over a couple of times, pretend they’re dating. That’s all there is to it. There are no feelings involved or anything. Right? Tate
1. Plan Schman

-1Anyone Else But You

Summary: Twilight, what Twilight? Tony manages to get himself some sort of stalker, and of course he would ask Kate for help. If she could just come over a couple of times, pretend they're dating. That's all there is to it. Right? Tate

Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS. Le shock. 

AN: Set around Switch. Only Kate's not dead. Will be explained. 

Chapter one: Plan schman 

The bullpen is reasonably quiet when he comes up to her. Gibbs is off somewhere with the new director - Jennifer Shepard - she could swear he has some sort of past with, Ziva is around somewhere and McGee is in the lab with Abby. They are the only ones left in the bullpen and that usually means either a fight or an awkward silence. 

"So there is this girl," he starts up, annoying her already, "and she-"

Of course there is a girl. There is always a girl with him. There is always a long-legged blonde with big assets of some sort. He is starting to become predictable. 

"No one here is interested in hearing about that," she replies, irritated. 

Even though she is the only one there at the moment, there is no interest at all in hearing about his latest girl of the week. Or of the day, probably. 

"Are you jealous, Katie," he then asks her. 

That would have to be one of the most ridiculous things she has ever heard. Jealousy of the women he uses to get his rocks off? Why would she be jealous of them? She has no interest at all in being used like that, and especially not by him. 

"Yes, because I really want to go out with _you_," she says sarcastically. 

He will probably crack some sort of joke about this as well, but she cannot let him think she is jealous of the bimbo's she has heard so much about. Because oh yeah, he just simply cannot keep his mouth shut about his sex life. She already knows way too much about what's her name again. It could be Hannah. Or something. 

"Really," he asks, teasing. "Because I think we can schedule something." 

She really should have expected that one. After over two years of working with him, she should have known that he would completely disregard the sarcasm and just pick up on the going out with him part. Typical DiNozzo. 

"Didn't you hear the sarcasm," she responds, even more annoyed with him. 

"I did," Tony says. "I just chose to ignore it." 

Again, it's a typical DiNozzo trait to just pick up what he wants to hear. He never actually listens to what she says, or at least, it seems like he doesn't. 

"Of course you would," she replies. 

Will he ever get back to the topic he seems to want to discuss with her? On the one hand, she really does not want to hear about his latest woman. But on the other hand, maybe this woman has something to do with a case or something else of interest to her. 

"So, about this girl," he starts back in on the original topic. 

"I can't imagine why you think I would want to hear about it," she speaks. 

He'll probably have another one of his typical comments lined up. No matter what she says, he always has something to say, usually something rude. But she gets the satisfaction of putting the last word in most of the time. 

"You could use some tips Katie," he mocks her. 

How dare he imply anything like that? Not that there is even the slightest possibility that he has some sort of experience with her that would allow him to say something like that to her. And he never will, of course, so he has no right to say this. 

"Bite me, Tony," is her retort. 

He actually clicks his teeth together a couple of times, grinning at her the whole time, seemingly saying that all she has to do is ask. Of course, she just glares at him. 

"Okay, so this girl refuses to hear the word no," he continues. 

That sounds like the perfect woman for him. He is always the one chasing after the girl until he gets a boyfriend or fiancé after him, or until he gets a number or a date. Being with a woman who works exactly the same way should work out perfectly. He wouldn't have to do all of the chasing for once. Why does he make it sound like such a problem?

"She sounds a lot like you," she teases him. 

Surprisingly enough, he does not seem particularly proud or happy at that. He actually seems very annoyed at that fact. It seem like Tony DiNozzo cannot handle the annoying traits he has himself in the opposite sex. It's kind of amusing. 

"She's been calling me all day," he complains. 

Maybe he feels crowded by her already. She just hopes this does not turn into another thing where she has to pick up his phone and tell one of his many ex-girlfriends that she is married to him. This better not be another one of his stupid bets with McGee. If it is, the both of them will have to expect a kick in the balls. 

"Oh, you poor thing," she sarcastically responds. 

"I never gave her my number," he explains with a frown marring his forehead. 

This is starting to get into the strange category, with a hint of stalker. One of his dates or ex-dates calling him all the time has almost become a regular occurrence here, but at least then he has given them his phone number. This is just a little creepy. 

"Maybe one of your friends gave it to her," she offers an explanation. 

She knows some of Tony's buddies, and they seem like just the type to give some strange woman his phone number for laughs. Steve would have done something similar, and maybe that is the reason why they never really worked out. 

"She's been visiting me at home," Tony continues to complain. 

"Giving her your address sure was a mistake," she snaps back snarkily. 

His hands are now resting on her desk, and she has to resist the urge to push them off, as if they are in some kind of childish turf war. Which, unfortunately, does not even sound this far from the truth. They do have the tendency to behave rather childishly around each other. Gibbs is not completely wrong in feeling like a high school principal. 

"I didn't give her my address," Tony tells her, annoyed. 

Okay, now this woman is seriously starting to sound a bit obsessed. Not even Tony's friends would go as far as to give a strange woman his address, especially not after women like Michelle, one of the few she actually liked. 

"She sounds sort of obsessed," she grudgingly admits to him. 

"Exactly," Tony says with a triumphant smile. 

That smile never bodes any good for her, so she had better stay alert. This has to be a sign that he is up to no good, and she is being dragged into it for some reason. 

"And why am I being dragged into this exactly," she just has to ask. 

She is not even sure that she really wants to know why he is standing here, hanging over her desk, talking to her about this woman. He is hanging closer to her by the second, and it is starting to make her seriously uncomfortable. Tony should stay at a certain distance from her at all times. This is just incredibly unnerving. 

"I need your help," he tells her. 

"No way," she immediately replies. "Not even if you paid me for it." 

Shouldn't she have known that something like this was coming? With him leaning in on her, hands on her desk, trying to look as innocent as possible. She had to have known that mortification of some kind was bound to ensue. He needs her help in pretending he already has a girlfriend, a serious relationship, with her. 

"Look Kate," he starts talking again. 

"Why don't you ask one of your many bimbo's," she asks, emphatically waving her arms around to make her point clear. "They'd probably be happy to help you." 

In fact, those women would jump at the chance to get closer to him, while to her, this idea is more on the side of horrifying. She will not voluntarily get this close to Tony DiNozzo, not now, not ever. For a case, she might have to, but not otherwise. 

"She's a detective," Tony speaks of the mystery stalker. 

"Explains the number and the address," she has to acknowledge. "Are you sure somebody doesn't need you for some sort of weird thing?"

Maybe one of his exes is trying to track him down, and this woman he thinks of as a stalker is only trying to reach him for her assignment. It seems a reasonable solution. 

"See, I thought of that too," he says. "Until she started sending love letters." 

That certainly eliminates her theory, because sending love letters to a person you are trying to find for someone else is not very common. No self-respecting private detective would send that type of letters to one of the "suspects."

"Still doesn't explain why you want my help," she tries to get back on topic. 

He probably has dozens of women who would love to do this for him. Why willingly choose the one he is always fighting with instead of the women who adore him? It just seems very strange to her. But he has always been a bit strange, even when she thinks she understands a lot of things he does. She knows him. 

"Do you really think those bimbo's could fool her," Tony asks her. 

She has to repress the negative response that wants to pass past her lips. It is of no use to express her absolute belief in the stupidity of almost all of those women.

"Tony, we fight all the time," she chooses to call out. 

"At least you know me," he admits to her. "I couldn't ask Abby!"

They have come to know each other very well, that much is true. Over the last two years, she has come to expect his typical characteristics, she has become able to predict his actions. It is the same for him. That is what makes them such a good team. 

"This is not some stupid bet with McGee again," she requests an answer. 

Because if this is just another way to get cash from McGee she will have to demand partial compensation. Meaning that she wants half of the money Tony will get for even getting her into this plan of his. She always does this with Abby. 

"I swear on my mother's life that," he starts to respond. 

"Your mother's dead, Tony," she cuts him off, eyebrow raised. 

Honestly, he has tried that particular trick on her before, back when she was trying to start something with his frat buddy Steve. But she can still distinctly remember that even though swearing on his mother's life was kind of pointless, he was speaking the truth about not following her on that date. He just already knew. 

"The other girls would not have known that," he tells her. 

Of course not. She doubts those girls know more than his name and where he works, that and maybe his age. He is a strangely private person for someone who spills every detail of his personal life at work. This supports her theory that he has something to hide. 

"You'll just keep on asking," she talks about his idea. 

"Yes," he says, with a smirk present on his face. 

She knows she really shouldn't even be thinking about this, shouldn't even be thinking about agreeing to this, but she is actually seriously considering it. Tony is her colleague - friend? - and he needs her help. Why shouldn't she help him? 

"What would it mean," she asks, getting close to giving in. 

"Just start showing up at my apartment a couple of times," he says. "Let her think about what it is we're doing in there. Maybe pick up my phone a couple of times."

See, if that is all there is to it, she might actually go through with it. It does not involve anything she is particularly uncomfortable with, like kissing him. That would definitely be something she will not do. But he should know that about her, and if he doesn't she will find a way to get that through to him. It could hurt. 

"You do realize that would mean there would be no dates for you," she teases him. 

The horror, the horror. Just picturing his life without a date for over a week makes her want to break out in a girlish giggle she has repressed since high school. He wouldn't know what to do without dates. No girls to sleep with every night.

"I think I can live without dates for a while," he responds. 

A snort escapes. That is one of many things she would have never expected him to say, denying his addiction to dating. And now he did, and the snort was inevitable. 

"I am going to regret this for the rest of my life," she concedes. 

His face changes into a frown, confusion written all over it. She has to hide her grin, because there is something adorable about that. Not that she would ever admit that she thought that. Not that she ever even meant to think something like that. Moving on. 

"That's a yes, isn't it," he asks her, hopeful. 

It is not too late yet. She can still tell him no and never think of this again. Only she knows that she is not going to choose that option, the safe one. Because every person with half a brain knows that spending more time with Tony DiNozzo is anything but safe. 

"Only if you won't make me do something really ridiculous," she demands. 

"Scout's honor," he says, with a smirk that does not bode any good. 

A few seconds later, she remembers why the smirk is not a good sign. She remembers his story about being in the Boy Scouts when he was younger. She remembers the reason why he was kicked out of the Boy Scouts. If that has any relation to this plan, she has to refuse to cooperate. He is in no way going to score with her, in any way. 

"No scoring brownie points," she speaks, with a triumphant smile on her face. 

While she was thinking of something to say that Tony would not be able to make into something X-rated, McGee has returned to the bullpen. He has probably caught the tail end of their conversation. Hopefully he has not heard about Tony's plan, because that is something she does not want everyone to know. 

"Tony as a boy scout," McGee asks with a skeptical look on his face. 

"Please don't make him tell that story again," she asks the junior agent. 

McGee gives her a look that signifies that he understands the nature of the anecdote and that he no longer wants to hear it. He too has known Tony for a while now, and he is starting to get when to stay quiet and not to ask for more of the stories. 

"I was a kid," Tony protests. 

"Your maturity rate is still exactly the same as back then," she shoots back. 

While looking triumphantly at Tony, she can see McGee holding back a grin, trying not to get caught by the senior field agent, which would earn him a slap to the head. 

"You're so nice to me Katie dear," Tony mocks. 

See, this is the moment where agreeing to the plan comes in handy. She will be able to hold this one over him for a very long time. He owes her now, and she is going to have fun collecting on this one. She just needs a bit more time to plan. 

"I can still change my mind," she tells him, hoping that will do for now. 

"Shutting up now," Tony says, making a zipping motion. 

While McGee looks at Tony and her in puzzlement, Ziva walks back into the bullpen, seemingly cheery about something. She probably caused another car accident, with her driving style and all. She was an East-European cab driver in a previous life. 

"Is this like the time you two were blackmailing each other," McGee asks. 

Great work McGee, discuss one of the most embarrassing moments in her professional career in front of one of the only people who does not know about it yet. She has a suspicion that close to the entire team knows about it. 

"Blackmail," Ziva asks, obviously curious. 

"Abby told you, didn't she," she turns to McGee. 

Trying to intimidate McGee into telling things. It still works, fortunately enough for both her and Tony. They are the only ones who seem to use this skill. Well, and Gibbs, but he does it to everyone. It even works on her, something which greatly annoys her. 

"She showed him the picture," Tony explains, grinning. 

She will have to have a serious talk with Abby about showing that picture. It was more than embarrassing enough that Tony got a hold of it. She does not want the entire team to see the evidence of her wilder years in college. It is just plain embarrassing. 

"Picture," Ziva asks. 

This topic has to be nipped in the bud now, before more embarrassing and humiliating stuff is laid out on the table. Having that picture sent to Gibbs was already more than enough for her. Abby knows too, and now McGee. More than enough. 

"Oh, I'm sorry," McGee apologizes. "It was last year, when Kate and Tony"

Rushing to admonish the probationary field agent, she puts on her angriest face. 

"McGee," she calls out. 

"Probie," Tony says simultaneously. 

Apparently, they are both not eager to have this tale told to the liaison officer. She does not want to tell her because she does not know or like her, and it seems almost the same with Tony. Strange, because she thought they would have been all over each other. Ziva is not afraid to discuss sexual things with him. It seems right. 

"You had to be there," McGee concludes the story. 

"Right," Ziva responds, looking almost disappointed. 

She is so glad that her secrets are not going to be told again that she almost forgets about what she did. She just agreed to one of Tony DiNozzo's great ideas. What the heck was she thinking? And what is she getting herself into?

AN: So, that is the first chapter. Kudo's for everyone who gets the story title. 


	2. Not A Real Date

-1**Chapter two: Not a real date**

Chapter summary: The plan goes into action. And oh yeah, this is not a date.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

AN: Yep, chapter two. The start of the plan. Kudo's to abbylover for guessing the title.

She is standing in front of Tony DiNozzo's apartment door, debating if she is actually going to knock or just run away. Even though she wants to just walk away from this and tell him that she has changed her mind, she knows that she won't. She has promised him that she would help him out, and that is what she is going to do.

Knocking on the door is the option she chooses. She lifts her hand and taps it lightly against the door a couple of times. The only response to that is the sound of stumbling coming from the apartment. So she raises her hand to knock again.

"Katie, dear, glad you could make it," Tony then says while opening the door.

Feeling like an idiot, she quickly lowers her hand. Only then she remembers that she has to pretend to be dating Tony, so she blushes prettily and looks at him. Mentally she is rolling her eyes at him and thinking of ways to kill the stalker without leaving any forensic evidence. Maybe she should discuss that with Abby.

"I'm not late, am I," she asks, trying to look flirtatious.

Really, she is gagging on the inside. That may sound hypocritical, because she is more than observant enough to notice the underlying flirtation in their banter. But that is exactly what it is: underlying. Openly flirting with him makes her sick.

"Of course not, I don't mind waiting for you," he says with a charm smile.

"That's very kind of you," she responds, fluttering her eyelashes.

All of those silly things she is doing, that is all just a parody of all the bimbo's she has seen him date before. Fluttering her eyelashes, blushing like a school girl, giggling like a high school freshman when he says something funny. She feels like she's fourteen years old again, dreaming of the day when Jack Reynolds would notice her.

"I'm always kind to beautiful women like you," Tony flirts.

"Very suave," she replies, teasing him with a smile.

It is not until he draws out his arm to pull her inside of the apartment that she realizes that they are being watched by some sort of crazy stalker. She could not forget about putting on a show, but she can forget the reason for putting on this show.

"And, we're in," he says while closing the door.

Looking around at his apartment, she is surprised at how clean it is. He probably hires a maid for that. She is still pleasantly surprised at how it looks. It is not nearly as tacky as she thought it would be based on the things she knows about his taste.

"How can you be sure she even saw that," she chooses to complain.

Honestly, she is pretending for the sake of someone she has only heard of. She does not know if the stalker was even there. She does not even know if the stalker even really exists. But she is going to take Tony's word on that one. Tony knows better than to lie to her, especially about having a stalker. It's a sensitive subject.

"Because she always sees who goes in and out," he says, frowning.

"I hate that feeling that you're being watched," she sympathizes.

Sometimes she still gets that tingle at the back of her neck that makes her think that he is back to kill her this time. It has been a couple of months, but she is still not over it, and maybe that is the real reason that she is standing here, helping Tony. Even though his stalker is not there to kill him, it can still drive you crazy.

"This remind you of," Tony asks, obviously not wanting to say the name.

She vaguely remembers seeing Tony's face while she was doped up on painkillers after being shot on that rooftop. She remembers agents being on surveillance duty at her room to keep _him_ from coming back and shooting her again. She remembers not being able to sleep, plagued with memories of _him_, and of the blue lights.

"Yeah, it does," she speaks in a small voice. "But he's dead."

For some strange reason that only Gibbs would understand, Tony was the one who had gotten the task to give her the news. She had been lying in the hospital bed, secretly terrified that he was going to come back to kill her. And then Tony came in, looking both incredibly worried and relieved at the same time. She had known what he was going to say before he even said it. She had finally been able to sleep that night.

"Thanks to the boss," Tony responds with an unreadable look.

"Can we not talk about him," she requests.

Talking about those days still makes her very uncomfortable, so she tends to avoid talking about it at all costs. It makes her wonder why she is talking about it now. And why she would talk to him about this. He's her colleague - friend? She does not even really know what he really means to her, and she does not want to think about it.

"Assuming you don't mean Gibbs, yes," he agrees.

"You want to talk about work," she asks in response.

Why would he want to talk about work at a time like this? She thought he would have had much more to say. Only, they have never really talked that much outside of work, besides their casual Chinese dinners together every once in a while.

"Not really," he admits to her.

They both seem to be lost for words at the moment, which is strange, because they are both people who usually have something to say. They always seem to be able to banter with one another, teasing and mocking over a silly subject. Why is talking to him so hard right now? Because of the talk about _him_? She doesn't know.

"No Gibbs either," she eliminates a topic.

"That is a really awkward date-topic," Tony seems to agree with her.

He used the word date for this thing. As if she was not uncomfortable enough yet. In his apartment for the first time, putting on a show for a stalker, talking about _him_, and now Tony has the nerve to call this a date? It just makes it much more awkward.

"Not that this is a date," she tells him quickly.

Because never will she ever go on a date with Tony DiNozzo. He is more than annoying enough as just a co-worker slash friend. He is annoying and immature, and he never dates anyone for longer than a weak. Did she mention that he was annoying?

"Talking to you has never been this hard," the annoying man says.

She cannot help herself, she can sympathize with that. She knows how some situations just get so awkward that you no longer know what to say to the other person. She has never had this kind of uncomfortable silence with Tony before, because they both make sure there is never a silence in their conversation. They banter and tease, and if there just so happens to be a lull in the conversation, there can be a comfortable silence.

"I know what you mean," she says, because she does not know what else to say.

The last time conversation with a man was this awkward was on her last date, the one with the lawyer one of her sisters-in-law had set her up with. She still had to call Erica and thank her for that waste of a perfectly nice evening.

"You want to watch a movie," Tony breaks the silence again.

"As long as it's not something completely awful," she gives in.

She usually prefers reading over watching a movie, but since reading is not exactly something you can do together, a movie seems like an alright alternative. The not so good part would be that she knows Tony's taste in movies is not in line with hers.

"I'm hurt, Katie," he starts their typical banter. "I have excellent taste."

Knowing that he means this as more than a comment on his taste in movies, she cannot help the snort that escapes. Him saying that he has good taste is as ridiculous as Gibbs dating a blonde, instead of his usual redheads. Like the new director. She had noticed there is some sort of past there, but she is not nosy enough to find out what exactly.

"Very graceful, Katie dear," Tony comments.

"Oh, bite me, Anthony love," she replies, spitting out the endearment with a frown.

It is completely worth it though. Tony responds to the endearment by choking on air, something which amuses her to no end. Take that, DiNozzo.

"That sounds so wrong coming from you," he says, still coughing.

Every once in a while, she has to do something that he would never expect of her, just to keep him guessing. It is something she greatly enjoys, just to see the look of awe and puzzlement on his face. It always serves to make her smile.

"The look on your face made it all worth it," she speaks with a syrupy sweet smile.

"You just always have to one-up me," he complains in jest.

She grins at him, mentally sticking her tongue out at him, but not feeling immature enough to do it for real. They have always been competing over something, ever since they met, and they both know that it is not going to stop anytime soon.

Looking around Tony's apartment, she notices that the curtains are still open. Would the stalker be able to look inside? She would probably have binoculars of some kind, which would mean that she could look into the apartment at any time. That is an idea she is not quite comfortable with, so maybe those curtains should be closed.

"Don't you need to close the curtains," she suggests.

He looks at her in surprise, still grinning about their little competition. He seems to enjoy bantering with her as much as she enjoys bantering with him. Even the undertone of flirtation is amusing to her, but that is something he'll never know.

"Do you really think so," he asks, concerned.

"If she is as bad as you make it out to be," she responds, shrugging her shoulders.

She hates being called upon as an authority on being stalked. Luckily enough, not many people know about it besides the team and a couple of relatives she actually likes. There are a few of those, yes. Which reminds her that she has to visit Gwenny soon.

"Well," Tony starts to say something.

"You're going to ask me to put on a show," she immediately understands.

That is something she has to think about for a while. Sure, going into Tony's apartment with him should send a message, and she is fine with that. But taking it that step further and actively pretending to be a couple? She is not so sure about that, partly because she has to be really comfortable with someone for something to happen between them, and she is not sure if she is comfortable enough with Tony. At least, not in that way.

"It would make the whole thing more believable," he mentions.

Even though she hates to admit it, he is right about that one. Right now, his stalker could still think she is his sister or something similar to that. For Tony's plan to be really successful, they have to make sure the stalker thinks that they are dating.

"I shouldn't even be considering this, but fine," she finally agrees.

He will understand her boundaries well enough not to try anything that could potentially render him unable to produce any offspring. He is smart enough to know just when he has crossed the line. He knows when he can expect castration threats from her.

"You're a life-saver, Katie," he says, thankful.

Is this another thing he can owe her for? Because at the rate this is going, she can have him do anything she wants for the next year or so. She could make him stop annoying her, but that would also stop the banter, and she enjoys that too much to make it stop. His joking somehow lightens up the mood in the bullpen after tough cases.

"You're an incorrigible suck-up," she says, but she smiles anyway.

"And you like it that way," he dares to insinuate while smiling back at her.

Choosing to ignore that comment - because she simply cannot deal with his flirting right now - she makes her way to the window. She looks outside, trying to spot anyone or anything that could be considered something suspicious.

"Honey, do you want me to close the curtains," she asks in her girlfriend voice.

By the change in the reflection in the glass of the window, she notices that he is standing right behind her just seconds before she feels his chest brushing her back. Luckily, it is not as uncomfortable as she thought it would be.

"We don't want anyone looking in," Tony says good-naturedly.

She puts on a fake smile as she leans back, into his chest. She tries not to let on about how awkward she thinks this is. Especially because it feels quite comfortable, and almost natural for her to be doing this, which is probably just an effect of not having been with a guy for a while. It has nothing to do with him specifically. That's comforting.

"Why," she asks. "Do you have plans for me?"

Again, she thinks he might be choking on air. Better said, she can feel him almost choking on air, and she pretends to look worried about him as she turns around.

"I have enough plans for the both of us," he flirts, smirking.

"I knew you would, baby," she goes along with the ruse.

Her arms reach out to close the curtain, her fake smile still on her face. She must look like the picture of happiness, only she is a bit unnerved mentally. In particular because of how comfortable she is with him. She should not be this comfortable in this position.

"I didn't know you had it in you," Tony just has to tease.

When they step away from the window - an eternity too late, in her opinion - she rolls her eyes at him, trying to convey that she thinks he is being an idiot.

"I feel dirty," she complains, wrinkling her nose.

It is not openly flirting with him which has made her feel sick, strangely enough. The point is that openly flirting with him did not make her sick. Because it really should have, and the fact that it didn't is making her feel very uncomfortable around him. She needs to get away from him and figure it out what is going on.

"Christina Aguilera dirty," Tony asks. "Cause I could"

In no way should she let him finish that sentence. Since she has found out elbowing him helps in shutting him up, at least most of the time, that is what she does.

"Now I really need a shower," she says, disgust in her voice.

Preferably a very cold one. Just because they wake her up, which means she will be much more focused afterwards. That should make it easier to figure everything out, like why she is not more disgusted at the whole thing, and at her own behavior.

"You could shower here, you know," he offers.

Because she is in no way feeling uncomfortable enough already. She has never showered at a man's place when she was not dating him. That is just a whole new level of intimacy between her and Tony that she is uncertain about. She is not really sure if she is ready for something like this. Everything seems to be changing so fast.

"I didn't bring clean clothes," she responds, using an excuse.

"I have some old stuff," Tony immediately replies.

She is seriously considering something he thought of, again. Something is wrong with her. When she gets home, she is staying in bed. Maybe she has caught the flu again, and it is making her feel a bit delirious. Everything is a bit weird at the moment.

"How's the lock," she asks, in a desperate attempt to start banter.

"Have a little faith in your partner," Tony pretends to be insulted.

Finally they are back on familiar terrain again. The topic feels almost domestic, but at least they are bantering and teasing again. Maybe she should just tell Tony she is not helping him anymore. It is seriously starting to mess with her brain.

"No peeking," she orders with a stern look.

On the contrary to what he thinks, she remembers the time that they had to protect that commander. That time when they had to share a bathroom. When he thought it was fun to come in while she was showering. Hitting him with a sponge was fun though.

"I would never," he disagrees with her.

"Save that one for the bimbo's," she says. "I know better."

Turning around to look for the shower, she almost misses the amused grin he shoots her, seemingly appreciating their return to familiar terrain as much as her. Everything is so much easier when they are fighting. It is just much less confusing.

"That's why you're here and they're not," Tony continues the banter.

"Right," she says, rolling her eyes. "Clothes?"

He is looking her up and down again, like he did that time when she had a date with a murder suspect, the time when he transformed her from nice to hot. What possessed her when she let him do that is still an unanswered question.

"Only if you really want to," Tony smirks.

Times like this one make her remember why he gets on her nerves. He can be such an annoying asshole sometimes, and it just makes her want to hurt him. So she elbows him again, smiling in satisfaction when he groans in pain.

"Right," he says. "My room. Pick whatever you want."

At this point, she is just annoyed by him, which is exactly the way things are supposed to be between the two of them. No being comfortable at all.

"You'll wish you had never said that," she responds, determined to annoy him.

Right now she is just saying things because she wants to annoy him, and it would be best if she stayed away from him for a while, before she says something that really hurts his feelings. And no matter what, she does not actually want to hurt his feelings. She is not that cruel and vindictive, no matter what a certain ex-fiancé says.

"You never know," Tony replies, keeping the conversation light.

Maybe if she had been in a better mood she would have let him know that she appreciates his effort to keep the conversation from turning hostile. Right now, she just cannot find it in herself to care about showing appreciation. She just wants to vent her anger.

"From X to XXX, yet again," she lets out a groan.

"What can I say, you're very inspiring," the gutter-minded man says.

That could almost be a sincere compliment if it had been about something different instead of how she apparently stars in some of his fantasies. Which is something she really does not want to know anything else about, because that will get them into territory that she really wants to keep out of. She just needs to get to that shower.

"Just shut up DiNozzo," she says, obviously irritated.

She leaves to find her way to his bedroom. If that wouldn't make things just a little weirder. As if things weren't weird enough already.

AN: So there is chapter two. Not completely happy with it, but still. Tension…


	3. There's Got To Be A Morning After

-1**Chapter three: There****'****s Got To Be A Morning After**

Summary: She stayed over. She picks up his phone. Another case of weird.

Disclaimer: Don't own Tony, Kate and their friends. Too broke to sue anyway.

AN: Here goes. It's strange to be posting chapter three when you're writing on chapter thirteen. And no, there will be no torrid necking. Yet. That might take a while.

Why did she stay over at his place again? She cannot seem to connect the dots.

Oh right, it was because he promised to wash her clothes, and she was particularly tired after the shower. By then, his clothes seemed enough like pajama's to be alright with. He already had the guestroom ready, so who was she to argue?

"Did you sleep well," he asks her while they are having breakfast.

They are sitting on his very comfortable couch, eating the cereal that was all that he had left in the closet. The man seriously needs to learn how to cook, or at least how to stock his refrigerator so that he does not go to sleep on an empty stomach. But then again, why would he buy healthy food when he basically lives on take-out?

"I slept fine," she responds, still not fully awake yet.

When she finally got used to the idea that Tony DiNozzo was only one door away from her, she slept pretty good. Unfortunately enough for her, it took quite a while to get used to that, so she has not had enough hours of sleep. That makes her crabby.

"Was the guestroom alright," he asks another question.

He is surprisingly cheery in the mornings, she notes. She has never really been a morning person, but she had to get used to early mornings because of her job. His cheeriness at this hour makes her want to strangle him, but she knows by firsthand experience as a federal agent that the law frowns upon homicide, so she refrains from killing him.

"Why do you even have a guestroom," she chooses to ask.

"For moments like this one," he answers.

That answer doesn't tell her anything at all and he knows it. He is saying something like this on purpose, because he has already found out how much she hates mornings. That was somewhere between her hitting him when he tried to wake her up and her yelling at him when he joked about wanting to watch her get dressed.

"You're incorrigible," she says, keeping those incidents in mind.

"And proud of it," he simply responds.

He is in no way ashamed of that, and something about that makes her grin. It's her first grin of the morning, so he almost has the right to that triumphant smirk of his. But not completely, so she makes the motion of elbowing him. He evades her.

"Ever heard of growing up, DiNozzo," she asks him.

This is said just to tease him, because she already knows that he is a lot more mature than he lets on. She has had some glimpses of the man behind the façade, but she has not told him that she knows about that. If he goes through that much trouble just to stick with that façade, she is not going out of her way to undo it.

"Actually, I have," he replies, joking. "I'm just not always interested in it."

Maybe she can at least let him know that she knows. She is a profiler after all, she often notices things that other people don't see. This is exactly the same.

"Liar," she speaks up, deciding to let him know that she knows.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he denies it all.

She thinks that he at least got the message, but he doesn't want to discuss it. She never figured he would, but at least he knows he doesn't have to keep it - the façade - up around her all of the time. She wants to find what, or who, is behind it.

"Fine," she lets it go. "We won't talk about it."

Just when she needs a subject change, Tony's phone starts ringing. She looks at him, waiting for him to pick it up, so she can find out who is calling. She is curious.

"Why don't you pick up, Katie dear," Tony hands her the phone.

This will probably be just another part of his plan to keep his stalker far, far away. She will just have to pick up the phone and play along. Some twisted part of her wants to talk to the stalker, because she is curious about what kind of woman this stalker will be.

"This better not be Gibbs," she tells Tony.

"Caller ID is unknown," he explains to her.

So at least she won't completely embarrass herself in front of her boss. That is something, at least. But she really does not want to take the risk of getting someone she knows on the phone, because that would just be all kinds of awkward. She is imagining all kinds of scenarios with McGee, Abby, or who knows, even Ziva. It would be weird.

"If this is someone I know, I will castrate you," she threatens.

Somehow that threat always seems to work on him, so with a satisfied smile, she slowly moves to pick up the phone that is ringing to the tune of Right Said Fred's "I'm Too Sexy", a song that is just too typically Tony. She grins again.

"It could be my father," Mister Too Sexy responds.

"Tony," she calls out, immediately losing the grin.

To think that she almost would have picked up the phone with some sort of weird line about being Tony's girlfriend. Imagine the mortification that would ensue when she found out it was his father on the other side. Saved just in time.

"I'm kidding," Tony says as if it means nothing.

After glaring at him for a couple more seconds, and grinning yet again at Tony's absolutely ridiculous ringtone, she finally manages to pick up the phone.

"Tony's phone," she says, hoping this is not someone she knows.

"Hello," an unfamiliar female voice sounds.

She is particularly relieved that the person on the phone with her is not someone she knows. That would mean that she is talking to Tony's stalker right now, the woman who she really wants to blame for getting her into this mess.

"Yes, who is this," she asks, trying to stay polite.

"I must have dialed the wrong number," is the response.

Apparently the woman does not want to divulge her identity anymore than she wants to tell Tony's stalker her name. Because you never know with a stalker. Who knows what the woman would do to Tony's girlfriend? Not something illegal, because this woman should know the law, but something crazy is not unexpected.

"Who are you looking for," she asks the crazy detective.

Most detectives she knows are reasonably stable people, besides that older man who wanted the McAllister disappearance to be turned into a murder so he could get his hands on the reward. This one is probably on the same level as that guy.

"He said his name was Tony," the stalker speaks in a bimbo voice.

'Right," she replies while rolling her eyes, "this is his phone."

Of course, the man in question is snickering at her in a very immature way and she has to seriously glare at him for a while before he shuts up. Very mature, Tony.

"And who is this," the question sounds.

Is that woman seriously that dense? The only girl who will pick up a man's phone is his girlfriend. Men don't usually let just anyone pick up their phone. A long time ago, when she had a fiancé, he wouldn't let her pick up his phone. But that was because he was cheating on her with her roommate. She doesn't want to talk about that.

"His girlfriend," she replies, trying to keep herself from adding a duh.

"Oh, can I speak to Tony," the stalker asks.

She is really trying to hold herself back from yelling at that stupid woman about how she cannot speak to Tony because he is too busy laughing at her to pick up the phone, and the only reason she has not hung up yet is because Tony wants to get rid of her first.

"He's kind of - busy," she decides to say, purposefully breathless.

At least that one gets a response other than laughing from Tony. He is not choking this time, but his jaw looks ready to hit the floor right about now.

"Baby, hang up," he tells her in a husky voice.

Now that he is actually going along with it, she desperately wants to take back what she said just now. She was only trying to get that woman to hang up, and at the same time trying to get some sort of reaction from Tony. Well, at least she succeeded on the latter part. The stalker does not seem to be hanging up any time soon.

"But what if it's important," she complains, staying in character.

"They'll call back," Tony assures her.

Basically, they are both trying to get the stalker to think that they are getting busy at the moment, which would make them too busy to answer the phone. She is really hoping that the stalker will get it soon, because she is so going to hell for this.

"What do you want," she asks Tony, trying not to sound hostile.

"You," he says in the husky voice. "And you know it."

She is going straight to hell. Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. This is just really bad, and she should really hang up right now. But if this really helps Tony, and he will be rid of his stalker, would it be worth it? She is merely helping a friend. No, she cannot keep saying that. That is how sinners start out, and she will not go there.

"Tony, I'm still on the phone," she complains sweetly, rolling her eyes at him.

"Say goodbye, be polite," he tells her. "Then hang up."

There is nothing that she wants to do more. Maybe she should go to church after this is over, and ask for forgiveness. She cannot do something like this anymore.

"You're very impatient," she mocks him as usual.

"I've been waiting for you for so long," he replies. "I need you baby."

That just reminds her way too much of that chick flick with that cute actor who recently died. She is not good with titles or actors, but she remembers the scene. "I want you, I need you, oh baby, oh baby." Of course, that is said with sarcasm.

"I need you too," she says, rolling her eyes.

Really, saying something like this makes her think of those cheesy movies that she loves to watch every once in a while, where the teenagers just suddenly go from hating each other to loving each other just because he helps her that one time. In the real world, things are never that simple. There are bosses, jobs and rules.

"Did I catch you at a bad time," the stalker finally catches on.

She is almost happy enough to do a little victory dance, but she knows that Tony will never let her live that one down, so she doesn't.

"Try calling again later," she advises instead.

"Alright," the stalker seems to agree.

There has been no audible click just yet, so she knows that the stalker is still listening to whatever she and Tony say to each other. Tony does not know that yet, so she puts her finger in front of her lips, making a shushing motion. He gets it and immediately closes his mouth. He waits for her to give the all clear signal. And she will.

"Oh Tony, right there," she breathes out.

That line finally causes a definite click on the other side, so she drops the phone on the couch and grins at her co-worker who is choking on air, again. She is still grinning at him innocently while she re-adjusts her shirt and her position on his couch.

"Breathe, DiNozzo," she orders him, all the while still grinning.

"I did not expect something like that from you," he admits.

That is the whole reason why she did it. That and giving their performance a little extra something. Actually, she doesn't really know what made her say that. The idea of jealousy is ridiculous, but objectively seen, it would be the most probable reason. Maybe being objective is not a good idea at the moment.

"Can't let you outdo me, right," she plays it cool.

"Of course not," he says, rolling his eyes.

Him stealing her signature move when it comes to him, pisses her off enough to glare at him while threatening to elbow him at the same time. He gets the hint.

"And the sooner she gets the hint, the better," she explains.

Because this thing is doing all kinds of weird things to her composure. And it is better to get this thing over with soon and go back to their normal routine, instead of hanging out on his couch that is way too comfortable. She slouches for a minute.

"And you think that would help," he asks, clearly skeptical.

It works in the movies, he should know that. But then again, in the movies the man and the decoy always end up together at the end, so maybe that is not the perfect example to use in this situation. She in no way wants this thing to end with her in Tony's arms, because that would just be all kinds of wrong. She dislikes him.

"Why wouldn't it," she chooses to ask him.

"She needs to see that it's serious," Tony explains.

Could he sound anymore patronizing at the moment? Honestly, she is not a five-year-old, so he does not have to treat her like one. She knows that Tony wants to put up a front of a serious relationship, but she knows for a fact that knowing that a man is having sex with someone else can be quite the turnoff. She has been there.

"Meaning," she barks at him.

"We're going to be cute," Tony declares with a grin.

Really, she should have been expecting that one. It would have prevented her jaw from dropping on the apartment floor and her eyes from popping out of her skull. She realizes that is not making a pretty picture, but that is just the way it feels.

"I am vetoing that one," she shoots back at him.

He owes her big time already, so he has to do what she says, right? A part of her knows it is not that simple. She only wants it to be that simple.

"You said you'd help me," he almost pouts.

Great, now he is laying a guilt trip on her. If there is anything she really hates, it has to be guilt trips. A certain ex-fiancé did that when she found out that he had been sleeping with her roommate for a while now. He tried to blame it all on her. Despicable.

"I am not a call girl, Tony," she says, angry.

"Trust me, I know that," he replies, leering at her.

She is debating on him deserving an elbow to the stomach for that. It is not what he says, it is the way he says it. He is leering at her, looking her up and down, and it is making her seriously uncomfortable enough to seriously consider his idea, if only just to make him stop looking at her like that. That is probably why he said it anyway.

"What do you mean by cute," she concedes.

Because she might be able to get herself through a dinner with him, but she is in no way doing any public displays of attention. Not with him, and not where anyone can see her.

"Some cheesy public date," he says.

"Holding hands in the park," she asks, skeptical.

Imagining the two of them walking through the park, holding hands, is such a ridiculous image that she laughs in spite of herself. The idea is just so corny that she cannot help herself, and with a look at him she knows he feels the same way.

"Something like that," he says, grinning.

"I'm taking you ice-skating," she then decides.

Hey, if she has to go on a pseudo-date with him, she might as well choose something that she enjoys. She never has the time to go ice-skating these days, and she really wants to get back on the ice to see if she still has it. It has nothing to do with enjoying watching Tony fall flat on his ass. She is not that sadistic, not at all. Who is she kidding?

"Wait, what," he says, wide-eyed.

There he is, staring at her with that in no way adorable surprised and confused expression on his face. She giggles like a high school freshman. She cannot help it.

"You can't do it, DiNozzo," she asks him, challenges him.

"But," he manages to speak up.

She waits for a couple of seconds, but nothing else comes after that. So it seems like he has no real arguments against going ice-skating, but he does not actually want to. Maybe she will actually manage to convince him in the end.

"I'm guessing that's a no," she mocks.

He seems to have no idea whatsoever about what to do or say next, something that she loves doing to him, getting him speechless. One way or another. Maybe that is the reason for all of her comments earlier, trying to one-up him somehow. She just likes being the last one standing, and shutting him up is the best way to achieve that.

"Do you need a shower after all the stuff you said," he tries.

Nice try, DiNozzo. She is not letting him get to her that easily. She will get him on the ice with her, one way or another. She would hate actually having to use her "you owe me" card this early in this twisted game they are playing, but she would do it.

"I think I'll live until I get home," she says, satisfied.

Now it is only a matter of time before he cracks and agrees to going with her. After all, this being cute was his idea, and he will look like an idiot if he refuses when he has gotten her to agree with him. That is the way his mind works, that simple. She is able to predict what he will say or do to a certain extent. It happens when you work that close with someone, you start to memorize their habits and other things they do.

"Especially if I go ice-skating with you, right," he asks.

"Exactly, DiNozzo," she praises him like she would a dog.

Of course, he understands the way her mind works as well. This sometimes means endless wars over the silliest things, but sometimes it means that they can communicate with only a few words used. That is just the way they work.

"Fine," he says, and she knows that she has one.

That is going to be a seriously interesting and amusing pseudo-date.

AN: Hehe. They know each other. Ice-skating. Good. Reviews encourage updates…


	4. Cold As Ice

-1**Chapter four: Cold as Ice**

Summary: Tony and Kate. Ice-skating. None of this grabs you?

Disclaimer: Don't own. Yeah, I know. Duh.

AN: The chapter is kind of long, I guess. Also, it was sort of real life inspired. The guy who helped me was just as cute. Only there was no falling involved. Drat.

The ice-rink is not particularly crowded, since it is a Friday evening, which is not the time most families go ice-skating. Of course, there are some other people there, mostly young couples trying to get some private time together while ice-skating.

Speaking of skating, someone she won't name has yet to set foot on the ice. He is standing at the side of the rink, looking at her while she is gliding over the ice in a way that shows she has had years of practice. She is grinning triumphantly at his unsure expression. He does not seem excited to get on the ice.

"Come on DiNozzo, get your ass on the ice," she calls out.

Judging by the grin on his face, she should really stop using expressions that involve his ass, because it is seriously starting to get to his ego, which is large enough as it is. There is no way that she is going to help enlarge it any further. And she is also not going on about this topic any longer, because it really can be taken out of context.

"That is exactly the problem," Tony responds with a grin.

"What," she asks, not sure exactly what he means.

Why would actually getting on the ice be such a problem for him? He got into the rented skates with no problem. That is, after complaining about how the things smelled. She had to agree with him on that point, very glad that she brought her own skates.

"My ass on the ice, instead of my feet," he explains with a sheepish grin.

"It can't be that bad," she replies in disbelief.

Honestly, in all her years of ice-skating she has seen some pretty funny things, has seen some pretty bad skaters. However, she does not believe that Tony DiNozzo would be one of the really bad ones, because she had him pegged as a typical jock. And most jocks she knows have tried hockey at one point in time.

"You have no idea," Tony says, sounding miserable.

That just makes her want to watch him on the ice even more, so she tries to draw him out of his corner and onto the ice. At least he is standing closer to the actual ice now.

"Your parents never took you ice-skating," she asks him.

"Are you kidding me," he answers, scoffing. "That would mean that Anthony DiNozzo senior would actually care. And mother, well, she was never the ice princess type."

The carelessness in her tone is so poignant it hurts. She already knew that he does not share a strong connection with his father, but something like this sounds so much worse than her worst expectations. A father who didn't care at all. Also, she is not sure about his mother. She doesn't sound like someone who would win the Best Mom award.

"I'm sorry, Tony," she says, sad for him.

"Don't," he barks at her. "Your parents probably took you out on trips all the time."

At this moment he is just desperately trying to change the subject, she knows that. And she lets him, because the previous topic seemed to be painful. His parents seem to be a sensitive subject, she has to remember that to avoid tactless comments in the future.

"My brothers loved playing hockey," she reminisces. "My mom thought I should do something with skating as well. So I did some figure-skating."

There, she is sharing one of her more embarrassing childhood stories with him, just to make him feel better. And honestly, she wouldn't have known what to say if the topic had not changed. Horrible parents are not something that she has experience with, at least not to the extent that Tony apparently had to endure over the years.

"Little Caitlin Todd, figure-skater," he teases her.

"Don't even say anything," she responds to that.

Honestly, she is not even half as annoyed as she sounds. She is too glad that she has gotten him to lighten up to think about her embarrassing childhood story. She hasn't even thought about wondering why she told that particular one to him.

"It's kind of cute, considering it's you," Tony says with a grin.

Why would he add the last part? Can't she be cute? She is feeling insulted, because why shouldn't she have the ability to be cute? She is just another woman.

"Why considering it's me," she asks, seriously annoyed.

"You always want to be one of the guys," he argues.

He is actually right about that, so she is going to let him slide on the earlier comment. He only knows the more emancipated feminist side of her, fighting for equality in a workplace that is mostly catered to men. She was one of the few female agents in the Secret Service, and that has taught her how to deal with men.

"My mom wouldn't let me play hockey," she admits. "It was too dangerous."

She still remembers how devastated she was about that, even at that age. That quickly changed when Owen offered to teach her after his practice. She just had to promise not to tell her mother that he was endangering her precious youngest daughter. Maybe that was why Owen had always been her favorite brother.

"I knew it," Tony says with a delighted grin.

Her other brothers were good boys, serious boys, who listened to everything mother said they should do. Owen was the only one who had as much of a mischievous streak as she had, and still has. She always tried to go against her mother's orders, and Owen often helped her with that, and he still does sometimes. If only he didn't live that far away.

"What did you do when you were a kid," she asks Tony.

"I was a jock," he admits. "Football and basketball."

Of course, just as she expected he would be. It should mean that he won't be completely horrible at ice-skating, but he is still too scared to actually start skating. At least he is standing on the ice by now. He has yet to find his footing, but he is standing.

"Come on Tony, if you're a jock, you can do this," she says, circling around him.

He is no longer holding onto the side, so she has room enough to skate large circles around him. She can feel her enthusiasm for skating coming back, so she just does an extra little twirl right in front of Tony, just to show off.

"Trust me, this always ends badly," he says, moving off the ice.

"Do you want me to teach you," she offers.

She has been told that she is a reasonably good teacher. Owen's fiancée had never been on the ice before she met her, and she is a reasonably good ice-skater now. So if Lily can do it, than why can't Tony? She knows that he has a good sense of balance, because that has shown in their cases. He should be able to learn pretty fast.

"Forget it," he says, heading towards the side. "I'll just watch you."

There is no way that he is getting rid of her that easily. He promised to go ice-skating with her, and that is what he is going to do. She will get him to do it.

"Party pooper," she calls him.

"Very dignified of you," he says in that sarcastic way he has.

He may try to insult her now, but this will eventually result in him actually trying to skate, and actually succeeding as well. At least, eventually she is going to get through to him, and knowing him, it is not going to be that long.

"Coming from the most immature one in the team," she mocks him.

"Fine," he agrees. "Try to teach me. Don't blame me if you fall as well."

Falling does not mean that much to her anymore, not after the falls she has already experienced. Her backside has hit the ice so many times that one or two more times would not matter that much anymore. She can teach him alright.

"I think I'll live," she teases. "Come on, DiNozzo."

With her arms extended, she reaches out for him, feeling irrational feelings of warmth when he grabs her hands. She is now ready to slowly start skating backwards, getting him into the right position to slowly start skating. And if he cannot do that, he can at least learn how to glide along with her. But she thinks he can do it.

"Remember that I warned you," he speaks with an unsure look.

While rolling her eyes at him, she starts skating backwards. She trusts him to warn her if she is about to hit someone, so she can focus on getting him to skate on his own.

"See, it's not that bad," she tells him.

"That's what you say now," he seems unsure of her words.

Since he is getting better at skating by the second, she is not sure why he was so hesitant to get on the ice in the first place. It probably has something to do with his masculine ego, and not wanting to embarrass himself in front of her.

"Just a few tiny steps at a time," she coaches him.

"Whoah," he says as he almost slips. "I'm good, I'm good."

There is no way she can hold in the laughter now. There is just something almost cute about seeing him stumbling across the ice, trying not to fall while at the same time keeping a hold of her hands. Not that she would ever even think of telling him that he looked almost cute doing that. It would be bad for his ego.

"I should have brought a camera," she says, laughing.

"Of course, permanent humiliation," he replies, rolling his eyes.

She imagines taking a picture of him looking like an idiot on the ice, enlarging it to a reasonable poster size and sticking it somewhere where the whole team can see it. She would imagine that Abby and McGee would enjoy it. And Gibbs too, of course.

"At least I would have something to blackmail you with," she shoots back.

The last time she was blackmailing him, she had Abby Photoshop him into a picture, but if she had a camera with her now, she would have something real. That is always so much better than something that was manipulated with a computer. Even though the manipulated picture still worked well enough in embarrassing him.

"I still have that picture of you in Panama City," he then admits.

"I knew it," she yells, waving her arms around for emphasis.

Of course he would still have a picture of that, she couldn't even imagine him actually getting rid of it. She waves her arms in frustration. But of course, when waving one's arms around, one has to let go of their skating-impaired coworker.

"Kate," he yelps in a manly way.

Apparently he is not comfortable without her helping him, because he immediately makes a grab for her arms again. The only problem is that he overcompensates and falls backwards, and because he has grabbed her arms, she falls as well. And of course, she falls right on top of him. She closes her eyes, seriously uncomfortable.

"Are you okay," she asks, peeking through one eye.

"I'll be pretty sore tomorrow," he speaks.

The words are accompanied by a lascivious leer and a wink. One of those typical DiNozzo traits that annoy her so much, the flirting that goes along with all of his comments. She rolls her eyes at him and his dirty mind.

"Aren't you cold," she questions him, grinning.

"Not as cold as you will be if you don't get off me," he grins back at her.

Even if he is threatening to turn things around on her, the whole exchange is spoken with smiles on both of their faces. She is still grinning as she gracefully gets up from the rather uncomfortable position she was in, on top of him. She then helps him to get up as well, because he could use some help with those wobbly legs of his.

"Ready to try again," she happily asks him.

"I never knew you were such a masochist," he responds, leering yet again.

Honestly he is the worst gutter-mind she knows, and it seems to be contagious, because she finds her own mind in the gutter more and more often these days. In the meantime, he has started holding on to her hands again, causing pleasant tingles to spread.

"Only you could make ice-skating into something kinky," she shakes her head.

"Because I'm special," he replies with a grin.

She remembers the time when a comment like that would have made her want to chuck a paperclip at his head, or preferably something even bigger. Now all it does is make her grin, no matter the face she puts on for her own benefit. There is no telling what he would say or do if he caught her actually being amused by all of it.

"Try it on your own," she says for that exact reason.

Even though she softly pushes him away from her, she tries to stay close to him, just in case she needs to catch him before he makes a total fool out of himself. She stays just out of reach, so that he won't try to take her down again. She smiles as she twirls.

"I'll take you down with me, you know," he threatens.

That is, if he ever gets close enough to reach her. She knows that she is a lot faster than he is, so if he even tries to pull her down on purpose, she will be out of reach before he even hits the ice. He should also know that one by now.

"Come on, where is that DiNozzo spirit," she taunts him even more.

"I am going to kill you," he tells her, an annoyed look on his face.

That is just an empty threat and they both know it. So she decides to get him even more riled up, just for the fun of it. He is so easy to bait sometimes.

"If you can catch me," she yells out, out of his reach.

His ego will not be able to withstand that challenge, and she is ready to skate away as fast as she can the second he responds to it. In the meantime, she is just standing on the ice, taunting him, just waiting for him to come after her.

"Is that a challenge I hear," he replies, grinning.

When he starts clumsily skating towards her, she takes off as fast as she can, gaining so much on him that she has no choice but to slow down. Chasing each other is not going to be any fun if she is over a lap ahead of him. There has to be some excitement in the challenge. He has to at least get close to actually catching her.

"You'll never catch me at that speed," she calls out over her shoulder.

Looking back at him, she notices he is not doing as bad as she expected. He is slowly but surely catching up with her, she notes with some amusement. She is holding back a little though, but he does not know that. And she won't let him know.

"Just you wait, Katie dear," he threatens her.

"Hurry up then, Anthony love," she continues to challenge him.

The nickname catches him off guard again, so he stumbles just a little before skating off just a bit faster than he was before the almost fall. In some weird way she is proud of him, proud of the way he is making progress with every minute he spends on the ice. Who knows, maybe she can stop holding back soon.

"I'll get you," he promises her with a grin.

"And my little dog too," she asks with an amused smile.

The second he gets that reference, he starts grinning back at her, just because the idea is so completely absurd in this situation. They are almost sharing a moment.

"I didn't call you my pretty," he replies.

Just the thought of that is so completely ridiculous that her laughter rises to the level of being embarrassing. She has not laughed like that in a while, and it feels absolutely wonderful. She just has not had many reasons to laugh for a while.

"That would make it infinitely more disturbing," she says, laughing madly.

When she was busy laughing so hard it caused her to get tears in her eyes, he was already catching up to her. His speed has improved so much that she did not even have the time to see him coming before he reached out for her. He actually won!

"Caught you," he says, while holding his arms around her.

This should be way more awkward than it actually is. It is actually kind of comfortable, but maybe that is just the obvious lack of a male in her life talking.

"Not for long, Anthony love," she promises him.

Maybe after she has a few brief moments of comfort she can push him away, without it resulting in the both of them lying on top of each other again, of course. Because that is something that is not going to happen ever again. Because she is definitely erasing that moment from her memory, like in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.

"Are you going to try something, Katie dear," he winks at her.

"Are you going to try something," she retaliates.

Really, if he thinks that she is the one who is going to try something in the way that he is referring to, then he is not as clever as she thinks he is. Not that he is that clever in the first place, but they both know he would be the first to try something.

"Me," Tony responds innocently. "I would never."

A snort escapes her lips because he doesn't even believe that one himself. And because the sound is kind of embarrassing, he just has to smirk at her. Typical DiNozzo.

"If anyone would try something," she retorts, "it would be you, Tony."

Tony would be the king of trying something, and she would be the unfortunate victim of his Royal Highness. If she would try something on him, it would most definitely not be something like the things he is thinking of. No way.

"Would not," he says, like a five-year-old.

"Would too," is her response.

"Would not," he keeps the argument going, equally childish.

Just when she is really starting to get into one of their typical childish fights, her phone starts ringing. She already knows who is calling her, and immediately disentangles herself from Tony's arms, because speaking to their boss when in his arms is something that is just too awkward to put in words. She is not going to try it.

"Kate Todd," she speaks, trying to sound professional.

"Why isn't DiNozzo answering his phone," Gibbs immediately barks at her.

It is nice to talk to you too, Gibbs. Yes, she has something to do on a Friday night. Can't he at least apologize for interrupting something? Or not really something, because there can't have been a something between her and DiNozzo. Subject change.

"Do we have a case," she asks.

Of course, DiNozzo immediately pipes up at the word "case." He must understand that she is speaking to Gibbs, because he creates even more distance between the two of them, which would mean he understands how awkward this is.

"Not if DiNozzo doesn't get his ass over here soon," Gibbs answers, annoyed as usual.

"I'll see if I can get his ass," she starts, and Tony laughs, "over there ASAP."

She glares at her coworker who is stupid enough to laugh loud enough for Gibbs to hear, and about another comment on his ass too. He is entirely too fixated on that.

"Put DiNozzo on the phone," her boss orders.

"What," she pretends to be oblivious. "Gibbs?"

That will only work for a limited amount of time, and she knows it, so she glares at Tony again because he just had to be an idiot again, as usual. She was actually having a good - maybe even great - time before the call came, and now Gibbs will know that they were spending time together outside of work. She is so doomed, they both are.

"I know he's there," Gibbs speaks. "Put him on the phone."

She knows there is a defeated look on her face, and she cannot help it. They probably have a case, and the entire atmosphere is ruined anyway. They were actually getting along without having to pretend too much, and that was an interesting experience.

"DiNozzo," Tony says after she hands him the phone.

"What could you possibly be doing that you can't get away from long enough to pick up the phone," she can hear Gibbs on the speakerphone.

There may be a head slap in Tony's near future, judging by the tone of Gibbs' voice, which signalizes one of his particularly bad moods. Maybe McGee accidentally dropped his coffee again. That would just signify a complete disaster.

"But my phone was on the whole time," Tony replies with a confused look.

That just does not add up, so she skates a little circle until she is standing behind Tony and finds herself looking at a definite bump in his back pocket, which would mean he has his phone with him. She carefully gets it out of the pocket and immediately notices that it is broken, and probably cannot be repaired. It must have been the fall.

"You broke it," she whispers, just so Gibbs won't hear it.

"Sorry boss," Tony tells their boss. "Phone had a little accident."

Actually, Tony had a little accident and the phone was an innocent bystander, she wants to say, but she does not think Gibbs will particularly appreciate that anecdote, especially since he already seems to be in a bad enough mood. They shouldn't make it worse.

"You and Kate get your asses over here ASAP," Gibbs orders.

"Got it boss," Tony replies.

And with that, Tony hangs up and gives her phone back to her, making everything that much more awkward. Gibbs has effectively ruined the mood, and there seems to be nothing left to say anymore, which is just a bad ending to the date. Or actually, the not-so-date, which is what she prefers to call it. It is all just a ruse.

"Guess we have a case," Tony says, looking almost sad.

He is usually much more enthusiastic when they get a case, particularly when the case gets him out of a seminar of some kind. She can still remember the time with the sexual harassment seminar they never actually had to go to, fortunately. She cannot even imagine the level of awkwardness on going to that seminar with Tony and Gibbs.

"Here's your phone back," she says, offering him the wrecked phone.

"Thanks Kate," he responds as he takes it from her.

The mere sight of the phone makes her want to grin and never talk to him again at the same time, just by the memory that keeps coming back to her, the memory of the position they were in when that phone broke. The memory she is currently repressing.

"I'm not sure what it's still worth," she blurts out.

Not all that much, she guesses, but maybe he can still get his contacts out of the thing that looks as if it has really seen better days. It is pretty messed up, though.

"At least I have proof to show to Gibbs," Tony tries to see a positive side.

"He still won't believe you," she assures him.

She is still not sure what Gibbs will make out of the fact that they were together when he called them, but she is probably going to find out about that soon. As in, the minute she steps into the bullpen with Tony. Because they will have to share a car.

"It will still be funny," Tony is convinced.

"Incorrigible," she calls him, grinning the entire time.

They have to leave the rink now, and she just needs to make a couple of twirls before they go. So she skates off as fast as she can, executes a perfect little jump and then skates back to Tony, who is looking pretty impressed. She grins triumphantly.

Oh yeah, she has still got it.

AN: I love it when real life inspires. Now I wish my experience was different. Grin.


	5. Charmingly Sore

-1**Chapter five: Charmingly sore**

Summary: Tony is sore. Insinuation ensues.

Disclaimer: Don't own. Big surprise there.

AN: Ice-skating aftermath. And me being gutter-minded.

When she arrives at work the morning after their trip to the ice-skating rink, Tony is already sitting at his desk, looking seriously uncomfortable for some reason. She cannot help but be amused at that, so she walks to his desk. She rests her hands on it and grins at him innocently, just waiting for him to notice her arrival.

"Caitlin Todd," Tony calls out, obviously annoyed.

Not just Tony has noticed her arrival, but McGee and Ziva are also alerted. Gibbs is not in the bullpen at the moment, probably flirting with the Director somewhere or discussing something down in the lab or in Autopsy with Ducky and Palmer.

"Yes, Tony dear," she asks, trying to sound as innocent as possible.

The looks on the faces of McGee and Ziva are just priceless. They already looked confused when Tony addressed her in that particular way, but now that she addressed him as her dear, McGee's eyebrows seem to be hitting the roof. Even Ziva, who has been trained not to show surprise, seems to be surprised at this.

"I am so sore," Tony complains.

If she thought that McGee's eyebrows had hit the roof before this, they are somewhere in the stratosphere now. It is obvious to everyone what he is thinking, and she really wants to tell him that it is absolutely ridiculous, but she cannot seem to figure out a way to tell him without arousing suspicions about the not-so-date they had.

"Did you spend all night gonging the bang," Ziva asks.

"Banging the gong," Tony corrects her, "and no."

She is really starting to dread what will come after this. Of course her name is going to be tied to Tony's mysterious activities, and that will lead to insinuations about their private lives, and she still cannot speak up about their plan, because that will lead to even more insinuations about something going on between the two of them.

"What does Kate have to do with this," McGee seems afraid to ask.

McGee should not be asking that, unless he particularly wants to hear one of Tony's incredibly X-rated insinuations. He should really know that by now, but every once in a while he slips up. And that results in some really embarrassing moments.

"Well, Probie," Tony tries to start something embarrassing.

"Oh, I get it," Ziva calls out. "You and Kate-"

Did someone mention embarrassment? Or insinuation maybe? Somebody has got to stop this before it starts a rumor about some sort of involvement between her and Tony, and that would be seriously annoying. She has always despised being the object of gossip, and she would particularly despise having her name linked to Tony's.

"Tony went ice-skating yesterday," she interrupts the madness.

"Really," McGee asks in disbelief.

Okay, so that does not sound probable. Sometimes the truth sounds even crazier than your strangest fantasies. She has experienced some seriously strange cases over the years.

"I broke my phone when I fell," Tony replies.

Of course he just has to look at her while saying that, further incriminating her. She is starting to think that she is not walking away from this one unscathed. It will probably come out anyway, but she doesn't want to start the whole thing.

"Hey, don't look at me," she blurts out. "You fell, not me."

And then the whole thing is out. Just because she could not keep her mouth shut when they are insinuating about a relationship between her and someone who should just be another coworker. She has always been sensitive about Tony, but this stuff is seriously starting to take the cake. Maybe Addison's comments are getting to her.

"I had fun dragging you down with me," Tony says with a smirk.

"Of course you would," she scoffs.

Tony did enjoy dragging her down, she knows that much. The position they landed in was like something out of a chick flick. Of course he would like that.

"You went ice-skating together," McGee asks, surprised.

It would not sound logical at all, especially not to their coworkers, that she and Tony are spending time together outside of work. They fight together all the time, and that is just when they are forced to spend time together because of their work. Other people cannot even imagine them voluntarily spending more time together. She wonders about that as well, wonders what possessed her to agree to his plan.

"This is your fault, DiNozzo," she speaks, annoyed again.

"You fell on top of me," is Tony's reply.

She remembers that part, unfortunately. She wishes that she could forget it, wishes that she could repress the memory of lying on top of him. Because she cannot deal with that memory constantly being stuck in her head, as it is now.

"Because you dragged me down," she shoots back at him.

Another something that she desperately wants to repress, the memory of his hands on hers, something that was much more comfortable than she wanted it to be. And this is sounding suspiciously like a big case of denial, and that is something she really does not want to be connecting to Tony DiNozzo. It would be wrong.

"And the phone broke," McGee asks, skeptical.

"Tony's weight," she explains. "You need to work out DiNozzo."

Judging by the lascivious look in his eyes she has said something that he can turn into something completely wrong and twisted. But, knowing him, he can do that to just about anything she says. She thinks it has something to do with his ego.

"Have you been paying close attention to my body, Katie dear," he asks her.

Just to tease him, she takes a long, lingering look at him while grinning at him in her most flirtatious way. She knows it will cause him to choke on thin air again, something that always amuses her for some reason. So she flirts.

"You wish," she says, actually flirting.

"Oh, don't I," he responds with a flirty grin.

It is not until she sees the surprised look on McGee's face that she notices how severe the situation is, that she notices that she is openly flirting with Tony. She has to change the subject now or be faced with even more gossip about Tony and her.

"Your eating habits are really unhealthy, Tony," she changes the subject.

"Are you worried about me," he seems surprised. "I feel so loved."

She will have to remedy this later, and she knows it. Because she is not really concerned about him and his eating habits - well, maybe a little - and she was just trying to change the subject. His eating habits were the only subject at hand. He will probably think there is more to it than that, but he will be mistaken about that, as usual.

"Can't you take anything seriously," she asks with a groan.

That has to be a rhetorical question because Tony DiNozzo taking anything seriously is just plain laughable. He is so rarely actually serious about something.

"It's part of my charm," he responds.

"You," she scoffs, teasing him as usual. "Charm?"

Even though she knows - but will never publicly admit - that he can be really charming at times she just cannot let this opportunity go to waste. He would do exactly the same if it had been him. It is just the way they work, constantly insulting or teasing. It is the way they always used to work before all the confusion came into play.

"I have more charm than Gibbs," Tony speaks up.

And in Gibbs' usual style of excellent timing, he is walking into the bullpen right that moment, just in time to slap Tony on the back of the head. She hides a grin.

"Ouch," Tony exclaims, realizing what happened. "Sorry boss."

Everyone is now waiting for Gibbs to give his opinion on the discussion, because that is what always happens when he finds them discussing some personal issues during work hours. She knows that it is bound to be humorous this time.

"Can we get back to work instead of debating DiNozzo's non-existent charm," he asks.

"Right," McGee immediately goes back to his desk.

That is the signal for everyone else to go back to work as well. She realizes she is still standing near Tony's desk, snaps out of her weird funk and goes back to her own desk, where she finds a large pile of paperwork waiting for her, unfortunately.

The obnoxious orange of an IM is blinking at her, and she just knows that Tony has some kind of strange idea that he is going to drag her into. Oh goody, again.

_OutrageouslySexy: Katie!_

Of course that would be DiNozzo. Who else could it be? Let her rephrase that: who else would have such a ridiculous nickname? It can only be Tony.

_CaitlinT: That's a ridiculous name. _

Someone has to tell him that, and someone has to seriously deflate his ego. And she is probably exactly the right person for that job. Too many people are either scared of him, intimidated by him, or drooling all over him, and she will do neither of those.

_OutrageouslySexy: You remember, right?_

_CaitlinT: I have tried to repress it, actually_.

Somehow he always has to comment on having seen her in the shower, whatever the circumstances may be. That is one of the reasons she has never let him meet with anyone she is seeing, because he will tell stories that are embarrassing and make it seem like there has been something going on between the two of them.

_OutrageouslySexy: I'm going to get my revenge on you for the skating. _

_CaitlinT: Why don't I believe that? (My pretty?)_

The comment just makes her think of his comment about getting her, and that only serves to make her laugh, no matter how she tries to mask it with a cough. Gibbs must notice, especially because he starts laughing as well when he reads the message.

"DiNozzo, stop sending those messages to Kate," Gibbs orders.

She knew their boss would find out soon, because it was just that obvious. She starts laughing, she types something, and when she stops typing Tony starts laughing. Even McGee - not to say anything bad, of course - must have noticed.

"Boss, I wasn't," Tony starts to defend himself.

"Save it and get back to work," Gibbs barks at him.

While looking around the bullpen, she sees that her colleagues are all trying to hide their laughter from the boss. Both McGee and Ziva are hiding their laughter. Even Tony is still grinning widely, even though he has just been scolded. Everyone seems to be in a pretty good mood today, and that is good, since it is a Saturday morning.

"Yeah, DiNozzo," she mocks Tony. "Stop bothering me."

It is the childish thing to do, but she seems to getting more and more childish under his - bad? - influence. He always seems to bring out her childish side, and somehow that is not necessarily a bad thing. She needs that every once in a while, to be more playful.

"Was I getting you bothered, Katie," he asks in response, leering.

And sometimes he is just plain obnoxious and irritating. Like when he is making those sexist comments that just make her want to smack him. She knows he does not react to all women that way, he never flirts with Ziva the way he flirts with her. And that is both comforting and very unsettling at the same time.

"Do you want something thrown at your head," she asks him.

"Not particularly," he answers. "Not that you'll actually aim right."

He did not just say that, he did not just insult her skills. He knows that she works real well with targets, because he has been that target more than once. He should know that he can really expect something to hit his head sometime soon.

"Is that a challenge," she challenges him.

They do their best work when they are trying to outdo one another. She just becomes a little bit more motivated, and he just becomes a little more dedicated to whatever he is doing. It is why they work better when they're together.

"How about you both shut up," Gibbs asks them.

Only he is not really asking them to shut up, he is ordering them to. He never really asks them, he just orders. She has only heard him say please once.

"Sorry, boss," Tony responds.

"I'm sorry, Gibbs," she speaks at the same time.

They would have shared a smile if they had not been arguing previously, she just knows it. Now they just share a mutual glare before they try to get back to work. Before Gibbs starts throwing things as well. And he has excellent aim.

"Are they always like this, special agent McGee," Ziva wonders.

"Tim," McGee corrects her. "And yes, they are."

Geez, McGee, glad to see that you like the two of them that much. Of course, there is a core truth to his words, because Tony and her always tend to behave in this particular way when they are around each other. That makes it extra strange when they are civil or flirty with one another, like they were before the boss stepped in.

"It must be exhausting," Ziva says.

"Oh, it is," Gibbs enters into the conversation.

Everyone immediately gets back to work, not wanting to risk the wrath of Gibbs. Of course, everyone does not include Tony, because the annoying orange blinking is back as a feature on her computer screen. He can never let things go.

_OutrageouslySexy: I have a plan. _

Another one of his completely insane plans? She can hardly wait to see how this one is going to pan out for her. Only not, because it will probably be bad.

_CaitlinT: Revenge?_

_OutrageouslySexy: Yes._

She thinks that he should have been able to deal with that one fall if it was his first time on the ice. She should be the one taking revenge on him for making her fall on top of him, something she is still not particularly happy about.

_CaitlinT: I'm very excited. _

She makes it a point of rolling her eyes at him when he looks at her after receiving her message. She is in no way really excited about his idea of revenge, because that is just bound to end badly for her, and maybe also for him.

_OutrageouslySexy: I can sense the sarcasm._

No shit Sherlock. Of course he should be able to sense the sarcasm when she is pointedly glaring at him, while at the same time also trying to get some paperwork done.

_CaitlinT: That's because I'm glaring at you. _

_OutrageouslySexy: Tonight. After work. Wear a skirt. _

A skirt? What kind of things could he think of that involve her wearing a skirt? She actually does not even want to consider most of these ideas, because they are bound to be wrong and sexist. Probably things she does not want to do.

_CaitlinT: In your dreams._

_OutrageouslySexy: All the time._

Another particularly sexist comment. He really seems to be on a roll today. Maybe he is making up for being reasonably nice to her the day before. Why does he always have to be such an ass? Can't he just let himself be a good person?

_CaitlinT: You're disgusting, DiNozzo. _

This is just another piece to the puzzle that is Anthony DiNozzo. These constant rude comments seem to be a way to hide a kind heart. It's something he will never admit to, but something true nonetheless. He is a good person deep down.

"DiNozzo," Gibbs yells. "What did I tell you?"

"Sorry boss," Tony apologizes yet again.

Oh, he is so busted. Somehow he always seems to be the one being busted for something they were both doing, and somehow he doesn't particularly seem to care.

_CaitlinT: Busted!_

_CaitlinT: I'll be there. No guarantees on the skirt. _

That comment gets the typical response, a smug grin. She knows him well enough to know that he is now picturing her in some sort of short skirt, or a sexy dress, maybe even with no dress at all. She resists the urge to roll her eyes at him.

_OutrageouslySexy: Tease. _

_CaitlinT: Me? Never. _

She smiles at him innocently when he groans. She closes off the screen for their conversation and gets back to work, but not before catching one of his famous shit-eating grins. He got her just where he wants her, and he knows it. But of course, she will figure something out to get him back. She always has something up her sleeve.

AN: See, I updated! No reminding necessary… LOL


	6. Vengeance Dancing

-1**Chapter six: Vengeance dancing **

Summary: Tony has a strange idea of revenge.

Disclaimer: There'd be more of this if I owned it.

AN: Re-watched Minimum Security. Tony dances. (And Tony's naked… Visual)

That night she finds herself waiting for him to pick her up, wearing one of her favorite dresses. The pale purple material clings to her skin from its thin straps to about the middle of her thighs, where it widens into a skirt that can wave around prettily when she twirls. The flowery figures on it give it an even more feminine look. She looks pretty, and she even feels it. All for Tony, and that is why she is so jittery.

Maybe he was all just looking to make a fool out of her. Maybe he just wanted her to get really dressed up so he can ogle her, laugh at her, and then order her to change. Maybe that is his twisted idea of revenge, seeing what she will do for him.

When the doorbell rings, she almost jumps up in shock. She is still trying to put on a thin silver necklace her mother once gave her for her birthday when he pushes the doorbell again, sounding impatient. Her fingers become just a little less steady, until she finally manages to put the frail necklace on. She adjusts the straps of her dress.

"I'll be right there," she calls out.

She smoothes her dress one last time, her fingers tangling in the thin fabric of the skirt, but still denying the possibility of nervousness. Because there is just no way that she is nervous for something that is in no way a date, nervous because of him.

While turning off the lights in her apartment, her eyes run over a picture of her and a couple of her nieces and nephews. She reminds herself that she really has to call some of them soon, because she has not seen most of them in months, since they live a little to far away to just drop by when she has the time. She misses them.

"Hello Tony," she says when she finally opens the door.

Turning around to close the door behind her, with her handbag in hand, she almost misses the look on his face. It is a look of incredulity and awe, open amazement at the way she looks. Of course, until it changes to one of his typical leers.

"Katie, Katie, Katie," he starts up. "You look hot!"

He would say something like that, instead of genuinely complimenting her. She just has to accept that this is his way of complimenting her. There is a small pang in her stomach that makes her feel like an idiot for dressing up like she did. But she has not been on something remotely similar to a date in a while now, and she wanted to.

"Where are you taking me," she asks him.

It is difficult actually getting his attention somewhere else than the almost see-through parts of her dress. Not on any particularly revealing parts of her anatomy of course, but her legs are neatly displayed, something he immediately notices, of course.

"That's a secret, Katie dear," he responds. "Nice dress."

Of course he would evade talking about the actual plans for the evening, but at least he is making some sort of appreciative comment about her dress. She would have expected a perverted comment about her legs instead of something that can actually be considered a sweet thing to say. She is really pleasantly surprised.

So she takes his arm when he offers it, after making sure she has locked her apartment door. He leads her out of the hall, grinning proudly at one of her neighbors.

"Where are we going," she rephrases her question.

No reply of any kind, of course. She is starting to get the whole revenge part of the evening now, keeping her waiting until she cracks from the pressure. At least she was upfront about what she wanted to do with him. That just sounds wrong.

They get into his car in silence, excluding the moment when he opens the door for her and she thanks him. It is just plain awkward and uncomfortable.

"If you're going to blindfold me, I'll kill you," she speaks when the car stops.

His laughter is the only response to that, and she has no choice but to actually look at him this time, something she has been desperately trying to avoid since the moment she opened the door. He looks very - nice. Could she be any lamer?

"No blindfolds unless you're into that sort of thing," he teases her.

Now normally she would just look at him in disgust. She does not know what is so different this time, but the images in her head have absolutely nothing to do with disgust, only with her and Tony and blindfolds and all kinds of things she should not be thinking about in the first place. This is all just so wrong.

"Where are we going," she asks him yet again.

Again, there is no reply. They both get out of his car in silence, something that is just making her more nervous about the whole thing. She is still considering telling him this whole thing was a mistake, just so she can go home and relax.

He is still silent, but he takes her hand, leading her somewhere. And she lets him, because she needs to believe that this is all going to be worth it somehow, that it will turn out to be a great evening. She has the feeling that it cannot be all that bad, because he is not that much of a sadist. And if it is, she might have to hurt him, and she does not want to ruin her beautiful dress doing that. So the evening had better be nice.

When they walk into an unfamiliar building, she can feel butterflies doing cartwheels in her stomach. Everything looks fancy, so at least she is dressed to the occasion, but she is still not completely comfortable. Until he leads her into a large room.

"This is your idea of revenge," she asks him.

They are standing at the side of a large dance floor that is already partly filled with couples. Most of the women are wearing dresses that are ten times as expensive as hers, and all the men are wearing suits like Tony's. Only, most of the men are not looking nearly as handsome as him, but that will be her little secret for the night.

"It's my idea of fun," he corrects her.

Of course it would be. This just makes no sense at all. Tony has never shown any particular interest in dancing, and she has never seen him dance. She remembers Paula Cassidy talking about dancing with him in the bar in Cuba, but there has been no connection between Tony and dancing otherwise.

"You want to see me trip over my own feet," everything is suddenly clear.

"It would be a bonus," he answers. "I would get to catch you."

That comment is accompanied by one of his typical leers, something she has to reply to with an annoyed glare. It just makes her more determined not to give him a chance to catch her, or to get them in another typically awkward position.

"Too bad, because I'm not planning on falling," she speaks to him.

He does not know it, but she has danced many times before. It is another one of her more mother-approved activities. He is going to be surprised if he had hoped she had never really done this before, if he had hoped she would fall on her face.

"Are you experienced, Katie," he asks her with another leer.

"Why is everything XXX with you," she responds with a question.

He is easily the most gutter-minded person she knows. He can make just about anything dirty, probably even something classic and timeless like Shakespeare's Hamlet.

"I could help you find out," is his reply.

Now that is something she really does not want to be thinking about. She notices the couples around them staring at them, and she is not quite sure that they are curious about what they are doing, or just leering inappropriately. A lot of the women seem to be undressing Tony with their eyes, and she does not want to know about that.

"I could kick your ass for even saying this," she speaks.

"You could," he says. "But you won't."

How can he really be sure that she will not kick his ass for using that blatant sexual innuendo on her? That's right, he cannot be one hundred percent sure.

"What makes you think that," she wonders.

She is wondering what signs she is sending off that make him think she will not kick his ass. Or maybe she has just been threatening too much. She has not taken action in a while now, and maybe he has picked up on that. She isn't going soft on him, right?

"The DiNozzo charm," is the proud response.

"I'll ignore that," she says, rolling her eyes.

That is what she always tends to do, ignore his comments about his supposed charm, and the girls who are attracted to that charm. She pretends not to hear about his sexual prowess. And that is what she will keep doing. What is the alternative? Ask him for details of his dates? Now that would be hilarious, but stupid.

"Do you want to dance," he asks, holding out his hand.

"I thought you'd never ask," she responds, obviously being sarcastic.

Honestly, she does want to dance with him, but sounding eager would be bad. She just wants to see if he is a good dancer, and it has nothing to do with an experiment she wants to try. She wants to see if it will feel the same as being on top of him. Because it would be the same thing, only they would be vertical instead of horizontal.

"Katie don't get too excited on me," he teases her. "On the other hand-"

Because the horizontal thing, that is never going to happen. Not even something like that fall on the ice the day before. Was that really only yesterday? It seems like lifetimes ago now, and at the same time, it feels like it just happened.

"Just get to the dancing already," she replies.

"I never pegged you as the quickie kind," he provokes her again.

Now she is seriously never getting horizontal with him. Not that she was ever planning to do that sort of thing with him, but his continuous allusions to sexual things are driving her absolutely crazy. She has to remember these things when she feels herself going soft on him. She has to remember how honestly annoying he can be.

"I could kill you," she threatens. "And if Abby helps me, I wouldn't leave evidence."

That threat always seems to work on him. Maybe the idea of her working together with Abby is just that terrifying. She knows it is just a threat, and so does he, but something like this will make him shut up every single time.

"Sorry, Kate," he immediately apologizes.

Wait a second? Did she hear that right? Did he just apologize to her? He never did that before, he never really apologized to her. Well, besides sending her those flowers after he was particularly disrespectful of her personal boundaries.

"Did you just apologize," she asks him, wanting to know if she heard it correctly.

"Don't make a big deal out of it," he seems to be ashamed.

Why is he continually trying to be seen as a bad person? He always seems to hide the good things he does or says, and always seems to accentuate the bad or horribly sexist things that come out of his mouth. There has to be a reason for that.

"It's okay," she assures him. "So, do you still want to dance?"

For some reason she is still looking forward to dancing with him, and that idea makes her look down at the floor, trying to make it seem as if she is adjusting her dress. She is nervous about the whole thing, especially because it seems to have the atmosphere of a genuine date, and that is making her seriously uncomfortable.

"Of course," he responds with a grin. "Have to show off my moves."

His moves. Right. Not making this any more awkward than it already is. No, not awkward at all. Maybe they should just get on the dance floor and stop talking.

"You would, Tony, you would," she says with a grin.

"Show me your moves, then," he challenges her.

Oh, she has moves alright, and she will show them to him. He pulls her onto the floor, and she recognizes the awkwardness that comes with trying to decide where to put your hands. On the waist, around the neck. It is difficult to decide, because neither one of them wants to send out the wrong message to the other, but they also do not want to be outdone by the other person. She does not want to look like a complete prude.

She really does not want to look like a couple slow dancing for the first time, so she clasps her right hand in his as if they are ballroom dancing. She puts her left hand on his shoulder, while his right hand finds its place on her lower back.

"This is all such a cliché," she speaks as they waltz.

The dance reminds her of this television show that used to be on TV, one with a male lead that was a scruffier version of Tony. Maybe that was the reason for some of her weak moments, moments where she admitted that Tony does not look half bad. Maybe he just reminds her of that actor she used to like watching.

"Oh come on Katie, it's fun," he says, undoubtedly grinning.

"I bet your psycho stalker thinks so," she retorts.

With the reminder of his stalker, she finds herself holding him just a tad closer, wondering if the aforementioned stalker is actually present now. That is definitely something to make her get into the part of the doting girlfriend again. She plasters a fake smile on her face as she gets as close to him as she can without being indecent.

"The point is that she doesn't like this," he responds as if talking to a small child.

"Oh, I forgot," she says in her most sarcastic tone of voice.

It is so terribly annoying when he is being patronizing, especially when she has to pretend to like him for his darn stalker. If there was no stalker, he would be in pain right now.

"Of course you did," he roll his eyes at her.

That just makes her want to hurt him even more, but she resists the impulse until he suddenly dips her. Not only is it completely inappropriate with the slow music they are currently dancing to, but it is also completely - outrageous.

"Why did you do that," she asks him.

Secretly, him dipping her like they are in some kind of old movie makes her want to grin, but because it is him everything is just an extra grade of weird. She really despises being so uncomfortable around him, and she desperately wants to go back to the way things were before they went on weird pseudo-dates and hung out outside of work.

"Do I need to have a reason," he asks in response.

"Never mind," she sighs. "I'll just be quiet."

And for a while, everything seems perfect. She is perfectly content right where she is, and she forces her thoughts away so that it can stay that way. She does not want to ruin this crazy moment by over-thinking everything he says or does.

She does not recognize the slow song that is playing, and she does not particularly care about what song it is. All she knows, and all that she wants to know, is that it is a nice song to dance to in Tony's arms. That is all there is to it, and if she starts wondering about all kinds of things it will just ruin this moment of insanity.

"Did you say something about a cliché," Tony breaks the silence.

"This is just so wrong," she responds, still smiling.

His words allowed the thoughts back into her head, the thoughts that make her wonder what the heck she is doing with him on something that feels more and more like a real date instead of a ruse. She wants to be rid of those thoughts and just enjoy a moment with a man, wants to disregard who he is and how this should not be happening.

"Come on Katie," he seems to challenge her.

"You're challenging me," she states the obvious.

He does not seem to want to end this moment either, and that is actually kind of nice. She reluctantly has to admit that dancing with him is really nice.

"How else will I get you to dance with me," he teases.

"I already am, remember," she mocks him with a grin.

This is getting close to their usual banter, only with a much more pleasant edge to it, and that almost makes her feel comfortable again. She likes bantering with him, and she knows that he likes it too. It is just such a big part of how they deal with each other, a day without the two of them bantering would just seem oddly dull.

"Just keeping you right where you are," he says, seemingly content.

She simply has to snicker at that because it is one of the corniest things she has ever heard, and she did not expect something like that from him. It is more sweet than perverted and it is not necessarily a movie quote. A pleasant surprise.

"Talking about corny, DiNozzo," she snickers.

"Cheesy is what I do best," he grins at her.

He may have a point with that one. Knowing about his tendency to use lines and ideas from movies, probably often from chick flicks, he would be cheesy. She imagines him as the one for heart-shaped balloons and bears that say "I wuv you beary much." He would use a trail of rose petals, because he saw it in a movie. Typical DiNozzo.

"I thought funny was what you did best," she replies.

"Oh right, that too," he remembers.

In some sort of twisted way, she is now actually admitting to finding him funny, which will probably shoot his ego through the roof. She has admitted something similar to nurse Emma ages ago, but she has never admitted it to his face before.

"I'm surprised you didn't get X-rated," she mocks him again.

Normally, he would have replied with some sort of X-rated comment about other things he is really good at as well. She is pleased that he did not try that this time, because she would have been forced to hit him or elbow him, and she finds she does not want to.

"I still could, if you want me to," he offers.

"No thank you, Tony," she responds.

She is still holding him, their hands are still connected. It is oddly comfortable, and she is completely fine with that. At least, for now.

Until she gets home and analyzes the heck out of this. That will probably be after the scrubbing her mind out with soap for even liking dancing with Tony. This is probably heading nowhere good.

AN: Aren't they all cute and stuff… Guess what's up next…


	7. Under The Covers

-1**Chapter seven: Under the Covers**

Summary: Tony and Kate, under the covers together. Sound good?

Disclaimer: I don't own. If I did, Kate would be under the covers with Tony.

AN: I know this has been done. But it's just a chapter. I really wanted to. And I promised to update tonight. Here it is Julia, you can get even more excited now.

By the time she has finished looking around the beautiful terrace, he has already found the big screen television. Honestly, he is much too predictable, and too easily distracted from the mission at hand. The latter is something she can use to her advantage.

She walks over to him, swaying her hips, smiling a smile that she would never dare to use in any other situation. The dress she is wearing makes her feel sexy enough to try to be a bit more daring than she usually is. She pulls him away from the TV and leads him towards the big bed she knows they will be using a lot over the next few days.

"I take it you're not interested in the channels," he speaks.

He is wearing that grin that belies that he is about to get some. He looks so eager to just get on with it - or just to get it on - and it is almost certainly infectious. He has been surprisingly happy about it all ever since he heard about it, and she is not particularly in the mood to ask his reasons for that. She does not mind it, though.

"Good guess," she breathes into his ear.

It is surprising how much of an effect she is having on him, and it is thrilling. And it is so much easier when she does not have to be Kate, when she can completely let go of her own insecurities and issues and disappear in Sophie Ranier, the woman who is married and loving it. The woman who is standing in front of her husband right now.

"Then what are you interested in," Jean-Paul asks her.

His fingers are running down her neck, and she knows that Sophie always loves it when her husband does that. She doesn't know how she knows, she just does.

"Take another guess," she flirts, delighting in the look on his face.

Sophie's husband then attaches his lips to hers, and breathing gets just a little bit harder while she delights in the feeling. She throws her arms around his neck, trying to get him even closer to her, while her arms start dropping to her waist. Her fingers fumble a bit while she tries to get rid of her dress, something she attributes to his kisses.

Her dress falls quietly to the floor as she struggles to get even closer to the husband she loves more than anything in this world. His shirt follows soon after her dress, and his pants follow soon after that, only breaking their kiss for minimal amounts of time.

Afterwards, when they lay on the bed, still breathing heavily from their earlier activities, she reaches out and turns on some music with the remote control the hotel provided.

"Do you think they bought it," she asks.

Now that no one will be able to listen to them anymore, she can drop the personality of Sophie and turn back into herself. She immediately hoists the covers up a bit further, not wanting her partner to see anymore of her than he already has.  
"I did," he speaks up, a grin on his face.  
"I got that," she replies, rolling her eyes at him.

Of course he got it, she played the part of the loving wife so well that she should just get an Oscar for it right now. Maybe after she gets dressed, but still. She almost jumped Tony DiNozzo. Everything is so much easier when they are Sophie and Jean-Paul, husband and wife, instead of being Kate and Tony, who are something undefined.  
"For your information, that's my knee," he explains.  
"I don't even want to know," she says. "Now get off me."

Right, now she can feel his knee. And it had better be his knee, otherwise he is seriously risking castration or other damage to his equipment when the mission is over. Only she won't do it, because she knows that he won't always be able to help it.  
"It's only been ten minutes," Tony then says. "I have a reputation to protect."

There is no way she is going to help him fake anything just to protect his ridiculously overestimated reputation. Who would even be watching in the first place? And she means someone who knows who he is and who could do damage to his reputation. There is no possibility of that at all, but she will probably have to humor him.  
"We're not even sure if we're under surveillance Tony," she argues.  
"You can't be too careful when you're undercover," Tony replies with a lascivious grin on his face. "Let's give it another forty minutes just to be realistic!"

Forty minutes of faking it with him? She really wishes he was kidding about this, but this means that she will have to fall back into the role of Sophie again. She is not completely comfortable with that yet, because everything is much too enjoyable when she is Sophie and that is not allowed between her and Tony at all.

"I am going to kill you when we get out of here," are Kate's last words.

Now she is back to being Sophie, the man across from her is looking much more attractive when she did when she was still Kate, because Kate would never think of talking about Tony as an attractive man. Sophie would talk about her husband like that.

"What, Katie," Tony asks innocently. "I have to prove my stamina."

Sophie loves giving Jean-Paul a chance to prove his stamina to her, because that is usually very enjoyable for her as well. So she lets him run his fingers through her fair, drawing her closer into him, getting ready for him to prove it to her. Sophie wraps her legs around her husband's waist while she leans in to kiss him.

That is when she feels it. Something is up, and she doubts it is a knee.

"Sweetie," Sophie says. "I don't think that's your knee."

The bashful expression on his face makes her draw back from the personality of Sophie and back into her own. She knows for sure that Jean-Paul would not be that upset about something like this, which makes her realize that she is in bed with Tony DiNozzo, instead of with Jean-Paul Ranier, her husband. And that is bad.

Making the difference between Sophie and her own personality is what is going to help her through this case, what is going to help her through going undercover as Tony's loving wife. Otherwise she would be going crazy right now.

"I can't help it," Tony comments with a sheepish grin.

"You'd better help it soon or I'll make you feel it," she threatens him.

To get the point through more easily, she lets one of her legs slip from its current position around his waist, and slowly positions it near a place that would hurt him.

"Understood," he says, realizing how vulnerable his position is.

A while later, after another round, she lies in bed with him, seemingly comfortably draped over him. Actually, she is comfortable in her current position, but there is no way that anyone else is ever going to find out about that.

"You know what I could really use right now," he asks her.

She does not particularly want to know about what he wants at the moment, so she prefers to keep her silence on the issue. But that is before she notices the smell of sweat that lingers in the entire suite. She knows they must have both been sweating with all the activities and the faking they did. She chooses to comment on it.

"Deodorant would be nice," she responds, wrinkling her nose.

"I was thinking a back massage," he replies to that.

In his undoubtedly X-rated dreams. She is not going to give him a back massage, only Sophie would definitely do it for Jean-Paul. She is stuck between the personalities now, and trying to make their cover believable for whoever is watching.

"Turn around, baby," she says in her huskiest voice.

He looks at her, obviously completely stunned. He was not expecting anything like this from her, unless the anything was a "Go to Hell", or something like that. Which she really should have said, because this is just completely ridiculous.

This is bound to end badly.

………………………………

This case is surely getting to the both of them. She almost shot him the night before when he dared to shake her awake, because she babbles in her sleep when she is nervous. As a revenge for trying to wake her, he got a bottle of water all over him the next morning, which made him stand up to full attention, wearing only his boxers.

And if things weren't already awkward enough between the two of them, they just found out that Sophie Ranier was pregnant when she was murdered. This just gives a whole other dimension to the assignment. She is now pretending to be a pregnant woman.

"What are you doing," she asks when she finds Tony looking at her.

He is looking at her in a curious way, rather than just leering at her in the way he usually does. She really hates to admit it, but she kind of likes this look. She cannot let him know about that, though, so she has to ask him what he is doing.

"I'm trying to picture you pregnant," he answers mockingly.

"Stop trying or I'll castrate you," she threatens him.

Actually, the castration threats are getting pretty repetitive by now. But why change a winning formula? The threats to his precious parts always work in getting him to do exactly what she wants him to do. Why should she think of anything else? Besides using the fact that he owes her big time because she is helping him with his plan.

"But I'm going to be a father," he teases her.

She cannot even picture Tony DiNozzo being a father. Maybe in the very distant future, where he can actually stay with a woman longer than a week. Maybe then he will be teaching his sons to play baseball, and he will grill his daughter's boyfriends on the porch before they even get to go in the house. Maybe she is romanticizing him.

"Do you know how sharp ice-skates are," she asks sweetly.

"I don't think I want to know," he responds. "Not in this context."

Getting off the subject of kids is a good thing, because there is no telling what will come out of her mouth when she relates that topic to him. Because of him, she has been getting more and more impulsive over the years, which comes with some stupid comments.

"That's a very wise decision," she mocks him.

Threatening him with the blades from her ice-skates was something that would sooner come out of Sophie's mouth than out of hers. Sure, she makes castration threats every once in a while, but she has never really been that specific before.

"I can really picture you as an assassin now," he teases with a grin.

"Hilarious," she deadpans.

Maybe, coming from him this is almost a compliment. Lately, she has been noticing that he is amused when she can manage a dangerous subject easily, or when she gets back at one of the subjects when a guy thinks she cannot handle it. He always just grins and lets her handle it on her own, something she particularly appreciates.

"You're very dangerous, Sophie," he gets back to the assassin personality.

Right, this means that they have to refocus on the actual assignment now. They have been talking about silly things for way too long already, and they have to focus on solving the case before something goes wrong. Like the way too obvious trap that the man who hired Sophie and Jean-Paul has set out for them. That is potentially dangerous.

"You do know this is probably a set-up, right," she asks.

"I know," he says as if they are discussing the weather.

Has he always been this flippant when it comes to his life, she wonders. The only case that is stuck in her mind at the moment is the SWAK-case, when he still referenced any movie he could while he was dying. But he apologized as well, so maybe that is not the best example anyway. It still intrigues her just a little bit.

This is going to end badly.

…………………………

Of course, their suspicion of it being a trap was proven right. They didn't even make it outside of the building before they were caught and their communication devices were rendered completely useless. They were caught and tied up together.

The thugs are asking questions they cannot answer, they are looking for answers they cannot give. Tony tries all kinds of things, but he just ends up getting beaten down time and time again. She winces every time she hears the sound of a hand or fist hitting his face. They are probably not getting out of here alive.

Their savior comes in the form of their last private moment, a moment given to them for the sole purpose of saying goodbye to each other, to decide what to do. She does not know what to do anymore, but she hopes Gibbs and McGee are on to them. Heck, even agent Fornell would be welcome right about now. They are that desperate.

"I might have a plan," Tony suddenly speaks up, his voice strained because of the beatings he endured. "The Raniers have something they want. You'll give it to them. Tell them it's in our room, and they need you to find it. McGee should be waiting."

That just might be one of the most idiotic things she has ever heard. Of course, she has the ability to bluff and get them to take her to that room, but she knows what they will do to him the minute she steps out of the room. They will kill him, slowly and painfully.

"No, Tony," she refuses. "I'm not leaving. They'll kill you."

She cannot lose him, she cannot lose him. If she just keeps repeating that, maybe that will actually make her believe that it will not happen. Who is she kidding?

"I never said the plan was perfect," he says in a particularly flippant tone.

"Not perfect,' she exclaims. "Crazy! I'm not letting you risk your life."

Not when there has to be a way that would enable the both of them to get out of that hotel alive and reasonably in one piece. She just cannot think of that way right now, cannot think of anything except for losing him. She has never been able to accept losing him, which was proven in that haunting SWAK-case. She still cannot accept it.

"Do I need to remind you of that time we spent in Bethesda together," he teases.

No, he does not have to remind her of their time in Bethesda, because there is no way that she can possibly forget about that. That is one of the times that will probably haunt her until the day she dies, a day still very far from this moment, hopefully.

"That has nothing to do with this," she argues.

Only it has everything to do with that. It has everything to do with them continually risking their lives for one another. The roles are reversed now, and she will be damned if she does not get the both of them out of there alive. Again.

"Well, we're sticking with the plan," he orders.

"No way," she disagrees.

He is not going to order her to be quiet and just agree with everything he says. She has never done that, and she is sure as heck not going to start now. Maybe if she twists her wrists just right, she will be able to get herself out, maybe knock out a couple of the men and then free Tony. They are going to make it out. They have to.

"I'm the senior agent here," he speaks. "You have to listen to me."

That line has not worked on her in ages now. What makes him think it would work on her now? She is not going to fall for it, and he should know that by now.

"Tony," she pleads with him, almost begging at this point.

"No, Sophie," he emphasizes her alias. "Listen to me on this one."

She is trying to calm herself down, to find her composure again. She is still a federal agent after all, so she really cannot afford to freak out like this, and especially not right now. She doesn't even understand why it is so bad this time, why her insanity levels always seems to go up a notch when it concerns Tony.

"Jean-Paul, I will not stand for this," she says, slipping into her role.

"Keep the baby safe at all costs," he responds, almost lovingly.

It is always Tony, somehow. With that time they spent in Bethesda together, that time that is looping in her memory at the moment, repeating itself over and over again, and now with this case. When exactly did she stop abhorring him?

"I'm not leaving you," she calls out.

Really, she should not even be wondering about the exact moment that she stopped thinking of him as merely annoying, and especially not right now. She should be thinking of a way to escape without any serious damage to either of them.

"You will listen to me," Tony gives another order.

"No, I will not," she immediately refuses.

But maybe his stupid plan is the only option they have at the moment. At least, this is the only valid option they can see now. And somehow that is a pretty upsetting idea, because if his death is the only way she can make it out of this hotel in one piece, she is not sure she is not sure she wants to follow this plan of his.

"Don't be such a stubborn bitch, dear," he starts with insults.

"Insulting me now," she asks mockingly. "Should I ask for a divorce?"

A divorce from him. That is just something she says to have something to say, to keep his spirits up, like she did when - she does not want to talk about that anymore.

"If that keeps you alive," he says.

That comment is accompanied by a sharp tug at her heartstrings. He is doing this to save her life, and somehow that is both comforting and painful. It is not that she does not want to live, it is that she does not want her life to cost him his. Still, that is the only way that seems to be a realistic possibility right now. And somehow it hurts.

"We can make it out of here together," she tries a last desperate attempt.

"We can't," he responds. "This is it. Tell the boss I'm sorry for failing him."

The words won't come out of her throat anymore, every last syllable is stuck somewhere behind her vocal chords. She wants to tell him how sorry she is that he has to do this, how sorry she is for all the horrid things she has said and done to him.

So she stays silent, and when the men come back, she leaves him behind.

AN: Different from the usual one scene thing, I know. We all know what happens next, so let's get on with something else. Something Framed.


	8. Picture Framed

-1**Chapter eight: Picture Framed**

Summary: Tony is being framed. Kate is worrying. Sheryl is annoying.

Disclaimer: Sheryl is the only one I really own. Not sure I want to, at this point.

AN: It's mostly just one long scene. Set during The Frame-Up. This is another chapter for a chapter deal. So Julia…

He was in jail. In jail. Because someone had set some things up to make everybody think that Tony DiNozzo killed a woman and then sawed off her legs, something that makes her shiver in disgust. How can anyone believe that Tony would do that?

That is why she is currently in prison at well. Just to visit him, mind you. She is not doing anything radical that will get her thrown in the neighboring cell, but she will at least take the time to relieve a bit of the inevitable boredom that has to ensue when one is stuck in a jail cell. That and she actually sort of kind of misses him.

"Katie," he calls out when he sees her. "I'm so glad to see you."

Judging by that, he might actually miss her too. And somehow, that makes her kind of happy, something she will not talk about under any circumstances. Because that feels all wrong, caring about whether he misses her or not. Not that missing him in the first place is not completely wrong. And also completely stupid of her.

"It sounds so strange without the sarcasm," she decides to tease him.

"You know I like being around you, Katie," is his reply.

Now that is certainly unnerving, especially with all the residual weirdness from going undercover as a couple of married assassins. She is still not completely comfortable with all the things they did in that case. She is still not completely comfortable with knowing that he could be attracted to her, because it certainly was not his knee.

"I thought you could use some company," she ignores his previous statement.

Because she cannot be thinking about the case again. She cannot be thinking about not hating him, about how she was going to miss him, about how she was going to owe him for laying his life on the line to save hers. About how much she cares.

"I thought you would be staying far away from prison," he teases her.

"The rest of the team is working on getting you out," she offers as explanation.

Actually, they were not busy enough to practically shove her out of the door, almost ordering her to visit Tony to make him feel better. At least, Abby and McGee were particularly insistent, and so was Ducky. Even Gibbs allowed her to leave the office earlier to visit Tony in his lonely and undoubtedly uncomfortable cell.

"And you were bored," he asks mockingly.

"I was worried," she reluctantly admits.

And there goes the infamous DiNozzo ego. Now that he knows that she cares, at least somewhat, he will start off on a never-ending tangent of cheesy jokes and other comments about her weakness for him. And she does not want that to happen.

"Don't worry about Tony DiNozzo," he merely says.

Nothing he says can make her stop worrying. She knows how those cases tend to work, and all of the physical evidence is pointing at him at the moment. Abby has not found anything to prove the contrary, and if this case goes to court now, he will be looking at years in jail. If not anything worse. This could ruin him.

"With the stalker, and now this," she replies.

"You really are worried," is the surprised response.

She does not understand why this is such a surprise to him. He should not be this surprised that she cares for him at least a little. She has saved him many times, and she has worried over him before. Why should this be such a surprise?

"Why is that such a surprise," she asks him.

"Because you really fiercely dislike me," he answers.

That is one of the stupidest things he has ever said, and she has heard him say some pretty moronic things over the years, so that's saying something. Sure, she is annoyed by him on occasion, but really hating or disliking him is impossible for anyone, even her. Even when she is annoyed by him, he will always do something to redeem himself.

"Do you dislike me," she tries to prove a point.

"No," he responds to that, shrugging his shoulders.

For some strange reason, or maybe not really that strange, that makes her feel better. She knows he doesn't hate her, but this confirmation is really nice.

"Then why do you think I fiercely dislike you," she speaks.

He does not seem to know what to say to that, she notices that immediately. She can understand that, because she has the tendency to come across as hostile, especially towards him. She glares at him, elbows him, and generally doesn't say anything positive to him. So it should not be a surprise that he thinks she dislikes him. And that part of it does not come as a surprise. That the idea hurts is a surprise.

"You're not really showing any appreciation," he speaks mockingly.

"Just because I'm not all over you, it doesn't mean I don't like you," she responds.

Of course, she is just saying that in a teasing matter, but she really should have phrased that differently, because this way is going to work wonders for his ego. And really, his ego does not need any miracles. And especially not from her.

"You like me," he asks mockingly. "You really like me?"

Great, another improvement for his ego, and a movie reference. She should really start thinking before she starts talking to him. Especially with the current developments. The ones involving them faking being a couple for his stalker, not the ones where she suddenly starts to care about him more than she needs to.

"You're not turning serious at all," she speaks.

She had expected him to turn a little more serious now that he is stuck in jail, and possibly for a very long time. But he is still cracking jokes and fooling around, both with her there and when Gibbs visited. Then, he put on a pretend trial, playing both the attorney and the defendant. Now, he is merely joking. Maybe he is changing.

"Do you think I'd tell you if I did turn serious," he asks her.

"We're dating, dear," she replies teasingly. "Of course you would."

The allusion to their faux-relationship makes the both of them smile, makes the whole thing just a little more lighthearted than it was before. And that is necessary at a moment like this, when a lifetime in jail is hanging in the balance.

"What do you want me to say," he requests of her.

"That you're worried too," she states the obvious.

Only he probably won't admit it. He is too caught up in being the tough guy to even admit that he really is scared of what is going to happen to him.

"And how would that help," is the skeptic response.

She wants him to just admit that he is somewhat scared too, that she is not the only one who is irrationally worried about what is going to happen. Because she is worrying way too much about this, because she knows Gibbs is going to help him get out of this thing, with a little help from Abby's forensics, of course. But she is still worried.

"You sound like Gibbs," she speaks mockingly.

"I'll consider that a compliment," he says, rolling his eyes.

He is just mocking her, just joking around. He is probably doing it to make himself feel better, but it is just making her even more annoyed with him. She just wants him to admit it, and then maybe she can rest a little more easily. Because she will know that she has reason to worry, that the caring and worrying is not irrational.

"Why did I even bother," she asks herself.

As she turns away from his cell, she berates herself for even trying in the first place. She should have just stayed at the office and helped him from there. This way of helping him is just getting on her nerves. She really should be going now.

"Fine, I'm worried," he calls out.

She turns around again and slowly walks back to his cell. Somehow, the fact that he admits to being worried is both consoling and making it more painful. Suddenly, she does not know what to say anymore. Everything would be wrong.

"Now was that so hard," she asks him.

"If you wanted me to say it so you can mock me," he responds, "you can just leave."

So she said the wrong thing again. She has a tradition of saying the stupidest things when it comes to him, but this one might be really bad. He suddenly seems worried enough without some of her more tactless comments. She should have stayed quiet.

"I didn't want to be the only one who was worried," she says softly.

"I have too much time on my hands," he explains. "I can't start worrying."

That is certainly understandable. She really should not have said anything, but of course it is too late to take it back now. Now she just has to make him feel better.

"If only they had an ice-rink here," she teases.

"Forget it," he replies. "I think I'm still sore from the last time."

Bypassing the obvious sexual innuendo in his comment, made even more obvious by the leer he shoots at her, he still seems very worried. But the sexual undercurrent is the most prominent part of his comment, as usual. It makes her grin.

"You're such a wuss, Tony," she mocks him.

Grinning at him the whole time, of course. She has the interesting - or actually, leaning more towards childish - urge to stick out her tongue at him. Sticking out her tongue to a man in a jail cell. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.

"Just being careful with my tight body," he replies.

That line was absolutely ridiculous, even for his reasonably weird doing. So it justifies the rather ungraceful snort that escapes. The line makes him sound like some sort of strange vain model type. Really, she does not really know anyone who would say something like that, and that just makes it all the more amusing.

"That line was outrageous, even for you," she speaks.

"Outrageous," he responds, and then growls at her.

She remembers that case, the one with commander Shields. The one where she had to share a bathroom with him. She remembers it because he always seems to use every opportunity he has to bring it up. He probably enjoyed it too much.

"Reminds me of why I won't shower at your place," she says.

Only she did, and she does not even know why. She could have just gone home, she could have done many other things. Only she didn't, and that bothers her.

"You already did, remember," he brings it up.

"I should still Gibbs-slap myself over that," she replies.

The annoyed look on his face makes her want to grin at him. He is so annoyed over her little joke, and maybe that is keeping his attention away from being locked up, which would mean that her little plan to keep him distracted is working.

"Come on Katie, it was not that bad," he says.

"The place was actually sanitary," she responds mockingly.

It was much more than merely sanitary, actually, but teasing him is nice. And again, it is a nice distraction from the impending things looming over his head.

"You're a regular comedian, Katie dear," he says, faux-annoyed.

"Of course, Anthony love," she replies, grinning.

The nicknames are quickly becoming just another thing between the two of them, some sort of running joke they share. This is another of those things she really should be bothered by, but she actually likes deep down. They are starting to develop some sort of thing between them, and that is not necessarily a bad thing.

"Tony, I just heard," a voice sounds.

A woman she has never seen before suddenly shows up. She rushes over to Tony, acting as if the world is about to end. She could be one of Tony's many girls, were it not that Tony promised that he would not be dating for a while. And that stab of something that could be jealousy she feels deep down is not right at all.

"Sheryl, meet my girlfriend Caitlin," Tony tells her.

So this must be the infamous stalker, the woman she spoke to on the phone. This is probably not a good thing, and she knows that. But she has to play nice until they find out what she is up to, so she holds out her hand to the stalker.

"Please, call me Kate," she says in her nicest tone of voice.

Right now, she has to be nice. She has to play the perfect girlfriend. And freaking out seems a more reasonable reaction for a girlfriend than for just another colleague, so she has an excuse for that. She just has to play nice for a little bit longer.

"It's very nice to meet you," stalker Sheryl says.

"Mutual," she lies to the woman.

Of course she really does not want to be talking to that woman. She already has more than enough on her plate right now, and so does Tony. They really don't need some crazy stalker bothering them as well. And that seriously sounded like she really is Tony's girlfriend, and that is definitely freaking her out right now.

"I wish I could hug you right now, Katie," Tony continues the charade.

"I'll be fine, Tony," she plays along. "You know that."

He puts his hand on her cheek, through the bars. She smiles at him as if they are some perfect, sickeningly cute couple. And deep down, this whole hand thing feels kind of nice, but she is never going to admit any of that. It is all just a show.

"Can't help being worried," he admits.

They look so cute and they look so perfect it makes her want to puke. But in order for this stupid stalking detective to believe their story, they have to be. So even though she has never been this particularly cutesy with any guy she was seeing, she will keep the ruse up to get this stalker off Tony's back. She guesses she is starting to care.

"I should be the one worried about you," she replies.

"Please, I'll be fine," he pretty much laughs it off.

Why can't he just take this thing seriously? Well, maybe he is just pretending not to be worried. He did it before, and she should have expected him to do it again.

"Tony, you're in jail for Pete's sake," she argues.

"Calm down Katie," he tells her. "Please. For my sake."

She is sincerely worried, and she knows it. He knows it as well. But she simply does not know what to do anymore. She wouldn't know what to do if he happened to be stuck in jail for the rest of his life, besides going to visit him as much as she can. She just cannot imagine her job - and maybe even her life - without him.

"I'm sorry," she says. "I just really want to catch the bitch or bastard that did this."

His hand is still on her cheek, and together with all this worrying, it is changing into something particularly bad for her. Because how could these confusing things she is feeling be anything but bad? She just doesn't know anymore.

"You will," Tony promises her. "With Abby's help. You two can do anything."

That can still make her smile, that he has so much faith in the team. But all these things running through her head, trying to fake a relationship in front of the stalker, trying not to care about him anymore than she already does. She cannot make this any more confusing than it already is. But she is thinking she might be too late with that.

"Abby says hi," she suddenly remembers. "She misses you."

This is just a way to get the topic back to something reasonably safe, especially now that his hand has changed its place from resting on her cheek to now holding her hand. The topic has to be reasonably safe for her to be okay with this.

"Tell her hi back," he smiles fondly. "I know she'll solve this."

He has so much faith in Abby, in Gibbs, and maybe even in her. It is nice to hear about that. Unfortunately, she is suddenly too aware of his stalker looking at them.

"I have to go," she speaks. "Gibbs will kill me if I don't get back soon."

This is just because she needs to get away from there, needs to get away from the stalker, but most of all far away from him. The confusion is going to drive her crazy, and if she wants to get this case solved in a way that does not end with him in prison, she has to get her head back in the game. She has to re-focus now, before it gets worse.

"It'll be fine, Katie," he tries to comfort her.

This needs to stop. She knows it, and she still lets him intertwine their fingers like they are some kind of perfect couple. Find your focus again, Kate!

"We'll catch the one responsible for this," she promises him.

"I know, Katie," he is assuring her.

Right now, she is not feeling anything but hatred for the stalker. But she puts on a fake smile, for all the world seeming as if she is just worried that her perfect boyfriend is going to go to jail for the rest of his life and end their perfect life together.

"I'm freaking out, aren't I," she plays the worried girlfriend.

"It's fine," her faux-boyfriend responds.

And in their ending moment as the perfect couple, she slowly unleashes her hand from his, drawing back as slowly as she possibly can. She smiles at him sweetly, pretending to be oh so very sad about everything that is happening. The stalker is still watching the both of them like a hawk, and she does not look pleased. Mission accomplished.

"I'm really leaving this time," she tells him.

When she walks off, she looks back at him a couple of times, noticing that he is still watching her leave. He has no attention whatsoever for the stalker.

And those pangs in her heart? They do not mean she's worried. Not at all.

She is so completely screwed.

AN: The seed is there. The awareness is not. At least, not completely.


	9. Probie Is Probed

-1**Chapter nine: Probie is Probed**

Summary: Awkward. Painfully weird. That's pretty much it.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. I'd be a lot richer.

AN: Set during Probie. Just not episode-centered. As much as sperm-jokes would be amusing, I just could not really see it in the context of the fic.

He has been trying to get her attention for hours now, and she has been ignoring him the entire time. She does not want to talk to him, not now, not ever. After everything that has happened over the last couple of weeks, everything that has happened between the two of them, she just simply does not know how to deal with him anymore.

This year, her third year at NCIS, started out normal enough after everything involving the man who almost killed her settled. Until Tony came along with that ridiculous plan of his, asking her to help him with that stupid stalker of his.

All their pseudo-dates, and the time they spent together, it is getting to her in ways that make her sick to her stomach. The thought of letting herself do this, letting something like this happen to her again makes her feel sick inside.

She does not even understand why it has to be him, why it has to be him of all people, of all men. Why would it be the immature skirt-chasing playboy who does not know the meaning of the words privacy and commitment? Why would it be him? He is not the worst person she can think of, but it is not right. She does not understand.

"Katie," he sings out her name for what seems like the thirtieth time.

Right now, talking to him is too hard. What with everything that is going on inside her head, because of him, talking to him would just make things even more complicated than they already are. She can barely even look at him anymore.

"Katie," he repeats yet again.

Because calling her by that stupid nickname will really get her attention. Actually, it will, but it is only going to make her angrier at him than she already is. And she has this strange idea that getting her angry is not exactly his goal at the moment. It is more likely to be the exact opposite at this point. He just wants her attention.

"Why are you ignoring me," he suddenly asks.

What can she say to that? They both know that she is ignoring him in every way possible, but she is not just going to admit to that without a fight.

"I'm not ignoring you," she denies it all.

If it is not ignoring him, then what it is that she is doing? She is lying through her teeth, but everything, or anything, is so much better than actually talking to him about what is happening to her, to them. Everything is changing, slowly shifting, and she does not want to be here when he has an epiphany similar to hers. It would be weird.

"Sorry, but that does not work on me," Tony sees through it all.

"It's still true," she refuses to acknowledge the truth.

So that is why she asked Gibbs for a couple of days off to visit some relatives, to see her favorite nephews and nieces and other relatives. She needs to take some time off, needs to spend some time away from the office to get a new perspective on things.

"Did I do something wrong," he asks her, sounding hurt.

"No, I did," she remarks rather testily.

Everything she has been doing lately has been wrong, starting from the day she agreed to the plan. She has to get away to change everything again, to regain her footing so that she can go back to the way it used to be. They both need to get back to the way they used to be around each other, to the way things were. It is better that way.

"What do you mean," he wonders.

"Not only did I agree to this completely stupid plan of yours," she speaks up in a volume that makes him wince, "but I also went undercover as your wife!"

Why Gibbs could not have just given that case to Ziva instead of her, is something she still is not sure about. She cannot imagine any reasons to give it to her instead of the Israeli agent. Ziva is much more trained in situations like that, while her own specialty is mostly Profiling jobs. She does not get why Gibbs wanted her on the case.

"The horror," Tony replies mockingly.

"Don't mock me," she almost yells at him.

She needs to blame him for it all, needs to blame him because it is so much easier than blaming herself. That urge is making her feel sick to her stomach.

"Do I need to apologize or something," he asks her.

Now he sounds genuinely hurt and confused, and it is getting to her. She does not know what to say anymore, if she should apologize for being so weird about this. Everything is so hard all of a sudden, and she does not know what to do with it.

"It was not your knee," her surprisingly high-pitched voice sounds.

"No, it wasn't," he admits. "But why bring that up now? It's been over a week."

One of the strangest, longest weeks she has ever lived through. She had hoped for some time to regain her focus after the undercover case, but all of a sudden Tony is framed for murder and they have to find out who did it before he goes to jail. And she is suddenly so much more worried about him than she usually is, and it is wrong.

"Because we should have discussed it when you were framed for murder by Abby's assistant," she almost screams. "Is that a better idea?"

Yelling at him yet again, not a very wise move Kate. Being angry at him just seems like the easiest thing to do right now, even though it is probably not the right thing to do.

"No, of course not," he says. "That does not mean we couldn't have talked before that."

He is right, and she hates it. They probably should have talked about everything before she got as upset as she is now, but she did not know how. She still does not know how to talk to him and what to say. But she will, and she hopes it is soon.

"But -," she tries to get a word in.

"You were avoiding me," he interrupts, finishing the sentence.

What is there to say now? Can she really talk to him about what is going on? She does not know if she can tell him her reasons for acting this way, the feelings inside of her that are really starting to make her sick. Everything is all different now.

"Tell me it wouldn't have been awkward," she orders him.

There is no way he can tell her that without having to lie to her. Because there is no way that they would be able to sit down and have a serious conversation about all of this without it becoming horribly and painfully awkward. There would be too much stammering and blushing going on for them to talk everything through.

"Fine," he says while frowning at her. "We won't talk."

But that is not what she wants to hear either. Somehow she does not want him to tell her that they will not talk about it. The mind is a strange thing, she knows that, but this is just making her infinitely more confused. And confusion gets her annoyed.

"Go ask Gibbs to partner you with Ziva," she tells him.

It could be jealousy, this feeling deep in the pit of her stomach. She just does not want it to be, because that would only reaffirm that she cares about him, cares about him in a way that is just a million kinds of wrong. And if getting Gibbs to partner him with the Israeli agent will keep the feelings at bay, she will leave him.

"No thanks," he responds. "I like keeping my lunch where it is. Her driving is lethal."

Everyone in the office knows that, by personal experience. But that does not mean that he does not like the woman herself. Or maybe it does, because if he really liked her he would have dealt with the horrible driving skills. It probably does.

"Fine," she strikes out at him. "Work with McGee."

This is not because she particularly wants to torture her colleague, but it is just because she really wants to keep herself sane. If she continues to work with Tony, something is going to happen between the two of them, something potentially awkward and certainly completely wrong. And if there is anything she can do to avoid that, she will do it.

"What if I like working with you," Tony suddenly asks.

"I'm still not talking to you," she mutters.

She is not going to be able to refuse the conversation much longer, but she is going to hold out as long as she can. She still does not know what to say.

"Well, I'm not really good at sign language, but," he starts to joke.

"Don't you get it by now," she explains it to him. "I don't want to talk to you."

These feelings will not be pushed away, will not be forgotten and she hates it. She does not want to feel this way, does not want to feel these things for him. And she definitely does not want to tell him about everything, because that would only make it worse.

"Tough luck," he barks at her.

And of course, it can still get worse than it already is. The way he is going to respond to the thing she is never ever going to tell him is going to make things seriously awkward, even more than they already are. He is just going to laugh her off and make working together completely impossible from then on. She is not saying anything.

"And what does that mean," she continues the argument.

"We're talking no matter what you say," he responds.

There is no way in hell he is going to make that happen. He cannot make her talk about everything if she does not want to talk about it. The problem is that maybe, deep down, she does want to talk about it. Deep down, she really wants to tell him.

"And how are you going to pull that off," she wonders, a true skeptic.

"I'll figure something out," he speaks confidently.

His reaction is the main thing keeping her from telling him everything. His reaction and the way her confession is going to change everything. It will change how they are acting towards each other, it will change the entire team dynamic, and possibly - probably - for the worse. That is why the words just will not come out of her mouth.

"You do that," she says mockingly.

She is really starting to miss the way things used to be before. When she could at least convincingly pretend that she hated him with every fiber of her being. Lately, she cannot even seem to do that anymore. She cannot even pretend anymore.

"Why don't you want to talk to me," he asks her.

"You figure it out," she orders.

And he will, she knows as much. He is smarter than he makes himself out to be, he has proven that much. And not just one time, as some sort of lucky shot. He has proven to be quite intelligent more than once. It is just much easier to underestimate him, which is what many people tend to do when it concerns him.

"Look, I'll apologize for the knee-incident if that's what you want," he offers.

"You do that," she repeats.

It only takes him a little while to figure out exactly how to get to her. His sincere apologies are so rare, but she has seen a few of them lately. He really wants her to think well of him, and somehow that makes her feel better.

"I'm sorry, okay Katie," he asks her with that look on his face.

The memories of that little nickname and the one person who used to use that name for her all the time, those memories make her wince. These memories are what makes her order everyone not to call her Katie. And everyone seems to listen to those orders, except for him of course. No matter how many times she tells him.

"Don't call me Katie," she remarks.

Secretly, she finds it almost amusing that he refuses to listen to her orders. That does not happen to her very often, so his refusal constantly keeps her on her toes.

"It's okay that you were worried, you know," he is suddenly assuring her.

"I don't know what you're talking about," she denies everything.

Of course he would know that she was worried about him. It must have been obvious to everyone. She was almost hysteric a both of the times he was in danger, whether of being killed by a couple of assassins or of being sentenced to a life in prison. She completely lost her composure, something that does not usually happen to her.

And if all that was not bad enough, she kept thinking about kissing him. Just to keep up the ruse in front of his stalker, of course.

"Fine, pretend," he says. "It was nice to have someone worry about me."

Does that mean he liked having her worry about what was going to happen to him? That is just completely and utterly wrong. He liked that she was feeling sick to her stomach with worry, liked that she was scared? How could he?

"You think that's nice," she blurts out.

"Mostly the having someone part, yeah," Tony admits.

So he really does appreciate her after all. He really does appreciate what she is trying to do for him, that she is trying to help him. Not merely in the field, like it used to be before everything got so mixed up, but also in their more personal relationship, the one they have recently started developing. He cares, and that makes her feel kind of nice.

"I - Oh - You," she starts stammering.

"Very articulate, Katie," he says mockingly.

This is just his way of removing some of the awkwardness of the situation they are currently in, she knows and understands that. He cracks some sort of silly joke to lighten the atmosphere, so that they can both feel alright around the other person again. She knows that they both need that, and she is going to help him.

"Oh put a sock in it," she responds, grinning.

He grins right back at her, making this moment a lot more comfortable. She knows that he cares about her in some sort of way, and that has to be enough for now.

"We're fine now," he asks.

"I guess so," she hesitantly affirms.

Immediately telling him that they are perfectly fine again would just be a lie. She cannot be fine again that easily, but she can let him know that they might be fine soon. Her feelings will not suddenly stop, but she has faith in the future. She has faith in the fact that those feelings will simply disappear over time. They will be fine again.

"That does not sound very definitive," he notes.

"That's because I meant it that way," she replies, annoyed.

She cannot let him get to her in that way again, because that will only spark another of their infamous arguments. And she is sick of arguing with him. For now, at least.

"You're leaving soon," Tony then says.

Her trip to see her family is coming up soon, and they both know that. It is the first time that they will have been apart - the first time without some sort of contact - for longer than a day or so. They usually speak or call each other every day. It is so strange to suddenly find him so close to her, as a real trusted friend.

"I have a few days off," she reluctantly agrees.

"I don't want to be in a fight when you leave," he tells her.

That particular line is familiar to her. Her mother always used to tell her that one should not leave the house - or in this case, the office - angry, because you never really know what could happen. She has always taken this advice to heart, because she would not be able to live with the regret of the last words she has spoken to someone being words spoken in anger. With her job, you never know what could happen.

"Because something could happen," she asks him.

There is a long silence, and it seems like he does not know what to say. She understands his worries about her, about what could happen to her in the mean time. Ever since _him_, Tony does not quite want to leave her alone for longer than a day. He worries.

"Yeah," he then finally speaks up.

"Now you know what it feels like to worry," she teases him to lighten the mood.

His face lights up with a smile, and she grins at him. At least they can tease each other again, without taking offense to everything. That probably signifies that if she can just get rid of those stupid feelings, they can be totally fine again. And strangely enough, she still wants to be completely fine with him. She likes being fine with him.

"I hate payback," he speaks with that typical smile of his.

This time, that typical smile just awakens the feelings she is so desperately trying to push far away from her. He has always been able to get to her, but never in this way. It is all so very different now, because of the way she feels about him.

She is starting to fall for him, for real.

AN: Falling, falling, falling. She just needs to give it a shot. It's never that easy.


	10. Family Affair

-1**Chapter ten: Family Ties**

Summary: Meet some of the family. And hear their thoughts on Tony.

Disclaimer: The family's all mine. The rest is not.

AN: Hope you like the original characters.

When she returns from her trip to visit her favorite family members, she finds her apartment door unlocked. She remembers she has not brought her gun on the trip, so she must defend herself with the knife she always carries around with her, completely in sync with rule number nine. Well, the knife will just have to do.

The second she steps foot in her apartment she knows that someone has been there. A trail of rose petals leads to her bedroom, and she is hesitant to follow it. Who knows what she could find in that room. And more importantly who she will find there.

She hesitates in front of the door, holding the knife in her hand. She takes a deep breath to compose herself and slowly but surely turns the knob on the door.

And heck, she is shocked by what she sees when she opens that door. Tony DiNozzo is lying on her bed, and he is completely naked, which immediately brings back memories of Cuba and iguanas. She never did get rid of that particular mental images. And if she is really honest, she will admit that she did not want to get rid of it.

"Welcome home Katie," he speaks.

He seems completely comfortable lying naked in her bed, while she is still trying to pick her jaw off the petal-covered floor. This cannot be happening.

Covering her bedroom floor with petals does seem like something Tony would do - because he probably got it from some kind of movie he saw - but the lying naked in her bed part seems too surreal to be true. Even though Tony's ego would definitely allow him to do something like that. She just does not know the reasons.

Actually, she does not care about the reasons right now, she thinks as she kicks off her shows and throws down the knife. He is naked in her bed, and that is all that she can think of at the moment. The nakedness is kind of the center of attention.

She does not know why she does it, but she gets rid of her clothes and joins him on the bed. It just seems like the right thing to do.

And then she wakes up.

_This is not good. _

……………

While the rest of the team is working on some kind of supermodel, she is visiting her favorite relatives. And she does not even mind it, because if she had stayed, Tony would have made some sexist comments about the models that she would not be able to ignore, and they would have another stupid fight. And she does not want that. She really does not want to be fighting with him right now, because she knows she is falling.

Right now, she is waiting for one of her favorite nieces to get out of school. The girl has just started junior high, and she is one of the brightest of the bunch already. That just makes her so much more proud of Gwenny. She reminds her of herself sometimes.

"Aunt Kate," she suddenly hears her niece's voice.

"Hey Gwenny," she calls out.

The twelve-year-old immediately runs over to her and gives her a big hug. This is what she misses most when she is working, some time with her family. Well, mostly time with some members of the family, the ones that do not constantly pester her about finding someone to marry, or the ones that pester her about her "irresponsible" job.

Gwen is one of the girls who remind her of herself. She is not a typical girly-girl, she is smart and very good at defending herself from anyone. That last part is something she has taught her niece. You never do know what could happen to them.

"Shouldn't you be working," Gwen asks her.

"Nope," she replies. "I took time off to visit my favorite relatives."

Her niece starts smiling at being called a favorite relative, even though she should really know that by now. She always takes some time for Gwenny.

"Won't your partner miss you," is the next question.

Why she ever showed Gwenny pictures of the team is beyond her at the moment. But it seemed innocent, at some sort of family gathering, and Gwen had just been scolded by Erica for missing some sort of obligatory ballet practice. She wanted to cheer her up, so she showed her the pictures and told her some funny anecdotes. Maybe she should have skipped the ones about the paternity test and the shower.

"He's too busy with the boot camp babes," she answers with a shrug.

After she showed Gwen - and some other choose relatives - the pictures of the time, and she finished telling some anecdotes, that particular part of the family got it into their heads that she was secretly in love with Tony. Since then, they always ask about him every single time that she visits. It tends to get very annoying.

Especially now that the statement seems to be getting close to being the truth.

"Since when is mom your favorite relative, by the way," Gwen teases.

"She isn't," she speaks. "Time off to visit my favorite cousins."

Her favorite cousins are mostly girls, like Gwenny. Or actually, her full name is Gwendolyn, courtesy of Erica's love for the King Arthur legends.

"Going to see Sienna as well," Gwen asks.

Sienna, her oldest niece, the one who has headed off for college this year, is a bit of a free spirit - very much like her mother, actually. And her mother just happens to be Kate's favorite sister in law Addison. She is particularly close with that part of the family.

"Yes," she responds, "and Marius as well, of course."

The quiet thirteen-year-old is her favorite nephew, and the only one in the family who seems to share her drawing talents. He may not talk very much, but he notices everything that happens in the family, and possibly makes drawings of that. She is still amused by that time when he drew a caricature of his aunt Erica.

"You'll want to avoid Keira," Gwen advises. "She has a new boyfriend."

Keira - sister of Sienna, Riley, and Marius - is the flirt of the family. Even though Sienna is a bit of a free spirit when it comes to love and relationships, she does not even get close to her younger sister's stream of boyfriends. The sixteen-year-old has a new boyfriend every time she visits, and a couple of others in between.

"Not again," she mutters with a sigh.

"Yes, again," Gwen rolls her eyes. "She talks about him all the time."

That is typical Keira, she thinks as they walk into the street where Connor and Erica's house is located. Gwen is almost home now, and she will have to choose between leaving her niece at the door and having to face her brother and his meddling wife. And she is probably going to choose the first option. She does not like Erica at all.

"Promise me you won't turn into an idiot when you get at that age," she pleads as a joke.

The idea of Gwen turning into as much of a Barbie as her cousin is laughable, which is proven by the grin she shares with Gwenny about this joke.

"As if you and aunt Addison would let me," Gwen replies while laughing.

"Who knows what your mom would do," she mutters as a response.

Erica is perfectly capable of trying to turn her only daughter into a perfect little doll, especially since she cannot do something like that to her two sons. She sometimes wishes that Gwen had parents who understood her better, because Connor and Erica are much too traditional to understand both Gwen and herself.

"You may have a point there," Gwen acknowledges.

They are almost at Connor's house, and she stops walking because she wants to prolong the time she has with Gwen for just a little bit longer. They stop in front of a Starbucks, and she does not know what to say anymore. She needs more time, probably.

"Surprise," a familiar voice suddenly calls out.

As she turns around, she notices that the familiar voice belongs to her niece Sienna, who is followed by her mother and her younger brother. The three of them are all smiling, even though Marius' smile is not as wide. He always seems more solemn.

"I thought I'd see you, and not otherwise," she says with a smile.

"Mom couldn't wait," Sienna shrugs her shoulders.

Since Addison is known throughout the family for being notoriously impatient, she understands Sienna's response. Addison was probably done with one of her paintings and just needed to get out of the house that was probably filled with her husband's business relations. Addison and Brendon are complete opposites, but they work somehow.

"Of course she couldn't," she simply responds.

The entire group enters into the small Starbucks and immediately sits down at the largest table in the store. The owner gives them a dirty look, but the only response that gets is an extra cheerful smile from Addison, and the finger from Sienna.

"Are you talking about me again," Addison speaks, cheekily.

"Hi aunt Addison," Gwenny smiles. "Hi Marius."

Marius is constantly overshadowed by the other strong personalities in the family. But he is perfectly content with being in the background of it all. He does not necessarily need the attention, and his parents do not try to force him into the limelight against his will, like Erica tries to do with him. Marius just likes to be.

"Hi Gwen," he speaks, smiling at his favorite cousin.

"I found this fantasy book you'd love," Gwen immediately responds.

These two have found a mutual fascination with fantasy novels. Ever since she bought Marius a copy of Tolkien's Lord of the Rings for his twelfth birthday, he has started to draw much more magical figures. And Gwen has always loved books like Harry Potter, so they tend to write their own stories together, with Marius' drawings.

"Can I see it," Marius asks her, eager to see the book.

"Of course," Gwen replies. "Come on, let's go."

Gwenny immediately drags her cousin off to her house, where Gwenny will probably first be scolded profusely by Erica for her manners and for not coming home immediately after school. Then, she will notice Marius, look annoyed, and send them upstairs.

"So silent, just like his father," Addison muses.

Addison is right, Marius is very much like his father, stern and quiet. They are both not very outspoken and spontaneous, like Addison is. And a lot of the people in the family.

"So artistic, just like his mother," Sienna mocks.

"Watch it you," Addison replies with a grin.

These two are so perfectly comfortable with each other, something that she never really got to share with her own mother. Bridget was always expecting her to be different, more girly, than she actually was. She just wanted her mother to accept her. And they still do not get along that much because her mother is suddenly focused on getting her married off, something she is not particularly interested in at the moment.

"It's good to see all of you," she says, smiling widely.

She likes seeing this particular part of her family, but deep down, she really misses everyone she left at work. And Tony in particular. But that is just wrong, even when she does consider these feelings she now has for him. It still just seems wrong.

"Just be glad we didn't bring Keira," Sienna remarks.

If Keira had come along, she would have played nice, of course, but it would just be a lot less fun. Addison knows that she does not particularly like Keira, and even she cannot change her daughter. Erica's influence has gotten to her too much already.

"Gwenny said she had a new boyfriend," she speaks.

"He is all she talks about," Sienna responds to that with a sigh that belies how she feels about her sister's serial dating. "That and how big her butt looks in her new pants."

That particular observation makes her want to giggle like a schoolgirl, something she has not done much lately. The few times that she did have to giggle, it was about something crazy or funny that Tony said or did. He is the only one who has made her laugh since that horrible thing with _him_. And now she has her family to add to the short list.

"When Sienna gets annoyed, it is really bad," Addison adds.

"Of course," she heartily agrees.

When Addison is starting to get that mischievous twinkle in her eyes that always serves to remind her of Tony, she knows that this does not bode any good for her. Addison is bound to start asking awkward questions, or she will start saying things that will really embarrass her. And those things will probably involve Tony.

"How's work," Addison asks her.

"Just come out with it," she responds to that.

They both know that the only interest Addison has in her job is the part where she works with a man who Addison likes to call "Hottie McHot". For someone whose oldest kids are eighteen years old, Addison sure has the tendency to be immature.

"How are things with your sexy partner," is the next question Addison asks.

Case in point. While Sienna just stands by and laughs at the whole thing, coming back with three cups of coffee, Addison is the one asking the embarrassing questions.

"He is busy ogling boot camp babes at the moment," she answers.

Of course, the minute she starts talking about him again, those pesky feelings start annoying her again. She wonders when he is going to call her - because she knows he will, he is just worried like that - and what he will say. And of course, at that exact moment, her phone starts ringing. Could it be him?

"Ten bucks that's him," Addison speaks.

Is Addison just trying to get her all riled up, or could it really be him? The really annoying part of all this is that she really wants it to be him. They have only been away for each other for about two days, and already they called each other several times about the most ridiculous things. They are getting way too attached to each other.

"Kate Todd," she says as she picks up her phone.

"Katie," she hears Tony call out. "Where are you?"

She totally owes Addison those ten bucks now. It is him after all, and the butterflies - or should she just call them caterpillars - in her stomach are doing cartwheels.

"Oh, it is him," Addison immediately knows. "I knew it."

That will probably alert Tony to the fact that they are talking about him. Addison is yelling loud enough for him to hear, she notes as she sips her coffee and graces Sienna with a thankful grin for getting exactly the right kind. This must be doing wonders for his precious ego. There will be no living with him after this, in the figurative sense.

"Are you talking about me," Tony asks, probably smiling.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I'm visiting my family, remember?"

Maybe she should introduce Tony to her family one day. That is the most prominent thought in her head at that moment, and it kind of scares her. She does not usually take anyone to meet her family. But he has become a friend, somehow. And even if she is ignoring the more than friendly feelings that she has for him, he has still become a very important feature in her life. It could be even more, but she cannot think of that.

"I know," he says. "Just checking in. I won't disturb you any longer."

But the problem is that he is not disturbing her at all. She wants to be talking to him right now, and that is just all kinds of wrong. She took this time off to regain her focus, to take some time away from him so that she could think about things. But now, she just finds herself thinking about him still. And those feelings are not going anywhere either.

"I'll call you later, okay," she tries to assure him.

And she will, because she has the nagging feeling that she misses him just as much as he misses her. They really have become that pathetic after what happened with _him_.

"It's fine, Katie," Tony speaks to her.

"Don't call me Katie," she immediately responds.

It is just an automatic response to that nickname, and it has nothing to do with Tony in any way. Deep down, she thinks it is kind of nice when he calls her that, because it reminds her of the person she used to be. And it has become part of their thing.

"Talk to you later," he promises her.

And he will, because the minute she gets back to the guest room at Addison's, she will pick up her phone and call him, starting back up just where they left off. This whole thing is making less and less sense to her, but she still thinks it is kind of nice, so she does not argue with it. And as far as she knows, neither will he.

"I owe you ten bucks," she tells Addison as she hangs up.

The grin that appears on Addison's face when she hears that is another signal that she is pretty much doomed. This will lead into another discussion of all aspects of Tony, and no matter how fascinating and stimulating - yeah right - that can be, she is really not in the mood to discuss every aspect of his physique. Not going to happen.

"Why does mom think he's sexy," Sienna asks.

"Because he is, honey," Addison immediately replies.

Sienna was not there that time when she showed some of the family members some pictures of the team, so she has only heard about Tony. She has never actually met him, or seen any kind of image of him. She would like to keep it that way.

"He's a womanizing jerk at least half of the time," she protests.

Of course, there is no way that she is going to admit to any feelings for him. She has not even really admitted it to herself yet, has not said it out loud, so she sure as heck is not going to admit to anything in front of her meddling relatives. Addison would find a way to set the two of them up, and Sienna would probably lend her a hand.

"All the good ones are," Sienna speaks with a sad smile.

She is not even going to ask what brought Sienna to that insight. She is not really that aware of her niece's dating life, at least, not enough to find out what brought on this jaded idea. But she regrets whatever made her see it like that.

"Do I want to know how you know that," Addison asks, in full mother-mode.

"No, you don't," is her daughter's immediate response. "Do you have pictures?"

That is a nice way of shifting the focus from Sienna back to her. She has pulled this particular stunt so many times over the years - the downside of having three older brothers and a sister - that she cannot even be mad at her niece. She has had to escape nosiness a couple of times herself. More than a couple of times, actually.

"A group picture in my purse," she reluctantly admits.

Even more reluctantly, she takes the worn picture out of her purse. She reminisces on when it was taken, one time where Palmer had managed to get his hands on a camera, taking pictures of everything he saw. Of course, this greatly annoyed Gibbs, until Abby insisted on taking a group picture of the team and Gibbs caved.

"He's the one with his arm around you," Sienna immediately notices.

While looking at the picture some more, she notices how everyone is grouped together in a typical way. Gibbs is front and center, being the boss, and he is flanked by Ducky and Abby. McGee stands close to Abby, with Ziva on his right. Tony is standing on the far left, his arm around her with a lazy grin on his face. She is standing between him and Ducky and she is actually looking kind of happy at this placement.

"How do you know," she wonders.

How would Sienna immediately know which one of the men in the picture is Tony, when she has not seen any pictures of any member of the team before; that is something she cannot seem to grasp. There just has to be a reason.

"He's looking at you in that way," is Sienna's response.

"What way," she needs to know.

Really, Addison and Sienna are just being purposely vague at this point. She has no idea what they mean when they insinuate that Tony is looking at her in a certain way. Or maybe she does know, but she is just not ready to talk about it just yet. At the moment, she is leaning more towards the latter option, if she is being honest.

"She's not ready for that, honey," Addison says.

"Right," Sienna seems to agree. "Never mind, aunt Kate."

That is more than a little patronizing, and she would get really angry at the both of them if this idea did not have at least a hint of truth to it. She is not ready to hear about this just yet, and the fact that her family seems to notice that is alright with her.

"Why is my entire family insane," she asks herself out loud.

Addison and Sienna both start grinning at her when she says that, and she just cannot help herself, she has to grin back at them. Because even if her family is insane, she loves them nonetheless. They might provide her with a big enough distraction to stop thinking of him as much as she does. She really has serious feelings for him.

She came here to get over him. She does not think it is working.

AN: Wait, was that Kate starting to admit to feelings? At least, to herself.


	11. Closed In

-1**Chapter eleven: Closed In**

Summary: Tony and Kate, locked in a box.

Disclaimer: Not mine. Cause I do it my way. Sinatra reference intentional.

AN: This is my present to you because we kicked Italy ass tonight! Enjoy!

Honestly, somebody had to have broken a mirror. Because in the last month or so, she has been undercover as Tony's wife, Tony has been framed for a cannibalistic murder by Abby's assistant, McGee may or may not have shot a cop, and now she is locked in a shipping container with Tony. Shouldn't it be enough by now?

Tony has been alright with everything until now, at least on the surface. He is not the type to talk about the things that happen around them, he would sooner stay quiet and brood on his own, at home. Even though he would rather die than admit it.

When he suddenly shouts out at her in glee, she turns around to face him with an expression on her face that belies her confusion. He is standing at the side of a large crate that they had just opened. He is grinning widely, and something tells her that this might actually be a good thing, for once. Who know what he found.

She walks up to him and finds the crate to be full of money. This is not good.

"When we get out, I'll buy you a pony," Tony teases.

Not that she even wants a pony, but the sentiment is actually kind of sweet. Of course, that idea fails when she takes a closer look at the money in the crate. This is not real money, not valid. This money is obviously counterfeit.

"The money's counterfeit, Tony," she tells him.

"Of course it is," Tony immediately replies.

He did not notice that immediately, and they both know it. Between the two of them, she is the expert in counterfeit bills, because of her work in the Secret Service.

"And I really wanted that pony," she speaks sarcastically.

Actually, she hates horses, but that is not something she will bring up now. The sarcasm is pretty good at hiding her amusement over his pony joke, even though she really does not want animals of any kind, except for her dearest Tony. The dog, of course.

"Really, Katie," he asks with a grin.

"Come out with it Tony," she responds, sighing.

There is probably going to be a lewd response of some kind, and she is just waiting to roll her eyes at him or to elbow him. That might be just what she needs to take her mind off being locked in a shipping container with Anthony DiNozzo. Because they do not know how long they will be stuck in there. Hopefully it will not be very long, because she does not think that she can take that. It would just become too awkward.

"I didn't peg you as the pony type," Tony speaks innocently.

The expected X-rated comment turns out to be in her head. And probably in his as well, knowing him. He probably just does not want to risk annoying her too much because they are locked in this box together. It is actually not a bad idea.

"Something tells me there was an X-rated retort as well," she says, rolling her eyes.

"I don't know why you would think that," is Tony's response.

She rolls her eyes at him again, at him and at his sarcastic response. He always has an X-rated joke ready at any moment, even in situations when comments with that rating are completely inappropriate. He even does it when Gibbs is around and in an absolutely terrible mood, and even when they are working on a case. It gets to her.

"Maybe it was your stellar record in these things," she replies.

"I am honored that you would say that," he says mockingly.

The sarcasm makes her want to roll her eyes at him yet again, especially since they both cannot seem to say anything that is not sarcastic. They should really put a hold to this before it starts turning more cruel, like it usually does with the two of them.

"I think we broke the record for the most sarcasm used within a minute," she keeps the conversation as light as she can under the circumstances.

He grins at her, and she is grinning right back at him, because this is just another one of their typical moments. And it is not awkward at all, and that makes it even better.

"Do you think we'll make the Guinness book of Records," Tony mocks.

"If we ever get out, you should find out," she replies.

Wow, now that was seriously gloomy and depressing. It is not something she would usually say, since she is normally more of a glass half-full type of person. But being locked in, and especially being locked in with him, that is making her seriously uncomfortable. It is seemingly driving her absolutely crazy.

"How very optimistic of you, Katie," he jokes.

Again, she chooses to roll her eyes at him, hoping - and knowing - the things her mother used to tell her are not true, that she will not get stuck this way.

"Don't call me Katie," she orders him for the umpteenth time.

"I wouldn't dare," he responds.

Really? Because if he would not dare calling her Katie, then who is the pod person who is calling her Katie all the darn time? He calls her Katie - or some other crazy nickname - more often than he calls her by her real name. Because apparently that would seem too personal for someone who can be considered a close friend.

"Didn't we already break the sarcasm record," she asks him.

Of course, that gets her one of his infamous smirks, one of the things that used to irritate her so much. Somehow, it is not that annoying anymore. It just means that they are starting to work together much more easily, without constant annoyance.

"Do you need a new challenge," he questions.

"No, you do," she responds. "How about staying quiet?"

But that is just asking the impossible. If there is anything he is absolutely unable to do for a long amount of time, it is keeping quiet. He always needs to have something to say, always has some smartass remark to make. There is never a quiet moment with him around, which can definitely get on her nerves from time to time.

"Do you want to be bored to death," he asks a rhetorical question.

"Not particularly, no," she states the obvious.

Nobody would want to be bored to death, that much is certain. Not that being bored to death is even scientifically possible, but the sentiment remains valid.

"Then I suggest we keep talking," he continues.

They usually have something to talk about in just about every situation. She will not comment on whether this conversation will lead to another one of their infamous fights, or if it will lead to an actual conversation. However, the latter is quite rare, considering that all they seemed to do is fight. Just not anymore.

"What do you want to do, play Truth or Dare," she asks skeptically.

Because that is something she has not done since she was in high-school and still dreaming of her first date and her first kiss. When she was so much more innocent than she is now, because of all the horrors she has witnessed.

"Well, now that you suggest it," Tony speaks with a grin.

"That is stuff for high school parties," she dismisses the idea.

She remembers stupid high school parties when that particular game was played, and the embarrassment that usually ensued for her. She was not particularly popular like her brothers and sister were, but she was popular enough to get noticed. And that usually led to embarrassing questions and even more embarrassing actions.

Speaking of embarrassment, if she has to stay in this container with him much longer, she will definitely embarrass herself by attempting to kiss him. That is one of the few things that could make their stay in here even more awkward than it already is.

"I don't know what else you want to do," he wonders.

"There is nothing to dare in here," she replies.

They are in a large container, just filled with boxes of counterfeit bills and some DVD's of movies she has never heard of before. What could they possibly use for daring the other person? Well, except losing articles of clothing, which will be Tony's suggestion.

"Oh, there absolutely is," Tony speaks with a lascivious grin.

_He looks so sexy when he grins like that. _Let's pretend she never thought that.

"No getting rid of any clothing," she immediately responds.

It would just be plain stupid to get into a stupid game of strip Truth or Dare in a shipping container that can be opened at any point in time. Which reminds her that they really need to be figuring out a plan to get out of that container before they are found by the criminal using the container to store the money and the strange DVD's.

"There is no possibility of a dare," Tony then admits.

He is finally acknowledging what she knew all along. Really, how he could think that this was a good idea in the first place? She has absolutely no idea.

"Unless you want to play Truth or Truth -," she proposes mockingly.

"Twenty questions," he then says.

Oh, like that is a much better idea than playing Truth or Dare. Both of the typically adolescent games are bound to end in embarrassment, especially when playing these games with him. And she is not up for any more embarrassment.

She needs to get the idea of kissing him out of her head.

"You have got to be kidding me," she sighs.

"I kid you not," Tony responds with a grin.

For once, he is being serious. Well, maybe that is not giving him the credit he deserves, because working as a federal agent comes with a certain level of seriousness. And he can be quite serious when it concerns the job. He is a good agent, after all.

"I am not playing twenty questions," she states in a definitive manner.

At this point in time, she is sitting down, leaning against one of the crates. Her feet are starting to ache from all of the walking around she has been doing, and she just needs to be sitting down for a while. Because even though all this ridiculous talk about playing adolescent games has distracted her, they still need to get out. Soon.

"I promise I'll be good," Tony swears, grinning at her.

"You," she asks, a total skeptic. "Good? Oh, this I have to see."

She knows him too well to be able to believe that. He is just the type to start asking the most embarrassing questions he can think of, and she will be forced to answer by the rules of the game. And there are things she does not want him to know, not ever.

"So you'll play," he asks her, bright-eyed.

"Of course not," she once again dismisses the idea.

Can he please just stop talking about this ridiculous game? Maybe then she will be able to focus on thinking of a plan to get the two of them out of this container. Because she really does not want to be stuck there until Valentine's day, or Easter. She would much prefer it if they got out before that. She is starting to develop cabin fever.

"Party Pooper," Tony responds with something similar to a pout.

"That is so very dignified of you," she mocks him.

Oh darn it, he looks darn cute with that pout of his. It makes her want to grin at him and cheer him up, but it also makes her want to lean in and - she is totally not finishing that thought. She did not just think that again. It never happened. It will never happen.

Of course, just when she is having annoying and awkward thoughts, the topic they have been discussing has run its natural course. Anything she would say about it now would just sound completely stupid, and she cannot seem to think of anything else, except for things that would just be severely embarrassing if he ever found out.

She cannot stop thinking about kissing him, and if they will be stuck here much longer she will not be able to deny herself anymore. And that would be bad.

"So, were you at Ziva's dinner," he breaks the silence.

How did he find out about that? He was never supposed to find out about that dinner, she made sure of that. When she found out that Ziva invited practically everyone except for him, she made sure that the rest of the team would not refer to the party. No one should tell him about it, to make sure that he would not feel excluded.

"She doesn't particularly like me," she hesitantly admits.

The animosity between her and the liaison officer is obvious to the entire team. She imagines that everyone was breathing a sigh of relief when she took a couple of days off to visit her family. That would seriously decrease the tension in the bullpen, making the work a lot more comfortable for everyone. She feels like it is her fault.

"Did she invite you," he cuts through the bullshit.

"Yes," she very reluctantly admits.

And he gets this look on his face that makes her wish that she had chosen to go with her first option when she found out Tony had not been invited. Since that option had been getting in Ziva's face and asking her in a very rude manner why the hell Tony had been excluded from the festivities, she had opted to stay civil instead.

"Okay," is the only word that escapes.

"I didn't go," she immediately tells him.

She refused to go when she found out that everyone save for Tony had been invited to the party. She has never believed in excluding people like that, and she could not believe that the rest of the team had done absolutely nothing about it.

"Why not," Tony questions her.

"I preferred spending time with you," she answers.

And if that is not going to enlarge his ego even further, than she - oh well, after hearing about Ziva's party, something like this would be needed. And if his ego does get out of hand, she will always be able to put him in his place again, with a couple of well-placed blows to his beloved ego. That is just necessary every once in a while.

"Really Katie," he asks with a smug grin.

"Can't you just take something seriously for once," she asks in response, exasperated.

Sometimes his inability to be serious just gets to her, even though it is one of the things she likes about him sometimes. When she takes just about everything seriously, she needs him to help her get things back into perspective. She needs him to crack one of his stupid jokes and make her laugh, when a case makes her feel like crap.

"Thank you," is his sincere response.

"It's fine," she blows it off. "You still owe me."

The sincere thanks had caught her completely off guard, especially after her comment about him never taking things seriously, so she just says the first thing that happens to cross her mind. Even thought it makes her sound stupid.

"For missing out on a dinner with someone you don't really like," Tony teases.

"For having to bear an evening with you," she says with a sigh.

She makes it sound like it is the worst thing in the world, and to be honest, sometimes it can be. But normally, it is really not all that bad. And they both know it.

"Now that's just wrong," he complains.

"I know," she agrees with a mischievous grin.

It is remarkable that he has not yet noticed that she is lying through her teeth about it being completely horrible. Usually, he would be the first person to call her on her bluff, because he is just like that. He always notices the little things.

"You were just fibbing," he then realizes.

"Fine," she acknowledges the truth. "You don't owe me."

That is what makes him such a good agent, the noticing of the little things. There are just some subtle details that he notices from time to time, or some things that he can get out of witnesses or potential suspects with his charm. Even though she remembers joking about this charm not existing. Everyone knows that it does exist.

"I do, just not for that," Tony changes her statement.

"The stalker," she remembers. "Right."

Is it bad that she had almost forgotten about that annoying woman? It probably is, since his stalker is the reason she has been getting closer to Tony. And she means getting closer in a purely "becoming friends"-kind of way.

"She has been pretty quiet lately," he seems relieved.

Which is good, because it would mean that they had gotten rid of her. It would mean the end of the charade, and that is definitely a good thing, since this charade has been terribly confusing. Everything will be much easier when they call off the charade. In particularly the way she acts around him. She will be able to go back to the way it was.

Only not, because she knows these feelings she has are not going to just go away that easily. She does not think she will be rid of these feelings anytime soon.

"Quiet should be good, right," she tries to cheer him up.

"Or infinitely more creepy," he mutters.

That is also a very real possibility, she knows as much. She remembers her former - temporary - stalker, and if she did not know that _he_ was there, it usually meant that he was up to no good and watching her most private moments.

"You have a point there," she admits.

"Yes, I do occasionally have those," he replies, shrugging his shoulders.

The comment makes her laugh out loud. It is not just what he is saying, but it is the tone he is using. It is a mixture of offhandedness and amusement. This is just another one of his typical things that she really likes about him. She is really starting to appreciate his sense of humor lately, and it has become one of his positive features instead of one that used to annoy her so much all the time. He makes her laugh openly now.

"Really," she pretends to be shocked. "I didn't know."

Of course, that just earns her one of his glares that make him look more like Gibbs than he will ever want to admit to. After a couple of years of working for the man, he has the stern look down to a T, and it is both amusing and sort of endearing.

"Oh, you're hilarious," he then says.

"Just really, really bored," is her response. "We're never getting out."

After all, being locked in a shipping container will do that to a person, will loosen them up a little. Her good mood at the moment has absolutely nothing to do with him.

"Well, if you don't think we'll get out of here," he starts something.

"Do I want to know what you are thinking of DiNozzo," she asks.

And he just has to ruin the moment with one of his leers and more inappropriate comments. Not that she was not freaked about the two of them having a moment while being locked in this container together. She knows the impulse of wanting to kiss him is bound to act up when they have a moment, and she must resist that impulse.

"Before we die in here," he starts, still leering at her.

Is he seriously going to try that one? Honestly, he should know that she is not that easy, even though she has been having serious feelings for him lately. She is not going to fall all over him because they might not get out of this.

"Stop while you're ahead, DiNozzo," she orders, "or I will make sure there will never be little DiNozzos walking around and bothering people."

"Katie dear, that would not be to your benefit," he dares to say.

It seems like he really is expecting her to do something now. And even though a part of her really wants to, another part of her is reminding her of the possible repercussions of her actions. She cannot go through another Kerry again. Gibbs would kill her.

"That is never going to happen," she explicitly makes it clear to him.

"You've thought about it," he refuses to listen.

She is willing to admit, at least to herself, that he is telling the truth. Indeed, she has thought about it, and more than once. Lately more than ever, with the thoughts of kissing him playing on a loop in her brain. And the thoughts are actually very pleasant, if not completely distracting her from any work that needs to be done.

Like figuring out how the heck they are going to get out of here.

"Why are you being such an ass all of a sudden," she says, annoyed by the arrogance of his presuming that she is just going to give in all of a sudden.

"I just," he seems to be having an internal debate of some sort.

And then he leans in, and it just seems like the right thing to do to lean in as well. She does not really think about it, she just acts. She stops herself not even an inch away from him, knowing that she will never be able to go back if she does this.

She draws back, not ready to cross this border just yet.

"This never happened," she tells him.

For a federal agent, she sure is a chicken.

AN: The Dutch team rules! And Julia, this is the start of the Tate Wave…


	12. OutSWAKed

-1**Chapter twelve: OutSWAKed **

Summary: A suspicious letter. A SWAK. Tension arises.

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

AN: I just had to bring it up again, didn't I? It's like a rule. I constantly have to bring up SWAK, and Terminal Leave too, if I can. Also, there is a faked part from McGee's new book in the chapter. I'm going off what I know of the aliases. And yes, I'm evil.

Another day in the office, and another day of enduring the evil eye from a certain Mossad liaison officer. She does not particularly understand why Ziva does not seem to like her, but she does not particularly care anyway. It is not as if she likes the other woman either, especially not because of her constantly worming herself into the team.

"Tony, this one's for you," Ziva speaks, proving her suspicions.

Lately, she has been trying to at least be civil with the other female agent, and that is working out reasonably well. But maybe that is just because she has been spending more time just with Tony lately, and a little more time with Abby. And when she sees Ziva handing Tony an envelope, she is just getting more annoyed.

"Give it to Abby," Tony's voice is harsh. "Don't open it."

She has not heard him that upset since she got shot on that roof. And since Gibbs killed _him_ months ago, this does not bode any good for the entire time, especially not now that Tony's face has gone completely pale. Vampire pale.

"Tony," she asks, hesitantly.

"I don't understand," Ziva speaks. "It is addressed to you."

This must be something serious, and Ziva does not seem to understand, so she gets up from her desk and walks across the bullpen to Tony's desk. When she takes a look at the letter that is still in Ziva's hands, she immediately turns paler than Tony. Because right there, on the front side of the letter, is a large red SWAK.

"A SWAK," she states. "I'll bring it to Abby."

The forensic scientist will know if this SWAK is as dangerous as its predecessor. She does not suspect it to be, but she knows how sensitive of a subject this is to Tony, so she is willing to humor him. She will take the letter to Abby.

"Don't open it," Tony orders. "Not under any circumstance."

He is tremendously scared, and she is not going to comment on that. She knows how bad it got the last time, she knows that better than anyone else.

"I know, Tony," she assures him. "I remember."

That time when they were stuck in isolation together is something she is never going to forget, even if she turns eighty. Sometimes she still dreams about him, seeing him coughing and gasping for breath. But then she remembers it ended well.

"Be careful, okay Kate," he requests.

"I always am," she replies with a slight smile on her face.

The skeptic look on Tony's face proves that he in no way believes that. He is probably thinking of the last time they got a letter like this, just like her. Just like everyone who was there last year will be when they found out about the new letter. She knows that Abby will rush to discover if this one is as dangerous as its predecessor.

"You do remember the last time, right," Tony asks, a total skeptic.

"That was obviously a mistake," she responds, rolling her eyes.

She has almost forgotten that Ziva is still standing there, next to him, with a look in her eyes that belies her confusion. Of course, she had not been attached to NCIS yet when they got that disastrous letter. She had almost forgotten about that, since it seems to have been yesterday sometimes. And Ziva has been with the team for a while now.

"I - No," he starts stuttering. "We'll talk about that later."

Coming from him, the stuttering is almost endearing. He prides himself in being suave, and his momentary inability to form full sentences is the complete opposite of that. She would have laughed if that had been a little more appropriate.

"I'm leaving now," she announces, smile hidden.

………………

Special agent Cathy walks out of the bullpen, carefully holding the envelope that seems to be the most nerve-wrecking thing that has happened in the office this week. Special agent Titus McGregor is just walking into the bullpen, with a confused look on his face, which increases when he encounters two of his colleagues standing at agent Tommy's desk.

"I don't understand," Lisa shouts out.

Well, the Mossad officer only has a limited understanding of the past that the tight-knit group of special agents shares. Her patience for references to this shared past is also quite limited, which is something that gets on the nerves of most agents, agents Tommy and Cathy in particular. Titus McGregor, however, resolves to explain everything to his confused colleague. As soon as he finds out what is going on.

"Where is Cathy going," McGregor asks.

"She's bringing an envelope to Amy," Lisa answers. "It was addressed to Tommy."

Everyone has seen that the relationship between agents Cathy and Tommy has changed since they both had near death experiences last year. That is why agent Tibbs, the team leader, has been in such an antisocial mood lately. His rules specifically mention that romance between agents never works out. His rules are not being followed.

"Tommy," agent McGregor asks, completely incredulous.

"They were very freaked off," Lisa misuses American idiom yet again.

The younger agent looks at the annoyed look on Tommy's face at yet another wrong use of American idiom, but he can also very easily spot the worried look the other agent is hiding behind the annoyance. Something must be severely wrong for his colleague to look that worried, looking in the direction that Cathy had just left in. Of course, Tommy worrying for Cathy has almost become a common thing. Still, it worries him.

"Freaked out," Titus corrects her.

"Cathy called it a smack," Lisa continues. "No, that wasn't it, a stack? No."

Agent McGregor's worst fears are coming to life. The phantoms of his past rise to the surface again, and they will remain haunting him until this case is solved.

"A SWAK," he identifies the problem out loud.

"Yes, exactly," the Mossad officer agrees. "Thank you McGregor."

He barely acknowledges the thankfulness coming from his fellow agent, because he is simply that worried about the rest of the team. If this particular envelope's contents will be even remotely horrific as its predecessor's, the entire team is in grave danger.

"Tommy," McGregor calls out. "Did you tell Cathy not to open it?"

Opening this particular envelope could very well have disastrous consequences. Agent McGregor is not the only one who remembers what happened the last time a similar envelope was delivered to special agent Tommy Diaz. Yes, the last envelope had very nearly claimed the lives of two of the special agents attached to the team.

"Of course I did," Tommy responds. "Cathy's a smart girl."

"Of course," agent McGregor agrees. "Amy will remember as well."

While agent Diaz has lost his heart to his charming Irish partner, agent McGregor has lost his heart to the beautiful Goth in the forensics lab of the agency. Unfortunately for him, this love does not seem to be mutual. Amy is a bit commitment phobic.

"I don't understand," Lisa speaks. "What is so bad about this SWAK?"

The question that special agent Lisa Aziz poses is a valid one, especially considering that she was not yet attached to the team when the hazardous envelope arrived. However, Tommy and himself, they know what the reason for the worry is.

"Gosh, I don't know," Tommy mocks. "Maybe the damn pneumonic plague?"

This is said in Tommy's typical sarcastic tone of voice, a typical tone of voice that has been used on special agent McGregor on several occasions. But of course, the aforementioned special agent is not deterred by that, because he knows that this practice is merely the senior field agent's version of a hazing ritual.

"Plague," officer Aziz calls out in surprise. "Hasn't that died out centuries ago?"

Unfortunately for the NCIS team, and Tommy in particular, the plague has not yet completely died out. Several micro-biologists still use genetically modified versions of the disease to create antidotes to it, just in case the disease is used as a terrorist weapon.

"That's what we thought until last year," Tommy says. "Some whack job sent us plague."

The distant look in agent Diaz's eyes is evidence of his worries for his partner. Even though Tommy would rather die than admit his feelings for Cathy Dodd, and she would rather die than openly admit her feelings for him, everyone in the agency knows how these two agents feel about one another. They are just that obvious.

"In the mail," agent Titus McGregor adds.

Cathy has not yet returned from her journey to Amy's lab, which is not unusual, because the women have become close friends over the last two years or so. However, in this particular situation, now that everyone is worried about that envelope, he would have hoped that she would have been back by now.

"With a SWAK," Lisa finally starts to understand the full story.

"Exactly," Titus approves. "Tommy caught it. Cathy was in danger too."

Agent Diaz was the one opening the envelope, but Cathy had a cold at that time and was therefore also in danger of getting seriously sick from the powder in the letter.

"Can we not talk about this anymore," Tommy requests.

The senior field agent is looking increasingly uncomfortable, probably because the combination of McGregor telling this rather personal story to a colleague Tommy is not particularly attached to, and of Cathy still being gone. The worry is obviously starting to eat away at him slowly, but McGregor needs to finish the story first.

"Tommy got really sick," Titus McGregor continues relaying the story to the Mossad officer. "Cathy pretended to be sick as well so she could -"

"Probie," Tommy rushes to admonish him.

McGregor now realizes that this moment signals the end of his storytelling. Tommy has spoken, and considering the mood he is in at the moment, it would not be a wise decision to continue the story. Only if he would prefer to be smacked on the back of the head.

"Sorry Tommy," McGregor apologizes.

Lisa is looking at the both of them with confusion written all over her face. She does not seem to understand the significance of the moment, how that incident changed the group-dynamics and especially the relationship between Cathy and Tommy. The fact that Cathy stayed with Tommy, even if she was not sick, means that she cared - and still cares - about him in a way that goes beyond being just partners.

"This is one of those had to be there things," Lisa accepts the ending.

"Yeah, it is," agent McGregor finally decides to drop it.

When he looks over at Tommy, he notices that the older agent is staring at the elevator Cathy disappeared in, the one Cathy should be coming out of soon. The look on Tommy's face is obviously one of worry, and McGregor moves to talk to him.

"Cathy will be fine," McGregor assures his coworker.

"Why wouldn't she be," Tommy brushes the whole thing off immediately.

Please, McGregor is quite intelligent, and this enables him to see through the front his colleague is putting up at the moment. Even though Tommy Diaz knows very well that Cathy can take care of herself, he is still very worried about her from time to time. The entire team still remembers Lavi, the Hamas terrorist that had an obsession with LJ Tibbs' team. Lavi nearly killed Cathy, and Tommy had never been more worried.

"You look worried," Titus states the obvious.

"I'm not," Tommy immediately denies the obvious.

Even Lisa has noticed it now, and between Lisa and McGregor, the Mossad liaison officer is most likely to call him on it. Tommy would never slap her on the back of the head, something he tends to do often when it comes to Titus McGregor.

"Bullcrap Diaz," Lisa shoots at him.

"It's bullshit, Li-sah," Tommy barks at her.

And in the midst of another annoyance session between Tommy Diaz and Lisa Aziz, Catherine "Cathy" Dodd returns to the bullpen.

……………

The minute she steps back into the bullpen, all eyes are on her. She seems to be interrupting yet another argument between Tony and Ziva, and McGee seems to be losing his patience with the two of them. She grins and shows her empty hands.

"Abby's running tests on it right now," she announces.

When she arrived at the lab, holding the suspicious letter, Abby did not even notice it at the beginning, lost as she was in the music she was playing - Android Lust. But when she started talking to the lab tech, her friend immediately noticed how worried she sounded, and she started the tests that will prove if the content of the letter is dangerous.

"Are you okay," Tony immediately asks.

"I'm fine, DiNozzo," she responds, rolling her eyes at him.

Tony sounds even more worried than she is, which makes sense because of what the last letter did to him. They both do not particularly want to go back to that blue room in Bethesda, but he has much more reason to be worried than she is.

"I'm taking you to Ducky," he starts an argument.

"I didn't open the envelope," she replies, starting to get seriously annoyed.

He sounds way too worried about an envelope that might not even have the slightest connection to their previous SWAK-case. Who knows, maybe it is just a letter from one of Tony's secret admirers or one of his many ex-girlfriends. Personally, she would put her money on the stalker. She has been reasonably quiet lately. Too quiet.

"Ziva, with me and Kate," Tony orders. "We're going to test you two."

The Mossad liaison officer looks extremely unsure about what is going on. She is not sure how much Ziva knows about the previous case, but she has a nagging feeling that McGee has spilled everything when she was at the lab.

"Tony, they're fine," McGee enters the argument.

"They touched the envelope," Tony argues.

Whoah, this is seriously getting out of bounds. Nobody died from touching the envelope; nobody was even infected from just touching it. It is breathing in actual diseased particles that is the dangerous part of the letter. And that is if the two envelopes are even connected to each other. He seems way to concerned to notice that part of the equation.

"Tony," she assures him. "I never opened it. Nothing is wrong."

Nothing is wrong with her, but something has to be seriously wrong with him. Tony is usually much more levelheaded than he is being now. Something has to be wrong.

"Do you remember the last time," he remarks.

"Excuse us for a while," she turns to face McGee and Ziva.

McGee immediately understands that she really needs to talk to Tony in private, but Ziva does not seem to grasp the concept. So McGee almost drags her off with some lame excuse about how they should be checking if Abby knows anything. The second McGee and Ziva have left the vicinity of the bullpen, she turns to face Tony.

"Tony, this is insane," she tells him.

"It's the plague, Kate," he replies. "I'm not taking any risks."

The chance that this envelope has anything to do with the plague is minimal. She is not sure exactly what happened to the woman who sent it the last time, but she doubts that she will try again. Not after she found out the truth about her daughter's case.

"As long as the envelope is closed, nothing will happen," she argues. "It might not even be the plague this time. It might just be one of your admirers."

Any one of his many, many admirers or ex-girlfriends could have sent him a letter with a SWAK on it. Maybe with a something gummy bear scented on it, since he recognized the lips and the scent of the previous letter. For all she knows, it could be one of his many backup girls. And she is not bitter about it at all. Or jealous.

"I'm still not taking any chances," he stubbornly refuses to listen.

"I get that you're worried," she tries to convince him. "I was there the last time."

Not that they could forget that, because every conversation seems to go back to the last time, especially of late. Sometimes, she wants to forget about it.

"Why were you," Tony suddenly asks.

He cannot be asking her that. She does not have an answer for that, still does not know the reason why she stayed with him in the blue room in Bethesda. And now that he is asking her about it, she will have to come up with some sort of answer soon.

"Do you really want to talk about this now," she questions him.

"It's as good a time as any," is his response.

Well, discussing this in the middle of the bullpen when anyone could come in at any second is not really her idea of a perfect serious conversation. Especially not with Gibbs probably lurking around here. It would not be the right time to have a conversation, and especially not about this particular topic. It would just be weird.

"I don't want to talk about this," she speaks. "Not here."

She knows that McGee and Ziva could come back at any minute, and Gibbs will probably be back soon as well. They can't risk speaking about things like this.

"You want me to take you home and get you in bed," Tony asks.

The lascivious leer on his face is more than enough evidence that the bed in question would not just be used for sleeping. There would be a myriad of different activities she really does not want to be thinking of at the moment, only she really is thinking of.

"I really need to start thinking about what I say," she replies with a fond smile.

"I don't know, I thought it was kind of hot," he teasingly speaks.

Of course he would. That would be just like him. She remembers the way he looked at her after she said it, eyes darkened, all leers and lust. She remembers that very well.

"You would," she responds, shaking her head.

"Of course," is the reaction to that, accompanied by another leer.

Maybe the teasing has calmed him down a little. At least, she hopes that he has calmed down a little, because they will probably need to start working again soon. And he cannot afford worrying about the stupid envelope for the entire day.

"Now would you stop worrying," she asks him.

"I can't help it, Katie," he replies sheepishly. "I'm worried about you."

Besides that being seriously annoying, it is also kind of sweet. And that is what worries her the most, him being sweet. It makes everything just a little more awkward than it already is, and it is already more than awkward enough for the both of them. They really should talk about things, and soon. But just not in the middle of the bullpen.

"I'm a big girl, Tony," she tells him. "I'll be fine."

And because of some weird impulsive feeling, she just walks closer to him, wraps her arms around him and gives him a hug. His muscles are completely tense in the beginning, which almost makes her want to give him a massage. But then he relaxes.

"I'm not going anywhere, Tony," she assures him.

His arms find their place on her waist, and she grins contently, knowing that nobody is going to see any of this. This is actually sort of nice.

"And we'll talk about the last time," Tony asks her.

"Sure," she gives her consent. "If you want to."

When he is talking, his breath is exhaled near her neck, and the gooseflesh that ensues because of that makes her shiver. It is distracting her from the topic at hand, and at the moment, she wholeheartedly welcomes that distraction.

Until she starts to think about exactly how easy it would be to pull back just a little, just enough to kiss him. That seems to all that she can think about lately. And when she remembers the last time she let herself follow that thought, she shivers again. And she is not sure if that is a bad or a good thing. Tony must have noticed.

"I want," is his answer to the whole thing.

"You would," she responds with a grin.

It is because of his bad influence that her mind is now permanently stuck in a place that most people tend to call "the gutter". He is usually the one making all kinds of double entendres, and she is the one elbowing him for it. But lately, she can only grin at most of his lame jokes. And now she is stuck with the jokes as well.

"Your mind went straight into the gutter," Tony suddenly notices.

Slowly, he removes his arms from their place around her waist, and she almost regrets having to let go of him. Only not. The bullpen is not a good place for hugs.

"What can I say, it's your bad influence," she tells him.

When she hears someone coming closer, she immediately takes a couple of steps back, and tries to lose the grin on her face. When she notices that it is their boss walking into the bullpen, she immediately gets back to her desk and sits down at her chair, hoping that she is not going to regret the hugging that much. What will Gibbs say?

"What is going on here," Gibbs barks at the both of them.

"Nothing boss," Tony denies everything.

Judging by the look on Gibbs' face, he does not believe a word of that. She will have to come up with an explanation for it all, because she knows that Gibbs probably will not believe anything Tony has to say at this point. She will have to speak up.

"We had a suspicious envelope," she explains. "I got it to Abby."

Gibbs immediately looks at her with that Special Agent look of his. He looks at her like she is a suspect in interrogation, something that used to make her nervous when she was first assigned to the team, but now she has gotten used to it. It does not bother her anymore, not at all. It is just the way Gibbs behaves with everyone.

"Suspicious how," Gibbs asks pointedly.

"It was another SWAK, Gibbs," she continues the explanation.

He will hopefully stop talking about it, just to humor them. He was not at Bethesda last year, at least not for the main events. And the scolding she got afterwards was a lot milder than she had expected, coming from Gibbs. He is not that much of a bastard.

"Right," Gibbs closes the topic. "Let me know if Abby finds anything."

The team leader sits back at his desk, while she looks around to see McGee and Ziva looking into the bullpen. They are probably trying to find out if it is safe to come back to their desks. The idea is actually kind of laughable, at least, to her.

"Can we come back now," Ziva asks.

She just knows that Tony has some kind of dirty reply for that ready, so she shoots a glare at him, just daring him to say anything that could be interpreted wrong.

"Don't say a word," she warns Tony.

"I wasn't going to," he protests.

Of course he was planning to say something, and it probably would have been something that would have earned him a smack to the back of the head from their boss. They both know better than that, so she settles for glaring at him.

"Try that with someone who doesn't know you like I do," she says, rolling her eyes.

"Since when am I on Oprah," is Gibbs' response to their banter.

Ziva and McGee are getting back to their desks while at the same time trying to hide their laughter because of Gibbs commenting on what is said. She, however, is not very amused by the whole thing. Comments by Gibbs always tend to make everything seem a lot more awkward than it actually is. And she is really starting to hate awkwardness.

"I'll check if Abby knows anything," Tony speaks, rushing to get away.

"I'll go with Tony," she says, getting up from her desk.

As she hastily walks away from the bullpen and everyone in it, she just happens to catch Tony's eye. And he is looking as uncomfortable as she feels. Well, at least Abby should be getting the results of the contents of the envelope any minute now.

AN: There is that pesky word again. Awkward. And a note for Julia: Tate-wave!


	13. No Right Words

-1**Chapter thirteen: No right words**

Summary: Talking isn't easy. Especially about a SWAK.

Disclaimer: Still not mine. Duh.

AN: Finally, they talk it out. Should have been in the show. And yeah, it's been too long. My apologies.

Maybe letting him into her apartment is not that good of an idea, she thinks as she unlocks the door to her sanctuary. This will be the first time that Tony actually gets to see the inside of her apartment, and she is particularly nervous about the whole thing.

"So this is casa de Kate," Tony speaks with an appreciative grin.

It is already sort of late, somewhere between nine and ten o'clock in the evening, but they have to finish their talk before she can finally get some much needed sleep. Gibbs has had them working extra hours all week, and he did not even let them go when Abby proved that the envelope's contents were not at all dangerous.

"Do you want to watch a movie," she asks him hesitantly, not knowing what to say or where to start. "I don't have a lot of them, but you can pick one."

She points him to the drawer where she puts the few DVD's she owns, knowing that he will most likely find romantic movies in there, exactly the type of movies that he would hate. She just does not want to watch any more action after a long day's work.

"Sure," he answers, rummaging through the drawer. "Any preferences?"

"Not really," she responds with a shrug.

When he picks out her copy of the Princess Bride, she looks at him in surprise, because he definitely does not seem to be the romance kind. Then she remembers all of the crazy antics in the movie, a thing that would definitely suit Tony. So she starts grinning as the movie starts playing and Tony looks back at her with a lazy smile.

"Sit, Katie dear," he orders as he sits down on her couch.

"I'm not your dog, Anthony love," is her reply.

If there is anything she does not particularly like at all, it is being ordered around, especially by a man. That just brings out the feminist side of her, and even though she needs to stand up for herself from time to time, this is not the time for that.

"But standing throughout the entire movie," Tony starts to advise her.

She shoots him an annoyed look as she falls down on her couch, finding herself sitting right beside him. The superior grin on his face makes her want to elbow him.

"I'm not doing it because you ordered me to," she insists.

"I never thought you would," he responds, still grinning.

Because she does not want to see his smug grin at the moment, she turns her head towards the screen, where Buttercup and Westley share their last moments before he has to leave. She tries to let go and immerse herself in the movie, but it does not seem to work, because he is still distracting her. Something he seems to do a lot lately.

"You're mocking me," she states, glaring at him.

As the narrator talks about how Westley was killed by the Dread Pirate Roberts, and Tony grins at that name, she just rolls her eyes and elbows him.

"I would never," he replies.

"Of course you wouldn't," she rolls her eyes at him.

They both know he does not mean a word of what he is saying at the moment. But it is not annoying her that much, at least not at the moment, so she decides to let it go with a sigh and another roll of her eyes. She turns to face the screen as he draws her in closer to him. She tenses, because this is unfamiliar territory. She does not dare to move.

"Relax, Katie," Tony tells her.

"Is that an order," she tries to hide her shallow breathing.

It has been a while since she has been this close to a man, and that might be a decent explanation for why she is feeling so comfortable almost snuggling on the couch with Tony DiNozzo of all people. Well, it is not like he is that bad. Because if he really is that bad, how twisted would that make her for falling for him?

"I wouldn't dream of ordering you around," he exaggerates.

"You're so annoying," she says, but she smiles fondly.

When she thinks about this later, she will probably accuse him of taking the initiative in this snuggling, but right now she will admit that it was actually her starting this whole thing. Merely because of warmth issues, of course. But still, the idea that this thing that is still getting stranger by the minute, that she started this thing.

"I'm not a teddy bear, Katie," Tony speaks mockingly.

"Don't ruin it," she orders him.

Because she is too uncomfortable thinking about why she is getting so close to him, she tries to focus on the movie again. Only it does not seem to be working.

"Shutting up now," he actually listens for once.

"Good," she responds with a satisfied grin.

There is this thing called denial, and she cannot help but feel that this denial is the main thing when it comes to this odd relationship between her and Tony. She does not know exactly how to classify him anymore, and that gets to her because she usually prides herself in categorizing everything just right. She likes the order of it all, while he always enjoys disorder wherever he can get it. That just makes it more difficult.

They are very different people, and somehow that just seems to work out. In a strictly professional work-relationship sense, of course. It is why they make such a good team; they complement each other perfectly. She likes working with him.

It is just that lately they have been more than colleagues, that lately they have been crossing the border into "friends"-territory, and she fears that it has become even more than that. She would not just snuggle with just any of her male friends, and she thinks that she knows why she does it with him. She just does not want to admit it.

This is more than friendship, and they have been tiptoeing over that line day by day, until now, where she suddenly finds herself in the middle of something. But she still does not know exactly what this something is. And that bothers her.

Because even though she knows what her feelings for him mean, she has not admitted her feelings to anyone, let alone talked to him about it. And until she does, they will be stuck in some sort of in between place between friends and something more. If only talking about it would not involve talking about that almost kiss.

"Don't think you can keep avoiding the subject," Tony suddenly speaks up.

She actually forgot that the reason why he came to her apartment in the first place was to talk about why she stayed with him in Bethesda last year. She is not exactly sure how much of the forgetting was done on purpose and how much was accidental. She is still not sure how to explain it to him. She still does not really know her reasons.

"I guess you caught on, huh," she asks with a sheepish grin.

The movie is still playing, but she has no real idea what is going on at the moment, because she has been too caught up in her thoughts for the last couple of minutes.

"If it's really this difficult a topic for you," he starts out.

"No, it's fine," she interrupts him. "I guess you kind of deserve an explanation."

So, this is going to be the day that she finally really talks about it again. She does know that something like this should not be taken lightly. She recognizes the significance of that moment, both for him and for her. That moment might have been the start of whatever this thing between the two of them is. That day started it all.

"I would like to know," he grudgingly admits.

This means that she will have to tell him now, even though she still is not sure what she is going to say, not even at this point. She is still not completely sure of her reasons for what she did, and the reasons that she can think of are not reasons she particularly wants to discuss with him. Because she is not sure what he will think. And she is not even sure if she is actually ready to admit everything about these possible reasons.

"I was not sure why I did it at the time," she starts her story. "I mean, we barely got along half of the time and here I was risking possible infection with the plague just to stay with you? Brad Pitt thought I was seriously crazy, and I kind of agreed with him."

The look on his face is generally understanding, with some confusion. She can understand that, because she is not being very clear about the whole thing.

"Guess that's why he never asked you on that date," Tony lightens the mood.

When the plague was no longer threatening Tony's life, she was so busy considering the ramifications of what she had done that she almost forgot about the handsome doctor who had asked her out. She was too focused on Tony at the time, but she cannot let him know about that. So she just smiles at him while elbowing him at the same time.

"Could be," she hesitantly responds, still not wanting to get into this particular story. "It took a while for me to figure out why. I'm still not really okay with the answer. I started wondering if I would have done the same for the rest of the team."

After everything, when she was lying in that hospital bed, she had a lot of time to think about everything that had happened. When these considerations turned to him, she had refused to think any further about that topic. Of course, that had not worked.

"You would," Tony is convinced. "It's just who you are."

He must think of her as some sort of saint if that is really what he believes. She does not doubt that people see her as an inherently good person, but she is not spending her nights helping the helpless and protecting the downtrodden. She spends enough time trying to help people at work, and that is enough for her. No extra heroic.

"You have a much more positive image of me than I have," she tells him.

"You're a good person, Katie dear," Tony insists.

Because honestly, she knows much better than that. She has made stupid mistakes, and done things that required a confession at church afterwards. She has killed multiple times, and she has had blood on her hands. She is not that good.

"Point is that I wouldn't," she continues. "For Abby, sure. She's my best friend. But for McGee? Gibbs? Ducky? Palmer? I don't think I would have. But I did it for you."

That revelation had really shocked her when she first thought of it. She knew she would do something like this for Abby in a heartbeat, but she had never considered doing something like this for Tony until she actually, you know, did it. But then again, it is common wisdom that it always takes something like that to make you see.

"If you don't want to talk about this," Tony starts.

"Am I making you uncomfortable," she asks him.

He does not look particularly uncomfortable. He looks kind of interested in the story she has to tell him, and she is not sure whether that is good or bad.

"No," he vehemently denies it. "No. It's just that you seem uncomfortable."

The fact that he notices how uncomfortable she is with telling him everything is something that she had not really expected, especially not coming from him. He used to live for making her as uncomfortable as he could possibly manage, and the complete one-eighty he has made over the last couple of months is surprising.

"I guess I am," she dares to admit.

Before everything started changing on her, she would rather have died than admitted to a weakness in front of Tony. It still surprises her how much has changed. But whether that change is bad or good is something that she still does not really know.

"You don't have to," he tells her.

"Wow, serious Tony," she jokes. "I'm not used to this."

Yet another dig at his character, just to get herself out of an uncomfortable situation. She should really stop saying those things to make herself feel better.

"You shouldn't get used to it," he warns with a grin. "This is only temporary."

When he says that, she can only smile at him. Of course, she shakes her head in a disapproving manner as well, just so his ego will not completely out of bounds. Someone has to make sure he does not become too arrogant, and that is usually her task.

"Let's just forget this,' she says. "I'm bound to sound like an idiot anyway."

The clock shows that it is almost eleven o'clock, and she has to stifle a yawn, because it would not do to fall asleep with the movie still playing, even if she has not been paying any attention to it. She still has a visitor, and she cannot fall asleep, especially not when they still have not completely finished their conversation.

"Is my company that boring," Tony asks her, teasing.

"Shut up, DiNozzo," she immediately responds.

The tone of the conversation is constantly shifting from lighthearted to much more serious and tense, and that is starting to get to her. Because she was already tired when she came home, this makes it that much more draining.

"I think I would have done the same thing if it was you," he then softly admits. "And Gibbs would have killed me for it. And it would have been worth it."

She wonders how it is that he finds just the right words to say, and she gets to feel like the high school freshman with a stutter and a crush on the quarterback. Because somehow he has the ability to make her feel like the dork she was back in high school, which is definitely not a good thing. And she is going to change that. Soon. When she knows exactly how to change it. Which will probably take a while.

"This is really weird, isn't it," she asks wryly.

"Give me a minute," Tony responds, "I'll think of something to lighten the mood."

That comment already lightens the mood, and maybe the change from the high school dork to sophisticated Kate is closer than she thinks. She already knows a couple of ways to mock him like she always does. Exactly like it used to be, when banter was harmless.

"A minute," she mocks him. "It takes you that long to think?"

Ten points to her, she thinks as she considers sticking her tongue out at him and risking losing the whole maturity things she has going for her. Somehow, he always brings out her inner child, whether that child is the insecure high school kid or the mischievous girl who used to play pranks on her older brothers and sister.

"You're so nice to me," he says with a healthy dose of sarcasm.

"I know," she replies, proudly grinning at him.

As she moves to a more comfortable spot on her couch, interestingly enough just a little bit closer to him, her eyes again start to close. She is fighting to stay awake.

"I think your halo is showing some spots," Tony casually remarks.

"Knock it off, Tony," she mutters, already starting to drift off.

Her eyes are closing, and she cannot seem to keep them open, no matter how hard she seem to try. As long she does not drool on his shoulder, she will probably be fine.

_Warm. Nice. Tony. Not good. _

AN: How cute. Isn't it?


	14. Bagel Bribery

-1**Chapter fourteen: Bagel Bribery**

Summary: Another morning after. With breakfast.

Disclaimer: My Tony leaves cute notes. Was that ever on the show?

AN: There we go again. Remember me being evil.

When her alarm clock starts beeping loudly, she breaks through the sleepy daze she was in to find the off button for the darn thing. She knows exactly what time it is when she finally finds the button, but what she does not know is what happened between watching a movie with Tony last night and waking up in bed now.

She just knows that there is no way that this can be good. One, because she does not remember falling asleep. Two, because she does not remember getting herself in bed and kicking off her shoes. Three, because she does not remember changing. And four, the worst one, she does not remember kicking Tony out of her apartment.

This does not have to mean anything, she decides. So she looks around her, and notices that her side of the bed was the only one that has been used, effectively eliminating the worst theories she could think of at the moment. Also, she is not naked.

In fact, she is still wearing the clothes she wore before her blackout. Which is another plus, because it means that Tony has not undressed her. That would have been one of the most awkward things she has ever experienced.

"DiNozzo, why didn't you wake me up," she calls out through the apartment.

No response, which probably means that he is not in the apartment. She is more annoyed about that than she really wants to be, which makes her annoyed with herself. She should not mind that he left without telling her anything. She should be happy about it, only she cannot bring herself to feel happy about it. He could have said goodbye.

"So he just tucked me in and left," she mutters. "Always a mystery."

Well, him not staying over at her apartment is a good thing, because there is no way that would not have ended in awkwardness, especially with his tendency to make lewd comments about pretty much everything. Also, she does not have a guestroom.

About five minutes after her alarm clock started beeping, she actually manages to get herself out of bed and on her way to the shower. It is then that she notices a note written in something that closely resembles either Chinese or hieroglyphics, lying right next to her alarm clock. So he left a note. Strangely thoughtful, considering it's DiNozzo.

"_Katie,"_ it reads, to which she groans and then reminds herself that she really needs to "convince" him to stop calling her Katie. "_Sorry I left. But you'd kill me if I had woken you up. See you in the morning, Tony."_

He is probably right, since she has violent tendencies when she is asleep, something he experienced for himself when she stayed over at his place that time. And it would really be too weird if he showed up at work with a black eye.

The grin on her face has nothing to do with the note he left her. At least, that is what she is telling herself. She is still telling herself that when there's a knock on the door.

"I brought bagels," she hears Tony calling out.

Denial is getting a little harder at the moment, especially when she is feeling something closely resembling butterflies when she hears his voice. She promised herself that she was not going to act like a lovesick high school girl anymore. But here she is again, almost too nervous to open up the door for him. She is really being an idiot.

"Are you resorting to bribery," she asks him.

"Only if it keeps me alive," Tony responds.

Even though she has threatened to kill him many, many times, she could never actually go ahead and do it. She might admit she has been tempted a couple of times, but never seriously. She is not a murderer - only she has shot people - and she really does not want him dead. But that is something she really does not want to think about.

"I could never kill you," she says after she opens the door.

He is standing at her door with bagels from the bakery across the street. He waves the bag in her face as she grins and lets him in her apartment yet again. She stands back against the door as he deliberately seems to brush past her instead of just walking through.

"I know that, Katie," he tells her, stepping in even closer.

"I would never want to," she admits to him.

She closes the door, because she would not want to give the other people on her floor a show. The last time she forgot to close the door, she had to endure a speech from seventy-three year old Mrs. Jacobs about how people did not want to see that and about how a self-respecting woman should just close the door. Once was more than enough for that.

He leans in the second she closes the door, and he kisses her softly on the lips. Of course, knowing the two of them, the kiss heats up pretty fast. When she finally lets go of him, she is struggling for breath and he is panting a little as well.

"Be kind, rewind," he teases with a smug grin on his face. "Let's do that again."

If he wants to do it again, she is definitely not going to protest. As a matter of fact, she might have to do the complete opposite. She wants him to kiss her again.

So, when he does lean in and kiss her again, she is pleased. Very pleased. Pleased enough to start kissing him back in a way that would be cut out if this were a movie. She is almost a little embarrassed about it, but it just feels good. She needs to let go.

"Tony," his name escapes as a half-moan.

That startles her so much that she jumps up in bed. She opens her eyes and realizes that she is alone in her apartment, and on her way to being very late for work. There is no note next to her bed, no proof of any other presence here throughout the night. That scares her, because that would mean that she wanted him there, but he was not there.

"What the heck was that," she mutters, seriously annoyed with herself.

Not to mention embarrassed. She still has to go to work and face him again, which is bound to be awkward after this stupid dream or fantasy.

And she still has something to ask him today.

……………

When she enters the office, she is still blushing. She is still stuck on that stupid dream she had about him. Actually, it felt more like a fantasy, which would make it the second one she has had about him. This year. Because - oh heck, she is not going to think of those days when she had first met him. That was purely based on his looks.

Even though she is still incredibly embarrassed, she walks straight towards him the minute she enters the bullpen. She will have to confront him, and sooner is better than later. She really does not need any extra awkwardness today.

"I need a favor," she tells him.

Why is she doing this again? Because she has no one else she can ask for this, and who knows what her mother will come up with if she does not ask anyone to go with her to this thing. Knowing her mother, she will probably set her up with some idiotic guy who still thinks that all women should get married and take care of children instead of actually getting a job. And she will be forced to hurt him and ruin the whole thing.

"Katie, I don't do sexual favors," is his reply. "But maybe I can make an exception."

She really should have expected something like that. She has to elbow him anyway to make sure he does not get out of line, even though the images flashing through her mind do not seem to be that bad. Okay, it is starting to seem kind of good. And that is bad.

"Why did I even bother," she asks herself.

"Because I'm sexy," Tony answers with a pleased smirk.

And there goes his ego again. Even though a lot of women - herself included, probably - think he is sexy, he tends to think even more highly of himself than they do.

"Need a little help with your ego there," she questions.

They still banter with each other normally, but there is so much subtext that the true meaning is getting harder and harder to decipher. She knows there is something there - at least, on her part. Even though he constantly alludes to things, she is not sure of what feelings are there on his side. They are both to proud to just talk about it.

"You were being serious," he then asks her.

"No shit Sherlock," she mocks him.

How should she talk about this? Things are in this weird transitional faze right now, and anything she will say to him, or ask of him, will pull them in one of two directions. It will be either back towards where they started out, maybe with some more understanding between the two of them. The other option is something she cannot think of at the moment, because that dream, or fantasy, is still fresh in her mind.

"What kind of favor," Tony needs more information.

"I need a date to my brother's wedding," she finally blurts out.

While she knows that Owen and Lily will not mind if she comes alone, her mother will force her to bring someone. Better the devil she knows, right?

"Was that so hard," he immediately ruins the moment.

"And again, why do I bother," she asks herself out loud.

And the word devil might be the right way of referring to him. He seems to epitomize everything that she should never want, because it is bad for her. The only problem is that she cannot help but want those things, and maybe even him, anyway.

"I'll go with you," Tony suddenly agrees.

Of course, he just has to annoy her before actually agreeing to something. That is just so typically him, doing things just because he knows that they will get to her, and it is making her reconsider whatever this thing is between the two of them. Actually, she thinks she knows what this thing is. She just does not want to know it.

"Why do you always have to annoy me," she demands.

"Because it's fun," is the reply.

She has the uncanny feeling that something is going to happen between the two of them, and that this something will happen soon. The problem is that she is still not completely sure whether she actually wants anything to happen with him.

Okay, she wants it, but she is not sure whether it is actually a good idea or not.

"Not to me it isn't," she mutters angrily.

"Really," he teasingly asks her, his voice positively dripping with sarcasm. "Because the glares hadn't tipped me off about that yet."

His need to constantly make an ass out of himself is really getting to her, and it is yet again increasing her doubts about the whole situation. She can, of course, still tell him that she was joking about the whole thing and go to the wedding - and the pre-wedding dinner - by herself. But she is not sure if she really wants that.

"You are such a smartass," she argues with him.

They are both just waiting for a reason to start a fight, and she knows it. Suddenly, he seems just as uncomfortable about the whole thing as she is. She almost starts laughing out loud at the absurdity of the whole thing. But then Ziva walks in.

"What does being smart have to do with Tony's ass," the Mossad officer asks.

"It's just a saying," she replies, shrugging her shoulders.

The other woman's continued mistakes in her idiom are really starting to drive her crazy, just like the mistakes drive Ziva herself crazy. The other woman really does not like making mistakes, even if those mistakes are just small idiomatic errors. Some days, she can understand some of Ziva's traits. Other days, she does not really care.

"American idiom makes me bankers," Ziva speaks in frustration.

"It's bonkers," she gently tries to correct her.

Tony is sniggering like an idiot at Ziva's mistakes, and even though a part of her wants to laugh with him, another part of her wants to smack him. Maybe that is their problem: the constant ambiguity in what they feel towards each other.

"Oh darn it," Ziva mutters. "Stop laughing DiNozzo."

Of course, this does not stop him from continuing to laugh at his coworker. He does not stop laughing until Abby shows up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head.

"Ouch," he shouts out in annoyance. "Abby!"

The three women are now all standing around him. She is trying to hide her grin at the proud look on Abby's face, something she tries to mask when Tony fixes his glare on the both of them. She muffles a giggle and Abby tries to look innocent.

"What," her best friend innocently asks.

"Was that really necessary," Tony almost whines.

He looks so much like a little kid at the moment, and she is resisting the urge to "aw" at him. It would sound completely idiotic to everyone else in the bullpen at the moment, and it would make him feel like an absolute idiot. And on second thought, maybe she should do it. Making him feel like an idiot kind of sounds like fun at the moment.

"Of course it was, Tony," she tells him, grinning.

"Head slaps are necessary to keep you in line," Abby continues the explanation.

At this point, neither of them can keep a straight face. Even Ziva is grinning at the look on Tony's face, a look which is best described as a sad puppy look. At least, until he notices them laughing at him. Then, he starts with his best glare.

"Hey Abs," she finally greets her best friend.

The perky goth is grinning at Tony at first, and then turns around to face her. As she watches Abby's pigtails bounce, she wonders how many Caf-Pows her best friend has already consumed today. She has a feeling that she will not like the answer. It is still reasonably early in the morning, and Abby is already pretty hyper.

"Kate, you haven't been down to see me in ages," Abby then says.

"I know," she admits. "It's been busy."

And she does not want Abby to find out about her and Tony, which she undoubtedly will if she spends some time with her. Abby has an uncanny knack of noticing things nobody else does, which is what makes her so good at what she does.

"I'll just have to stay here then," Abby continues.

Her friend really sounds determined to talk to her, which means that she either has some argument with McGee again and needs her to explain or be sympathetic, or it means that she has found out that there is something happening between her and Tony. And at the moment she is leaning towards the latter. And that would be bad.

"I don't think Gibbs would agree Abs," Tony speaks, noticing their boss.

"Bad luck to Gibbs then," Abby stubbornly responds.

Knowing that Abby's back is turned towards their boss, she knows that her friend has not yet noticed the older man's presence. Nobody dares to warn her, knowing that warning Abby can result in head-slaps for all of them. So they stay silent.

"He's standing right behind me, isn't he," Abby asks the rhetorical question.

She dares to nod at her friend in an apologetic manner, knowing that Abby is one of the few people who can get away with saying this kind of things to Gibbs.

"Why are you up here Abs," Gibbs asks her.

"I was just getting some fresh air," Abby answers, grinning.

The entire group knows that it is just an excuse. She grins as she walks towards her desk, waiting to see how Gibbs is going to react. Getting back to her desk is just a matter of precaution, trying to avoid a slap to the back of the head. She will bet fifty bucks that Tony will be getting smacked within the next five minutes.

"Up here," Gibbs asks, not buying the excuse for a second.

"I'll go right back to the lab now, Gibbs," Abby responds, saluting him.

That always serves to get a grin out of their boss, and when Abby walks out of the bullpen, Gibbs even dares to smile. Then, Tony finally gets that slap to the head.

"Hey," Tony shouts out, rubbing over the sore spot.

"Stop harassing your coworkers and start working," Gibbs barks at him.

Tony immediately gets back to his desk, dropping down on his chair with a pained look on his face. Ziva is also back at her desk, and the only one who seems to be missing is McGee. She looks around to see if their boss is paying attention, and when she notices that he is busy with his computer, she gives Tony a smile.

She might actually like that he is going with her. But that might have something to do with how she feels about him. She might have finished falling completely.

When she looks up at him again, he grins at her and winks.

Oh yeah, she is finished with falling in love with him.

AN: They'll get somewhere. I think it could be soon.


	15. Elevator Action

-1**Chapter fifteen: Elevator Action **

Summary: The elevator is not just a meeting room.

Disclaimer: If it was mine, they'd use the elevator in this way.

AN: Almost named this after the Guy Sebastian song.

Another reasonably calm day in the bullpen, with just paperwork to occupy them. She could use an interesting case right now, because she just cannot seem to keep her mind on the reports that she is supposed to be writing. The main reason for that is the boredom, but Tony's incessant staring at her is also a part of the reason.

"Have you heard anything from your stalker lately?," she breaks the silence.

"Actually, it has been pretty quiet," he responds.

Maybe she is just starting on this topic so that he will stop staring at her, but if that is really her goal, then it really does not seem to be working. He is still staring at her, with a look on his face that is probably best described as "hungry".

"Maybe she's getting the hint," she poses her theory.

"Maybe she's busy with her work," Tony immediately counters that.

She seriously doubts that his stalker would stop harassing him just because something more important has come up at work. If she had to profile that woman, she would definitely peg her as the type who never gives up, until she has reasonable evidence that her work is of no use. She would not be giving up just yet.

"Heck if I know," she says, shrugging her shoulders.

This hungry look on his face has not changed, and she has no idea what she should say or do about it. She has the feeling that commenting on it will only earn her one of his more sexist remarks, and she is not particularly in the mood for those.

"You want to go out for lunch," he asks, no doubt thinking "date".

"Sure," she agrees. "As long as it's not terribly unhealthy."

His question about lunch, coupled with the look in his eyes has her thinking of a simple lunch with a colleague as a date. A real date this time, not one of those pseudo-dates they have been on when they were just pretending for the sake of his stalker. Somehow that both excites and annoys her. She does not really want this to happen, because that will mean she will get even further involved in whatever it is between them.

"I know a place where they have great wraps," he suggests.

"I'd like that," she responds, feeling like she's on her first date ever.

And she still remembers that first date, when she was in sophomore year, and Sammy Davies had asked her out. They never did really make it past that first date, because his ex had become available again soon after. High school memories, oh joy.

"Good," Tony says with a pleased grin. "Are you ready?"

As she shifts around some of the papers on her desk, and logs off from the computer, she looks up at him again. He is just about bouncing on his feet, seeming very excited about this lunch, which only further proves her date-theory. And she is still not sure about whether this is really a good idea or not. A date with Tony?

"I don't think I'll ever be completely ready for you," she teases.

"You're so funny," Tony replies with a mock-annoyed look.

They head off towards the elevator together, leaving the bullpen completely empty, something that Gibbs is definitely not going to like at all. But she just cannot find it in herself to care at the moment. Not even when she sees her boss walking into the bullpen just as the elevator doors close right in front of them. She grins.

When the elevator starts moving, and immediately stops again, she turns to look at Tony, to see what he is up to. The hungry look is back tenfold, and that is starting to freak her out more every second. She has no idea what he is up to.

"Do you want to have a meeting in here," she asks, mocking him.

"I'm not Gibbs, and you're not Fornell," is his irritated response.

All of the things she can think of that they can do in this elevator are seriously starting to freak her out. Maybe it is just where her brain usually ends up these days, but all those things she is thinking of at the moment do not belong with Tony and her. She is sure that her mind is generally stuck in the gutter because of him, and if she connects that to this situation she is not sure if she should run or encourage what he is thinking.

"Well, why did you stop the elevator," she questions, starting to get annoyed.

"I just -," he starts stuttering. "I don't know."

Running is probably not an option, since they are in an elevator. But if she really wants to leave she can flick the switch again and get out. Even if he is standing in front of the switch at this moment, she is still able to leave. That is, if she wants to leave.

"Very smooth, DiNozzo," she mocks him.

Deep down, she has the feeling that he is holding on by a thread. Judging by the hungry - lustful? - look in his eyes, the thread is slowly starting to unravel. And somehow, that thought secretly excites her. Even though she is still not sure if she wants to leave, a part of her really wants him to just lose control and go for it.

Because if the way he kissed her when they were undercover is even close to what is going to happen now, she will let go with him. She will want it to happen again.

"Oh to hell with it," Tony then speaks.

He stalks over to her - those last few steps - and she almost wants to step back, because he is getting into her personal bubble. But she stands her ground, even when he places his hands on her cheeks and kisses her, pulls her in as close as she can get.

For a moment, she does not know exactly what to do. This is too strange to be true, and she wonders if this is another one of her fantasies about him. Maybe she just fell asleep at her desk again. It would definitely not be the first time she thought of him in her daydreams. But then she starts kissing him back, and she knows that it is real.

It is much better than nice, and it is so addicting that she almost does not want to stop kissing him, even if she has to breathe. She reluctantly draws back.

"What was that," she breathes.

Everything just seems completely surreal at the moment, like the world has shifted off its axis. This was never supposed to happen, but at the moment, she cannot be bothered to think of the reasons why it was not supposed to happen. She just wants to think about how it felt and debate if she is going to kiss him before he can ruin the moment.

"If you still have to ask that," he teases with a grin.

"You know what I mean," she responds, hiding a smile.

The cat-ate-the-canary smile on his face makes it kind of obvious what he is thinking about the whole thing. She does not want to analyze his motives, so she forcibly pushes away any thoughts about that. She just smiles at him.

"It's called a kiss, Katie," Tony mockingly explains.

"I know that, you moron," she replies.

That would have to be one of the most childish insults she has ever used, but her brain is a bit too fried at the moment to think of something more mature.

"That wasn't very nice," he pouts.

His bottom lip is sticking out a little, and her already fried brain is having trouble on focusing on what he is staying. Especially when all she wants to do is kiss him again, and the way he looks right now only makes her want to kiss him even more.

"What if I don't want to be nice," she flirts with him.

"That sounds like a nice idea," Tony immediately goes along with it.

Originally, she was just trying to get the point across that she does not feel the need to always be nice to him. She has never done that, and that one kiss - and those fantasies she has been having - do not change that. She is not going to change all of a sudden just because of that. Even though the flirting was definitely not planned.

"Your mind is permanently stuck in the gutter," she says in her huffiest voice.

It is completely unheard of that the one kiss would change so much. But then again, deep down she knows that everything changed a long time before this, even before he came to her with his stalker problem. She thinks everything started back at Bethesda, when she stayed with him. That must have been the start of all of this.

"It will keep yours company," he teases her.

"You're a pig, DiNozzo," she speaks, seriously annoyed this time.

Between constantly thinking about kissing him again and being seriously annoyed by him, she is starting to go crazy. She needs to pick one of the two.

Her choice is a little easier when she sees the way he is looking at her. She knows that his choice is already made, and she wants to agree with him. She wants to kiss him again, and avoid any thoughts about his reasons and her reasons for it all.

Screw reasons, she thinks as she steps into his personal space, as she leans in again and kisses him. And like the last time, she only stops when she needs breath.

"What was that," he immediately mocks her again.

That just makes her annoyed at him again, and she almost kisses him again just to silence him and keep them from arguing. Because why bother with arguing with him when kissing him is so much nicer? She would much rather choose the second option, and when she finds herself leaning in again, she stops fighting it.

When she finally draws back again, a couple of kisses later, she realizes that they are still standing in the stopped elevator. The other people in the building must be going crazy waiting for the elevator by now, because minutes must have passed already.

"We're holding up the elevator," she speaks, hating how breathless she sounds.

She does not want him to think that this means that everything has changed between the two of them. She does not want him to think that this means everything. She does not want him to think that there is some sort of relationship now. She does not want him to presume anything about this. She wants it to be her call from now on.

"Right," Tony speaks up. "Gibbs might need his meeting room."

Those words slam her right back into reality, and she does not notice that he has flicked the switch until the elevator starts moving again.

Gibbs. Rule Number Twelve. They work together for Pete's sake. Why didn't she think of this before she started making out with Tony DiNozzo in an elevator? This is just wrong, all wrong. Somehow, she has to make it right again.

"This was a mistake," she blurts out.

Why did she let herself forget about all of the reasons not to do this? She cannot deny that she has thought about this happening, but she has managed to avoid actively pursuing this by mentally listing all the reasons why it would just be a Bad Idea. Of course, she had not anticipated him coming after her. That was definitely not planned.

"Kate," he asks, looking her in the eye.

This is just all too surreal, and she just wants to turn it all back. Or maybe they can just pretend it never happened. That could work. He owes her, so he is not going to tell anyone about it. So they can just go on like it never happened. Even if it was good.

"We work together," she tries to explain.

Maybe he is starting to get her point, which will only make things a lot easier for the both of them. Because she needs some time to think it all over again.

"I guess this means no lunch, huh," he asks softly.

"I guess not," she replies.

She almost steps closer to him again, but then the elevator stops and the door opens, revealing a group of very annoyed people waiting to get in. She is hoping that there is no obvious sign of what has transpired between her and Tony in the elevator. No lipstick on his face, or anything like that. Nobody can know about this.

"I'll see you after lunch," Tony says as they walk out.

He steps out of the building with a bounce to his step that was not there before they got into the elevator. She watches him leave because she does not know what else to do.

……………

When she walks out of the elevator, into the bullpen, after not quite enjoying a quiet lunch alone, Tony is not yet there. Knowing him, he probably picked up some blonde on the way to have a nice and cozy lunch at some greasy diner. And by the time his lunch break is over, that same blonde would have been wrapped all around him.

She is going to try to convince herself that this feeling that she has in the pit of her stomach is not jealousy, but so far it does not seem to be working.

"Hello everyone," she hears Tony, walking into the bullpen.

He sounds particularly happy, which probably has something to do with the blonde that he must have spent his lunch break with. She considers the possibility of the girl being a redhead, but then realizes that redheads are more of a Gibbs thing.

"Why are you so happy," McGee asks.

"I'm having a good day," Tony responds, sounding happy.

Wondering about what the blonde possibly could have done to make him to happy is just going to make her sick to her stomach, so she turns her attention back to her work. She does not want to hear anything about the date he managed to score. He will probably come to talk to her about ending the ruse for his stalker's sake. It will be soon.

"What's her name," Ziva looks up from her computer.

That comment just hit the nail right on its head, she thinks as she looks up from her computer and shares an appreciative grin with the other woman. When she looks at McGee, she notices that the other agent is laughing as well. Tony is the only one who does not seem to be particularly amused at Ziva's comment.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he speaks innocently.

His faux-innocent response makes a rather embarrassing noise slip out. It was a cross between a scoff and a snort. At least it indicates that nobody believes him.

"Very elegant, Katie dear," Tony immediately mocks her.

"Shut up, DiNozzo," she responds with a glare.

McGee and Ziva are suddenly very focused on their respective computers, as if they can sense the tension between her and Tony. Seeing that most agents are good at sensing this sort of thing, and the tension is pretty obvious this time, that is only normal.

"As you wish, ma'am," he says, saluting her.

These sort of things always make her remember why getting close to him is not the smartest thing she has ever done. He can be a good person, but when he is irritated he would have to be one of the most annoying men on the planet. And because he is so observant, and he knows her so well, he knows exactly how to annoy her.

"Now you're just trying to piss me off," she notes.

"And I think it's working," he comments with a shit-eating grin.

His arrogance can be absolutely astounding at times. She is determined not to show how much he is getting to her, but it does not seem to be working. She is still unable to wrap her mind around what happened in the elevator, and she is still trying to convince herself that it was all a mistake. And now she is stuck with him annoying her as well.

"You think," McGee responds, more sarcastic than she has ever heard him.

She knows he is not doubting if Tony actually thinks, because McGee does not make comments like that. He is merely stating that everyone can see that Tony's attempts at annoying her are working. And she really does not like that.

"Stay out of this, McGee," she warns.

The glare she then shoots at him immediately makes him shut up. McGee is still influenced by glares rather easily, something she tends to abuse mercilessly, especially lately. There just have been too many comments from him about what is going on between Tony and her, and she is so sick of talking about that.

"Is this some sort of jealousy issue, Katie," Tony questions her.

It really bothers her that he can read her like that, and that just makes her even more angry at him. Maybe someone should warn McGee and Ziva to stay far away from the two of them for a while. Because she certainly does not like Tony right now.

"Of McGee," she asks him mockingly.

"Of the girl," he answers, as serious as he will ever be.

Why did she even give a second of thought to something more than just that stupid kiss with him? She should have known that it was just going to go wrong again, especially knowing the two of them. They will always start fighting again, and he will always find a new girl to spend his time with every day. And that is not going to change.

"Jealous of your girl of the day," she exclaims. "Never!"

The denial is probably obvious to everyone by now, but she does not know what else to say. If she did not deny it, things would be even weirder.

"How could I possibly think that," Tony asks sarcastically.

"I don't know," she replies. "Maybe you should check that one cell you call a brain."

Now she is just being vindictive and cruel, but for some reason, she just cannot seem to stop herself from saying these things. This has always been her first instinct when working with Tony: lash out the minute he gets to you. Of course, usually her lashing out at him is not quite as obvious as it is now. But that is because of the situation.

"Wow, Katie," he continues. "Is it that time of the month?"

Actually, it is not, but that is absolutely none of his business, and she has to make sure that he knows that. She is sick of the stupid insinuations about the time of the month every time she is annoyed with him. There are other reasons for annoyance.

"Don't call me Katie," she orders for the umpteenth time.

"Is the guy of the month not doing it for you," Tony then asks.

Of course, if it is not about a certain time of the month, it has to be about sex. With Tony, just about everything is about sex. Even one's mood always has something to do with sex, and judging by Tony's mood, he has not been getting any lately. He is being just as cruel as she is, especially considering what happened in the elevator.

"It couldn't be any less of your business," she lies.

It is his business, and they both know it. They both know that he is the only possible candidate for the guy of the month job, but they maintain the façade for now.

"Do you really think so," he asks.

"I really think so," she answers.

At this point, they are both sitting at their desks, both fuming. McGee is still caught in the crossfire, and at the moment she does not care, because she is too torn between being angry at Tony and being angry at herself for letting things happen in the first place.

Why did she let it happen? There was absolutely no excuse for it this time. At least when they were undercover they had an excuse for acting like they did. Now they just acted out for a reason that she does not want to think about.

Because it's wrong.

AN: Tension anyone? Yeah, so I'm evil again. I have been stuck on chapter sixteen for months. I'm going to cut in the length of the story, because I fear my original plan for it would just drag. Hopefully, this will mean the next chapter will be up soon…


	16. Honey Buns

-1**Chapter sixteen: Honey Buns**

Summary: Tony and Kate fight. It's what they do.

Disclaimer: It's not mine. To coin a popular Sunnydale phrase "Duh".

AN: They'll make… Something. Up or out. Or both.

One could cut the tension in the bullpen with a nice, large sword. Only if she can borrow it afterwards and cut off certain parts of a certain someone with it. At least that would mean that he would not go after all kinds of women again.

Like the one who is leaning over his shoulder at the moment, completely comfortable with invading his personal space. And his privacy, because Ziva seems to be reading with him over his shoulder, reading his personal messages. The messages she has sent to him might be in there, and she does not want the other woman to read them.

"I didn't know your nickname was Honey Buns," Ziva casually remarks.  
"Only Naomi and I call him that," Gibbs wanders in.  
And who might this Naomi be, she wonders. She tries to dismiss the way the name makes her feel, like somebody has just punched her in the gut, and instead focuses on giving Tony her angriest glare. So it is that easy for him to forget about it all.

"Who's Naomi," she asks, sounding like a jealous girlfriend.

"You don't know her," Tony dismisses the issue.

No, of course not, she would not know the tramps he hangs out with when he is not hiding from his stalker with her, or making out with her in an elevator when they really should be working, or going out on something resembling a date with her. She would not know the women he swore not to date for the sake of their ruse.

"Of course I wouldn't," she responds, incredibly frustrated.

When Tony responds by standing up from his chair, she just glares at him again, daring him to say anything while Gibbs is still around. She knows that he will not try such a thing, which means that she is safe from inquiries for the time being.

"Okay, that's it," Tony sounds fed up. "We need to talk."

He may think that they are going to talk this out and have some sort of happy ending, but she is not going anywhere with him. She does not want to talk about anything, and especially not about what happened in that elevator. Because that is something they will never talk about again, no matter what she has to do to avoid it.

"No, we don't, DiNozzo," she refuses to leave.

"We do," he continues to disagree with her. "Gibbs, Kate and I are taking a break."

Now he is involving their boss in this ridiculous thing? She is getting more and more annoyed with him by the minute. She might have to elbow him again.

"Because that went so well the last time," she mutters, under her breath.

His head immediately snaps upright, and she knows that he has heard what she said, something she really did not want him to hear. It was meant to be a comment to herself, not for his ears. Because she does not want him to think she is thinking about it.

"Can you just listen to me for once," Tony asks, exasperated.

"Maybe when you have something useful to say," she shoots back at him.

The hurt look he gets on his face after she says that, that look almost makes her want to apologize to him, no matter that their boss would hear everything. But she would like to think that she is not that far gone - yet? - so she stays quiet and refuses to look him in the eye. It is too weird to look him in the eye at the moment.

"Kate, DiNozzo," their boss barks out their names, sounding even more annoyed than she is at the moment. "Either start working or discuss this somewhere far away from me."

Well, she would like to choose the first option, because the second option does not sound appealing at all. That option comes with awkwardness and heartache.

"Leaving now, boss," Tony makes his choice.

"What," she asks, almost shrieking. "I'm not going anywhere. Especially not with you."

Ziva looks up at that particular tone of voice, and she can see Gibbs wince. Because she is too busy looking at the reactions of her teammates, she does not notice Tony nearing her until he hoists her over his shoulder and marches towards the elevator.

"Put me down, DiNozzo," she immediately demands. "Now!"

Still hanging over his shoulder, banging her fists on his back, she is happy that she did not wear a skirt to work today, because that would have increased the embarrassment. By the time she hears the elevator doors finally closing, her fists have started to hurt. Still, he keeps her on his shoulder until he has stopped the elevator.

"Now we can talk," he tells her.

He is probably wearing that satisfied smirk of his, she thinks as he finally starts to put her back on her feet. She is thinking about castrating him when she gets back down.

"How could you embarrass me like that," she says instead. "That was in no way profes-"

She is cut off by his lips on hers, and she is so surprised by his move that she forgets that she is supposed to be very angry with him. At least, for a little while she can let herself forget that she should be mad. Because kissing him still feels exactly the same as it did the last time, and she knows what that lead to. So she stops and pushes him away.

"Don't you think you can ju-," she starts to speak again.

But again, he cuts her off with his lips, and she thinks that she can almost get used to the feeling. Because it is too good to be Tony. If it had been just about anyone but him, she would have been involved with the man in question now. Now, she can't.

"Now can we talk without you yelling," he asks as he steps back.

"I cannot believe you used kissing as a tool to silence me," she responds.

Now that she has shook herself out of the daze his kisses got her into, she sees his reasons for trying this little stunt in the first place and she cannot help but get mad at herself for falling for his stupid tricks. She usually has much more common sense than this, enough to realize when she is being played. Why should he be any different?

"Oh, I had plenty of other reasons," Tony speaks with a leer.

That leer of his is usually just annoying, but now it makes her feel something that could be called butterflies. And she does not like it, does not like that he can make her feel this way all of a sudden. She wants these feelings gone, even though she likes it.

"Don't pull that on me either," she orders him.

"Fine," he says with a childish pout. "Can we talk now?"

When she sees his bottom lip sticking out, she finds herself leaning in to kiss him again, but she stops herself just in time to avoid intense humiliation. This is probably just a game to him, and she does not want to play. She just wants to make it out of the stupid game intact, and with no pieces of clothing removed.

"What do you want to talk about," she asks innocently.

"Are you really that deep in denial," he asks in kind, skeptical.

So maybe that last question was pushing it a little bit on the denial issue. She knows that she will not be able to pretend that it has never happened, at least not to him. She will not be discussing this with anyone but him, however. No talking to Abby about it, because her friend would be way too convinced that this thing actually means something.

"Fine," she finally agrees in a huffy tone of voice that sounds way too childish. "We kissed. You were obviously mistaking me for a hot blonde. The end."

That would be an adequate summary of events, while at the same time avoiding mentioning her feelings about everything. Because if she starts talking about that… Well, that will just end in pain for the both of them. Heartbreak for her, castration for him.

"Do you really think that," he questions.

"Do I even need to answer to that," she asks mockingly.

They both know that she will not have to say anything about that, but Tony does seem really surprised that she thinks something like that. And that, in turn, surprises her. How could he be surprised about that? He has always chased after blonds about five to ten years younger than himself and suddenly he is kissing her? It is too weird.

"No, I did not mistake you for someone else," Tony says, sounding exasperated.

She is still unsure about whether this is just a talk to get into her pants or if this is a genuine speech because he actually feels something for her.

"Which means," she asks him, eyebrow raised.

"I wanted to kiss you," he then admits. "I want to kiss you."

The specification of the tense makes her stomach flutter, and she almost wants to forgive and forget, were it not for the woman sending him e-mails and calling him by nicknames that suggest a relationship much more intimate than theirs.

"What about Naomi," she questions.

"She's an ex," Tony explains. "She sent me an e-mail for Valentine's day."

That excuse sounds a lot like the one she has heard the cheating husbands use time and time again. She is no longer sure whether she should believe this line coming from him, knowing his usual dating habits. And what should one kiss mean anyway? Well, maybe a couple more than one, but the sentiment still remains.

"And I'm supposed to believe that why," she questions him.

"Because I promised you I wouldn't date anyone else," he responds.

His usage of the term "anyone else" suggests a relationship between the two of them that really does not exist. They are nowhere near actually dating, even though they have a tendency to make out in an elevator when they are supposed to be working.

"To keep the ruse up, yes," she agrees with him.

"Is it still just the ruse," he then asks, surprising her. "Tell me, Katie."

She takes comfort in knowing that if he is really that worried about this, that it must mean that he has at least some feelings for her. She does not know how deep these feelings run and how long they will last - knowing him, about a week or two - but at least she knows that there is something there. It is still unclear what it all means.

"I don't know, alright," she admits. "That's kind of the problem."

It is starting to get more and more obvious to everyone that she is starting to care for him too much, even if she does not want anyone to know about it. She does not even want to care this much in the first place, let alone have people find out about it.

"If it was not just the ruse, it wouldn't be a problem," Tony speaks carefully.

Is he actually trying to say that he would not mind if it really was more? Maybe he would actually like it if it were more than just a cleverly plotted ruse, maybe these feelings he might have for her are stronger than just another one of his passing infatuations. Maybe she is letting her thoughts be colored by her rose-colored glasses.

"Is that your way of saying it's more," she asks him.

"Yes," he answers, "and trying to avoid you emasculating me."

So maybe it is not just these rose-colored classes she seems to be wearing a lot lately, maybe it can actually mean something. She needs it to mean something.

"What do you want from me," she questions his actions.

"Give me a chance," he tries to convince her. "For Valentine's day."

She has almost forgotten about the lover's holiday because she was way too busy with trying to figure out this thing between her and Tony. Only now that this thing is starting to figure itself out, she can start thinking of what is going to happen on Valentine's day.

"Fine," she agrees, trying to sound reluctant. "But if you screw up…"

The underlying reluctance in her voice is because she is still scared that he is just going to get tired of her after a week or so - or after he has gotten her into bed, her conscience insists - and leave her. That would completely ruin the group dynamic, because she simply would not be able to work with him anymore.

"I got it," Tony seems to understand.

"Good," she approves. "That means we're done here."

And for some completely stupid reason, she kisses him again, letting him draw her back to the wall of the elevator. She does not even break off the kiss when she flicks the switch so that the elevator starts moving again. Because she really wants to get to Tony, she does not stop kissing him until just before the elevator doors open at their floor.

"All talked out," Gibbs mockingly requests an answer.

"Yes boss," Tony says. "Ready to go back to work."

She almost laughs out loud when she sees the dazed look on Tony's face. He has not yet completely recovered from their time in the elevator together.

"Of course, Honey buns," Gibbs states.

After hearing that nickname again, she just has to laugh out loud, even though Tony sends her a mad look from behind his desk as she sits down, still laughing. This day seems to have improved a lot over the last half hour or so. Let's hope it stays that way.

"Stop laughing and start working, Probie," Tony barks at McGee.

The other agent in the bullpen was laughing right with her, but Tony never tolerates things like this from McGee. She sends him an apologetic look, wondering why Tony does not seem to be in a very good mood. Maybe something is wrong already, or maybe she is just being way too obvious about her feelings. Because Gibbs cannot find out.

A beep alerts her to a new e-mail. Noticing the smile Tony is sending her, she knows that this is probably something crazy that only she can know about.

"_I'll pick you up at seven, _she reads. "_Wear something sexy. Your Valentine"_

Well that is just typically Tony. She nods in agreement, and he smiles.

……………

When they arrive at the restaurant where they will have their first official date, she is completely stunned. The place looks way too expensive. She knows that Tony has some money, but this is just way too much. A dinner at this place might cost as much as a month's rent. He does not have to do this for her.

"Their pasta is absolutely delightful," Tony starts as they are taken to their table.

She follows the waiter, her eyes still about popping out of her head at the sheer luxury of this restaurant that he has taken her to. She almost feels out of place, even though she is wearing her fanciest dress. This place is just a little too much.

"You've been here before," she asks.

"Yes," Tony nods. "My father wants to be taken here if he visits."

This may be one of the few times Tony has actually mentioned his family. His father is alive, she knows that, but he is also one of the most elusive characters in Tony's life. She is curious, she has to admit that, but if he doesn't want to talk about it, she's fine with that too. She really just needs to enjoy dinner and focus on him instead of her surroundings.

"He sounds very dominating," she mentions.

"He is," is the answer. "But can we please not talk about him?"

That figures. Just a few words and then he clams up again. Well, she really needs to change the subject now. This is still a bit weird.

"What do you want to talk about," she asks, sitting down.

"How much I'm never going ice-skating with you again," Tony responds.

Is he still on about that? It has been months since they went ice-skating together. Maybe she should suggest doing it again, if only for the laughs a skating Tony would provide and the amusement of seeing him fall on his ass again. Not that it's really that bad.

"It wasn't that bad, Tony," she tells him for that reason.

"I think my ass is still sore," he says, practically pouting.

"Oh, poor Tony," she grins at him.

She is already expecting some kind of dirty comment about his ass. It is kind of strange that knowing this no longer makes her want to hit him. Sure, she still finds some of it extremely annoying, but it is not nearly as bad as it used to be.

"Do you want to kiss it and make it better," he asks, a lascivious look on his face.

"I should have been expecting that one," she responds, making a show of rolling her eyes.

While looking around at the other people in the restaurant, she thinks she sees Sheryl - the infamous stalker - sitting a few tables to the left of them. She shrugs it off, because there is no way the girl is crazy enough to actually follow them into the restaurant. Maybe she would show up as a waitress, or look through the window, but not this.

"I got you to smile, didn't I," he says.

"There's a motive to your madness." She grins at him.

"I wouldn't exactly say madness, but yeah," Tony agrees with her.

Even though she does not believe Sheryl is actually there, the thought of her being there is enough to make her seriously uncomfortable. That woman is a big part of how her relationship with Tony got started, but the stalking still creeps her out.

"You're a very strange person." She shakes her head, smiling.

"I'm not sure if I should feel insulted," he flirts.

He is incorrigible, and that is a great distraction from the possible appearance of the seriously annoying stalker. She needs to keep the conversation going, to stop Tony from noticing Sheryl. Because that would ruin the entire date.

"I meant strange as in difficult to figure out," she clarifies.

"It's all part of my charm," he continues.

She has to scoff at the mentioning of his charm, even though she is officially a believer now. It is just the old pattern that is so ingrained in the two of them, the pattern that allowed the two of them to slip back in their roles of antagonists after their first kiss in that elevator. It is not that easy to slip out of the pattern.

"One moment you're perfectly nice, and the next, you're a complete pervert."

"As I said, all part of my charm," Tony repeats. "So, what would you like for dinner?"

Eyeing the menu, the old-fashioned one that was designed typically for females so they would not have to see how expensive everything is, she looks over all the dishes.

"Everything seems so delicious," she almost swoons.

"Good idea for Valentine's Day," he asks, grinning widely.

"Yes, very," she responds, smiling a Cheshire Cat smile.

Then, without even thinking about it, she leans over the table and kisses him. That familiar feeling rushes in when she feels him kissing back. She immediately knows that there is no way this date will be ruined. Sheryl who?

AN: That took long. Very long. Need food. Need sleep.


End file.
